mesmerized Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Doesn't sound like he's all that interested to be honest or he has very low self confidence. Does he? And I don't even think that for the lack of kissing but for the "let me know if you wanna do this again". It's a cold way to ask for another date you know...more like something he said to just have said it.
Phoe Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I didn't get to read through every response, but I personally wouldn't worry about no kiss on date 2. I've never been with a guy who was so quick to kiss. In fact, my last boyfriend did not give me a first kiss until he asked me to be his girlfriend. It took quite a while...
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Doesn't sound like he's all that interested to be honest or he has very low self confidence. Does he? And I don't even think that for the lack of kissing but for the "let me know if you wanna do this again". It's a cold way to ask for another date you know...more like something he said to just have said it. It sounds like indifference to me, not a lack of confidence.
Imajerk17 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) SG you *can* send another text but he doesnt *deserve* one from you. Not until he tells you he cant wait to see you again and lines up Date 3. Then you can text him. The man who does deserve you will be pursuing you like gangbusters. Save your texts for him. Edited August 23, 2013 by Imajerk17 2
kaylan Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) Second date and no kiss? Id assume he wasnt that into you. Ive only cheek kissed girls I wanted to just be friends with. With women I like, our first kiss isnt a cheek kiss.Doesn't sound like he's all that interested to be honest or he has very low self confidence. Does he? And I don't even think that for the lack of kissing but for the "let me know if you wanna do this again". It's a cold way to ask for another date you know...more like something he said to just have said it. I wouldnt say its a lack of confidence. Guys sometimes say that so girls can show their own eagerness to see a guy again. Dating isnt all about men doing the pursuit. At least not for guys with options and who know their worth. Edited August 23, 2013 by kaylan
Kamille Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) I've been in your shoes. It's usually when I'm restless, sometimes because I'm really into the guy. But most times, it's actually because I really need to take a break and treat myself to something relaxing. Stop trying to figure this out. I know it's fun to think about him - but make sure it doesn't cause you to feel restless and anxious. If you find yourself feeling either of those, take a (short) time out for yourself. Edited August 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 2
Versacehottie Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Hmmmm, I would be more bothered by way he threw out the 3rd date comment than the fact that you haven't kissed yet. Nothing wrong wrong with it but it shows either a lack of confidence in a)himself b)you and him c)unsure interest level. I wonder if he just didn't feel confident that you would want to go on a 3rd date. One thing that I don't think anyone has mentioned is that you haven't mentioned (i don't think) is whatever his last relationship stuff is. I think sometimes guys can be a little cautious even though they are dating again when they have recently been hurt or confused by last relationship. That could explain both how he asked for 3rd date and not kissing you yet. On a positive note, i think sometimes they don't kiss in first several dates because they respect you a lot and want to show you they are different from average guy--especially if being gentlemanly is big part of his qualities. And as you said, location and environment can throw a wrench into his best laid plans to kiss you. Maybe that's why he is suggesting running. I can imagine playful body contact on an outing like that. I liked that article that someone posted about "doing nothing". I think since you were responding positively to him he has no reason to not try to pin you down for 3rd date. And believe he will, if he's interested. My take: I do happen to think he's interested but perhaps a little confused. If you are limited with open body language on first date and then more open on second, he may think you're indifferent too. Idk, but if you're attracted to someone why not let you're body language and affection show that EACH time you see them. Simple enough not to take it to kissing if you don't want to on first date. However, showing that you have an affectionate side is sexy. And guys typically like that.
Kamille Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) I really hate when people say stuff like this. Here's why: lots of different posters commenting with various opinions on a subject we've all experienced and can opine on. Just because it's not worth thinking about to you doesn't mean it's not worth talking about. Let me rephrase the jist of my post: I hope all this talking and thinking about this guy isn't amping up anxiety in any way. If it helps you approach dating in a serene way, then I don't see the harm in this. I still think there is way too little information to go on to make an informed decision. I still recommend doing something that relaxes you - and makes you feel like a million bucks, before making any decision about your next move with this guy. Edited August 23, 2013 by Kamille 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 SG you *can* send another text but he doesnt *deserve* one from you. Not until he tells you he cant wait to see you again and lines up Date 3. Then you can text him. The man who does deserve you will be pursuing you like gangbusters. Save your texts for him. Well, I took your original advice and amped up the flirting. He responded quickly and well, we had a couple exchanges, and then it ended. I'm not going to go into play-by-play detail, but it was all good. I was concerned that I hadn't given him the right signals last night; I'm confident in leaving the ball in his court now. Who knows; we'll see. I think he's indifferent, and I know how that feels... I've felt that way about 99% of the guys I date. Blah. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Let me rephrase the jist of my post: I hope all this talking and thinking about this guy isn't amping up anxiety in any way. It's not. As tbf would put it, I'm not fearing loss. I wasn't wondering, "Do I contact him or not?" I went ahead and did so and I'm cool with whatever comes of it.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 So did he ask you out? The weekend is upon us. When a guy is really into you he'll be wanting to know if you can squeeze him in to your weekend plans. In my experience dudes know how they feel about you pretty much from the get go. No, he didn't. We talked about our upcoming weekends on the date; I already know he's unavailable (out of town). Forgive me, but it seems like you're trying to *prove* that he's not into me. Is that what you're trying to do? Or are we going to let this unfold naturally as I think it should?
MrTurk Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Its always a lose-lose situation for guys. I've had the same experience with women I've gone out with. If I try to kiss too fast they assume I'm out for sex. If I try to show I'm not out for sex...and take time to get to know them(like EVERY woman seems to complain that guys never do) then they instantly over analyze my actions second guessing every little thing I do. 2
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 He should be all over you wtf. At least I would. Yeah... let's check out some of these other options as well.
Janesays Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Well, I took your original advice and amped up the flirting. He responded quickly and well, we had a couple exchanges, and then it ended. I'm not going to go into play-by-play detail, but it was all good. I was concerned that I hadn't given him the right signals last night; I'm confident in leaving the ball in his court now. Who knows; we'll see. I think he's indifferent, and I know how that feels... I've felt that way about 99% of the guys I date. Blah. Ouch. If you're getting the 'indifferent' vibe after a mere 2 dates, I'd say this one is dead in the water. Get back on that website and set yourself up with another amazing prospect...that'll take the sting out
ForeverHopeful1 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 With all due respect, since when is not going for a goodbye kiss after a date considered being gentlemanly? Id think most women might find it a bit "un manly", but I am not a woman so I cant answer. I would think that an ass grab or something might be considered un gentlemanly(early on), but not a goodbye kiss.. TFY Please re-read the original post. He did give her a kiss on the cheek. He also gave her a bear hug. Some women would prefer a hug and a nice kiss on the cheek after only 2 dates.
MrTurk Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Well, I took your original advice and amped up the flirting. He responded quickly and well, we had a couple exchanges, and then it ended. I'm not going to go into play-by-play detail, but it was all good. I was concerned that I hadn't given him the right signals last night; I'm confident in leaving the ball in his court now. Who knows; we'll see. I think he's indifferent, and I know how that feels... I've felt that way about 99% of the guys I date. Blah. Ouch. If you're getting the 'indifferent' vibe after a mere 2 dates, I'd say this one is dead in the water. Get back on that website and set yourself up with another amazing prospect...that'll take the sting out This is exactly what turns me off to dating. All the bullsh*t back and forth...with noone being honest and open with each other. Because we're supposed to follow the "rules" of jostling back and forth with each other....making a game of it. .
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Ouch. If you're getting the 'indifferent' vibe after a mere 2 dates, I'd say this one is dead in the water. Get back on that website and set yourself up with another amazing prospect...that'll take the sting out Well, I feel indifferent too... in the sense that yeah, I'd like to see him again, but no, I'm not going to be upset if I don't. Hmph.
Phoe Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Well, I feel indifferent too... in the sense that yeah, I'd like to see him again, but no, I'm not going to be upset if I don't. Hmph. Maybe he sensed that from you. It may be why he phrased the suggestion of a 3rd date in the manner that he did. 1
MrTurk Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Why not just talk to him openly about all this??
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Why not just talk to him openly about all this?? How do you suggest someone in my shoes openly discuss this? Seriously. It's been two dates. I'm wondering if he's interested. This is not something to talk about with him. 2
Knoxpwns Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Perhaps you should try to kiss him next time? er ma gerd, this ^^^^
MrTurk Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 You tell him how you feel...and let him know you are a little puzzled by his actions....and wanted to hear it from him instead of just making assumptions. being direct like I am....is probably about the only good trait I have when it comes to having asperger's. Everyone else is so afraid of divulging whats really on their mind, or how they really feel. At least I know I've said my peace each day and have no trouble sleeping at night.
tbf Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 You tell him how you feel...and let him know you are a little puzzled by his actions....and wanted to hear it from him instead of just making assumptions. being direct like I am....is probably about the only good trait I have when it comes to having asperger's. Everyone else is so afraid of divulging whats really on their mind, or how they really feel. At least I know I've said my peace each day and have no trouble sleeping at night.We're talking about two dates. The last thing SG wants to do, is to come across like this: http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/Funnyjunk+please+stop+acting+like+a+Needy+Girlfriend.+Every+post+_ee6b045a6c4a18095f975f4de1039b5e.jpeg 2
Els Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 You tell him how you feel...and let him know you are a little puzzled by his actions....and wanted to hear it from him instead of just making assumptions. being direct like I am....is probably about the only good trait I have when it comes to having asperger's. Everyone else is so afraid of divulging whats really on their mind, or how they really feel. At least I know I've said my peace each day and have no trouble sleeping at night. Seriously? Do you also think that folks with marriage and kids on their mind should be giving people timelines for that on their first date, as well as explaining that they'd like to be cremated next to their family when they die, which should preferably consist of 2 children, but 3 is okay? I don't advocate 'tests' and 'games' the way some people play them, but there is something to be said for the magic of the unspoken word. Knowing when, how, and if to bring things up, not just throwing everything out in the open the first hour you meet someone. 3
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 You tell him how you feel...and let him know you are a little puzzled by his actions....and wanted to hear it from him instead of just making assumptions. being direct like I am....is probably about the only good trait I have when it comes to having asperger's. Everyone else is so afraid of divulging whats really on their mind, or how they really feel. At least I know I've said my peace each day and have no trouble sleeping at night. I didn't realize you are an Aspie. No, no I will not be doing this. There's a reason why understanding social cues and norms is important. 1
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