Zeppelin12 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 So long story short this guy I've been seeing for almost four months recently disappeared on me without a single word. Last October we ran into each other at a bar (I knew him previously but not in a romantic way) and he messaged me on facebook to get together. We hung out for about a month and than he went MIA. Nothing happened between us and we mostly hung out in bars so, although it bothered me, I wasn't shaken up to much. He messaged me in January I didn't answer. In April I messaged him to meet up for a bee. He came and apologized, said he was going through a lot. He was in a 5 year relationship that ended and said he got back into drugs and alcohol and knew it was bad timing for us. Our age difference bothered him (I'm 23 he's 33). But he was crazy about me and said he never felt this way about someone. From that night forward we spent almost every day together until about three weeks ago. He started getting depressed and pulling away. I gave him his space, but we were still talking daily. Two weeks ago he asked if I'd come over. I was out with my friends but he kept calling so I ended up going. He said how much he missed me and how he feels like we never see each other anymore. The next time he started texting me at 8:45pm to come drink. I told him it was already late but I would like to make plans for the weekend. He never answered. I texted him the next day and just said hey what are you up to tonight? No answer. My question is do I send a text explaining how I deserve an answer and it's not fair to do this to me or do I just let it go and wait to see if he contacts me? I know he obviously has issues but it's not fair to exclusively see someone for almost four months and not tell them you're over it!
MidwestUSA Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Do NOT text him. From the looks of it, it's over. No need to drag an answer out of him; it won't be one that satisfies you anyway. Sounds like the guy has some issues related to his substance abuse. He contacts you when he's in a mood to drink. Is that the person you want to be? Always waiting to see if he's going to flake or call with ridiculous last minute invites? Isn't your time more important than that? Ten years is a bit of an age difference at this stage in your lives. Sounds like he's not mature at all for his 33 here on earth. Good luck!
Philosoraptor Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Doesn't look like he's ready for a commitment right now, and it seems like you were a rebound from after his 5 year relationship. The "I've never felt like this before" is the quick emotions of someone on a rebound. I wouldn't ask for any response, and I wouldn't respond back to him once he does get in contact. I'm sure he'll have a good lot of excuses for his actions if he comes back around.
Balzac Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 said he got back into drugs and alcohol and knew it was bad timing for us. He gave you an answer. It wasn't a cryptic answer. He was straight up honest, you failed to listen.
Author Zeppelin12 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 said he got back into drugs and alcohol and knew it was bad timing for us. He gave you an answer. It wasn't a cryptic answer. He was straight up honest, you failed to listen. I figured he stopped doing drugs since we started actually dating. He drank daily but i was with him pretty much every day so I knew he was clean up until a few weeks ago when he started pulling away
Balzac Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 What knowledge do you have about addiction? It's kinda funny that you can say he was drinking everyday but you call that "clean"?! I'm sorry but at 23 you sound naïveté. Who in your family is an addict because you seem very primed to be a codependent enabler.
Author Zeppelin12 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Actually my father and uncle, which is how I met him. He worked with my uncle. I guess that's why seeing someone have a couple beers every day doesn't seem like a big deal until I read it in black and white.
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