hegeman Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 After a lot of strife I am still in love with my ex. A complete disconnect for 9 months. What more can I do to move on?
Soat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 After a lot of strife I am still in love with my ex. A complete disconnect for 9 months. What more can I do to move on? Decide you've pinned enough and move on. 1
Hoax Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 After a lot of strife I am still in love with my ex. A complete disconnect for 9 months. What more can I do to move on? Change your life. Pick up a new hobby, course of study, or travel abroad. Make the most out of life and find joy again. 1
Author hegeman Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Change your life. Pick up a new hobby, course of study, or travel abroad. Make the most out of life and find joy again. I have. Thousands of miles away. Almost everything that can be done has been done. Most would say everything is going well. But deep down, I haven't lost the feelings for her. 1
Soat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I have. Thousands of miles away. Almost everything that can be done has been done. Most would say everything is going well. But deep down, I haven't lost the feelings for her. Try my tough love guide in my signature http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/418580-my-7-step-guide-breakups
Author hegeman Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Try my tough love guide in my signature http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/418580-my-7-step-guide-breakups I've done most. Worse yet it was a particularly awful breakup.
TrblinMN Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Sorry to hear it has been tough on you. I feel the same way at times. Many people say it does get easier...I just don't see it myself either.
Hoax Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 It's only been a year. That's not that long in the grand scheme of things and certainly not long enough to have picked up a course of study and completed it; nor is it much time to have launched a career or really pursued a new hobby. 2
hellischrome Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Be careful not to mix real feelings and nostalgy. I know it sounds silly but sometimes we don't really love that person anymore, just the idea of that person (or sometimes even the idea of being with that person, or with someone in general). 3
keepontruckin Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 A complete disconnect for 9 months. What more can I do to move on? Do you own a motorcycle? No? If you have the cash, and the time, buy a Harley... 2
TrblinMN Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I can feel your pain cause I am starting to go down the same path you are on. I'm doing the best I can but I still can't move on and stop thinking of my ex. I hope all it takes is just one good day and I will turn that corner. I hope all will work out for you! Good luck to you.
LostInTheWild Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Wake up every day and be glad you are alive -- many do not have this privilege. The sun shines so you can walk out of your door. The bugs make noises for you. The scent in the air is life living without you. Embrace life. There is no need to be sad when so much beauty surrounds you. 3
Author hegeman Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Wake up every day and be glad you are alive -- many do not have this privilege. The sun shines so you can walk out of your door. The bugs make noises for you. The scent in the air is life living without you. Embrace life. There is no need to be sad when so much beauty surrounds you. All true. An issue for many here is just because someone has fallen out of love with you, it doesn't necessarily follow that you can fall out of love with them. I still love here despite all reason and all the wonderful people around me. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 Nothing to add really, I just like this thread as it seems to speak to those of us a little further on in the process, and the challenges we face. 1
Author hegeman Posted August 30, 2013 Author Posted August 30, 2013 Pretty awful because everyone thinks you are good and yes you should be good but no. Not really. Not for a lack of trying. Not for a lack of effort. Not for nothing. Farkkkkkk
alexjames88 Posted August 30, 2013 Posted August 30, 2013 I sympathize. Has been almost same time with my ex boyfriend and I love him more now than I think I did during the relationship. It is really so painful and some days it really is fresh and raw and just horrendous to get through. After a lot of time I almost convince myself they may still be feeling the same way. They won't. At best they will be open to being convinced and therefore falling in love with you again. In terms of my experience my ex had his 9 months of pain after the break up whilst I had some I was off busy working or drinking heavily. A weird combination. However the next 9 months has been hell on earth for me. Totally sober and having suspended my business (because I hated it and therefore now working on new opportunities career wise) I have time and I miss him so much. If it would change anything to travel to London today and show up at his door saying "let's give it another go" I would. But it won't. Maybe in years and years time we can both laugh at ourselves for being foolish and love sick puppies?
bob the brave Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 I saw a documentary once in which they compared the MRIs of people's brains showing the pain centers for those that had broken legs and those that had emotionally broken hearts. They were identical! Their point was that as far as the brain is concerned, it thinks a broken heart is ever much as real an injury as a broken leg. So, I guess it just takes time. Someone else here posted a great idea. Every time she pops into your head, immediately start thinking about something else. After a time your mind will just discard her memory. 1
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted August 31, 2013 Posted August 31, 2013 Be careful not to mix real feelings and nostalgy. I know it sounds silly but sometimes we don't really love that person anymore, just the idea of that person (or sometimes even the idea of being with that person, or with someone in general). EXACTLY THIS!! I think a lot of us who are a year or so (maybe more) post breakup tend to forget about nostalgia. I believe this poster is spot on, in that we're possibly confusing it with what we think is "love". Hmmm, that is such a brilliant thought, hellischrome. I never looked at it like that.
Author hegeman Posted August 31, 2013 Author Posted August 31, 2013 I saw a documentary once in which they compared the MRIs of people's brains showing the pain centers for those that had broken legs and those that had emotionally broken hearts. They were identical! Their point was that as far as the brain is concerned, it thinks a broken heart is ever much as real an injury as a broken leg. So, I guess it just takes time. Someone else here posted a great idea. Every time she pops into your head, immediately start thinking about something else. After a time your mind will just discard her memory. I wonder what the MRI looks like when you suffer both simultaneously 2
Sugarkane Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 Do you own a motorcycle? No? If you have the cash, and the time, buy a Harley... Love this idea.
Dumped85 Posted September 2, 2013 Posted September 2, 2013 I miss my ex still, after 3 months. Im struggling to let her go aswell. Plus battling depression. I just wan to let it go.
unexpectedlyhere Posted September 3, 2013 Posted September 3, 2013 EXACTLY THIS!! I think a lot of us who are a year or so (maybe more) post breakup tend to forget about nostalgia. I believe this poster is spot on, in that we're possibly confusing it with what we think is "love". Hmmm, that is such a brilliant thought, hellischrome. I never looked at it like that. Interestingly in our only post-breakup conversation the ex told me that it was really hard to stay with the friends he stayed with because they live in the same area where I used to live when we got together and it brought back happy memories etc. etc. and at the time I thought "Then why are you saying it's final?!" Dumpers can more easily distinguish between love and nostalgia. Mostly because they don't feel love anymore.
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