Locust Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I been thinking about using escort/prostitutes to lose my virginity at 27 years old, and people are telling me that if I do go this route it could mess up my future dating life. Is that true? If it is I guess it really won't matter because I just turn 27 years old this year and never date and had a girlfriend my whole life I would say probably do not matter at this point. So much of my youthful sexual life is wasted and never enjoy a single bit of it. Only masturbated my whole life. I cannot masturbate forever.
Lani Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 To me, this wouldn't matter. As far as I'm concerned as long as people are single, and safe, they can have sex with whomever they damn well want. As many times as they want. Whenever they want. It doesn't mean they aren't capable of a relationship or are tarnished in any way. But from what I've read here on LS I'm in the minority... See what the crowd has to say 1
Joaquin Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 How would they know youve been with sex workers? Are guys on some level obliged to tell a new gf or bf that they've paid for sex? Maybe they are. At the very least you'd need to start getting tested regularly for STIs and be sure of yr status before u enter into a new relationship. 1
juicygirl Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Why wait all that time just to ruin it now? I think if you meet a nice girl and tell her your first time was with a hooker she'll run away from you. Think of it this way would you date a girl who told you she was a former escort? I have a male friend who didn't have sex until 27. Before that he was depressed but didn't want to address it.He just went to work and home, but complained that he never met nice girls? I had to give him a kick up the bum and tell him to snap out of it, because unless you're really lucky a nice girl isn't going to just magically turn up at your house. How about you? Do you need a kick up the bum? Lots of girls will date a 27 year old virgin but less would date a guy who's first time was with a hooker unless you don't tell them and then you start off with a bad foundation 1
sweetkiwi Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 To me, this wouldn't matter. As far as I'm concerned as long as people are single, and safe, they can have sex with whomever they damn well want. As many times as they want. Whenever they want. It doesn't mean they aren't capable of a relationship or are tarnished in any way. But from what I've read here on LS I'm in the minority... See what the crowd has to say Agreed. Though I think I'd rather have the escort than the dude who got with the escort . 2
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Here's a recent and identical thread that may contain the answers you seek: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/408621-women-would-you-date-guy-who-had-used-escorts-past 3
Joaquin Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Why would your future partner need to know? Also, as a woman I can't say I'd be too keen on dating a 27yr old virgin to be honest with you (yeah, yeah I know boo me, I'm a horrible woman, etc, etc) and I know a lot of others who would say the same. Although being with an escort once won't make you a stud in bed. He'd need to go for the girlfriend experience option and sticking with the same one for a while might help.
Author Locust Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 How many visit you think I would need to make before considered enough experience? I realize I'm too old for this virgin mess and most women would not want to date a virgin guy at my age anyway. So I must seek escort with for a while.
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 How many visit you think I would need to make before considered enough experience? I realize I'm too old for this virgin mess and most women would not want to date a virgin guy at my age anyway. So I must seek escort with for a while. Most women aren't going to ask if you're a virgin at your age. Or is your experience different from that? I assume you don't walk around wearing a t-shirt saying "I'm still a virgin! :eek:" ? 1
Author Locust Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Most women aren't going to ask if you're a virgin at your age. Or is your experience different from that? I assume you don't walk around wearing a t-shirt saying "I'm still a virgin! :eek:" ? That is true I don't, but the lack of knowledge of what I do in the bedroom will show. Crap I never French kissed before. I kissed someone on the lips before when I was like 19. But I never went any further than that.
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 That is true I don't, but the lack of knowledge of what I do in the bedroom will show. Crap I never French kissed before. I kissed someone on the lips before when I was like 19. But I never went any further than that. So if you've never even kissed a girl properly but are worrying about being a virgin then my advice is don't cross the bridge before you come to it.
Auguria Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Ok. I understand you. I understand your frustration, desire and willingness to, finally be done with your virginity. You're 27 years old. Would I be in a relationship with a man who's used escorts in the past while he had options and had lost his virginity at a "reasonable" age according to social standards ? Absolutely not. It would simply mean that we had different values. But, in your case, I think it's understandable. It's, I'd think, more than about having sex for you. It would also free you. I would also answer honestly if a future girlfriend were to ask you. Honesty is, indeed, the most pivotal quality of a truly loving relationship. 2
Arabella Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Why do we keep having a re-do of this thread every few weeks? Tons of women care, some of which have loudly expressed so on this forum. I am one of them. I would never touch a man who has ever been with an escort. I would ask, and if he refuses to disclose or the answer is yes, it's game over. I've not slept around in my entire life and I want a man who values sex and intimacy as much as I do. I would have absolutely no problems answering whatever questions he might have about my sexual past. Different strokes for different folks. Generally, women who have held themselves to a high sexual standard, are going to expect the same. -A 1
oldshirt Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Unless you tried to legitimately date the hooker, how would anyone else on the planet know you had been with a pro????? You have absolutely ZERO obligation to tell anyone what you have done or with whom...EVER. What people have done in the privacy of their bedroom is their business and their business only.
ThaWholigan Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Didn't we do this thread already?? You have this option OP, or you can try to step out of your shell like I've been doing . I didn't quite make it to 27, but I spent most of my adult life so far as a virgin until around this time last year. 2
Arabella Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Here's a link to the old thread where this discussion was had. Over 18 pages of it! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/408621-women-would-you-date-guy-who-had-used-escorts-past
KathyM Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 How many times are you going to post this same thread? Your agenda is pretty obvious as to why you keep posting this. 1
ThaWholigan Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 How many times are you going to post this same thread? Your agenda is pretty obvious as to why you keep posting this. He wants validation, that's his only agenda. I do not think people understand that in the mind of an older male virgin, it can seem extremely difficult to even get a positive response from women on a romantic level. Of course he's going to consider paying for it. He wants reassurances that he's not going to get. Ultimately, he should do what he feels is best.
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 All women will want to date you. It'll be fine.
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 As we see here, he won't get that reassurance. What can he do therefore? Well if the goal is to lose his virginity then he might as well go for it. The problem is what to do next... I don't think it will solve whatever problems have meant that he hasn't found a willing partner so far and won't give him any magic to find a willing partner afterwards, especially given that so far he hasn't even kissed a girl. If the goal is to get a date that goes as far as getting to the bedroom then I'm not sure that "being a virgin" is the problem. 1
Arabella Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 As we see here, he won't get that reassurance. What can he do therefore? Lose virginity that way anyway as any other way is too far-fetched to be viably considered, then lie to any prospects he meets, should he meet them and the question comes up. Though hopefully it may not (both to question coming up and meeting potential prospect in the first place). Oh yeah, advising someone to lie to get into a relationship with somebody... what a great idea! My fiance lied to me about a critical fact (not escort related) that I'd specifically asked about before we began dating. He did it because he knew the truth wouldn't fly with me. I found out the truth months after we got together, and I nearly dumped him. Six months later, that one little lie had nearly destroyed our relationship. We've barely just started to recover, and our relationship may never be the same again. I still think I should've just dumped him when I found out. Consider that carefully before you go that route. People have the right to choose their mates on whatever criteria they deem acceptable, and most women will not take kindly to that right being taken away by lies. -A 1
Arabella Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Using your own logic, that would be having your own criteria of "not wanting a partner who is judgemental towards your past" or "not wanting partner who reacts really badly when they find out you lied about your past". I WANT a man who is judgmental towards my past. That's why there's nothing in it that I would be ashamed to share with him And if he doesn't want a partner who reacts badly when finding out she's been lied to, he's pretty much screwed with most women who have a sense of self-worth... 1
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Not having suicidal thoughts for me beats any inconveniences I might face later on due to that choice. Not like those can't be handled IMO. If seeing a prostitute means not topping yourself then that sounds like a good reason to go for it. If anyone else is in that situation I might suggest considering more traditional therapy, first, though.
PogoStick Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Try putting an ad on craigslist. I'd be surprised if someone doesn't bite. Real 27 y/o Virgin Shy guy looking for a woman to show me the ropes. I once put an ad up "Looking for best BJ", and surprisingly found exactly that. The woman was separated and said she got good at BJs to avoid sex with her hubby. Even more amazing she asked for nothing in return. No sex, no play, nothing. Isn't life grand? 1
Arabella Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Well, then pretty much nobody in the world has a sense of self-worth, because pretty much everybody lies all the time about variety of things. You can't have 100% honesty 100% of the time. Though there is a difference between lies. There is: "How are you? Good" when you just had a diarrhea, there are questions about past and there is hiding that you are married/have kids/have STD. Severity of those is quite different IMO. Feel free to disagree though, if you think those are all the same. I actually do try to be honest 100% of the time, and succeed. But I pretty much agree with you on the spirit of your statement. Lying about what you had for lunch is not quite on the same level as lying about big things in one's past. However, if a woman flat out asks about a man's past and states it's important to her... do you actually think it's ok to lie about that? You're essentially taking away her right to choose. 1
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