Imajerk17 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Wait. Throw a bone. Wait. Throw a bone. I'm on a teeter totter here! Gals say wait. Guys say bone. (Haha!) Hmmmmmm. I'm a guy and I say wait. But then I'm one of those men who likes to claim women and make the first move. Maybe that's different from the typical LS dude? {shrug} 2
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Wait. Throw a bone. Wait. Throw a bone. I'm on a teeter totter here! Gals say wait. Guys say bone. (Haha!) Hmmmmmm. Make that gals + Mr. Nate. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 With all due respect, since when is not going for a goodbye kiss after a date considered being gentlemanly? Id think most women might find it a bit "un manly", but I am not a woman so I cant answer. I would think that an ass grab or something might be considered un gentlemanly(early on), but not a goodbye kiss.. TFY I would have liked a lil' ass grab. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I would have liked a lil' ass grab. Ill bet...seeing as you told the whole LS world you are hornier than a 3 peckered billygoat! Just kidding... TFY 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Ill bet...seeing as you told the whole LS world you are hornier than a 3 peckered billygoat! Just kidding... TFY I am!!! I want to be...taken! With "throw down"!!! 1
tbf Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Say he doesn't try to kiss you again on the next date but gives you another hug. When he ends the hug, gently take his forearm and let your hand lightly and lingeringly drift down his arm, all the way to his finger tips as you're walking away. As you're doing this, give him a partial side and back glance, one full of promise. If he's into you, the first skin to skin seductive contact and look, should cause his hand to close on yours, not allowing you to walk away. A kiss usually follows. 7
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Say he doesn't try to kiss you again on the next date but gives you another hug. When he ends the hug, gently take his forearm and let your hand lightly and lingeringly drift down his arm, all the way to his finger tips as you're walking away. As you're doing this, give him a partial side and back glance, one full of promise. If he's into you, the first skin to skin seductive contact and look, should cause his hand to close on yours, not allowing you to walk away. A kiss usually follows. TBF! I just... 3
KungFuJoe Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 *I* would have stopped seeing someone, if after two dates, there wasn't even a kiss. If there is ANY kind of chemistry, whatsoever, I will go for a kiss on the first date...and have certainly done a whole lot more. When you first meet someone, you should feel butterflies and there shouldn't be these types of lingering questions in your mind. At least that's how I feel. 3
tbf Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 ...and I'm wet. TBF! I just...Ve have our vays, without needing to be direct. Subtext baby! 3
hopefulforlove Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Each man is different and I WOULDNT read too much into it.. us women are like that.. lol I have dated a guy where he didn't kiss till my fourth date...hugs are a way of respect I think. then I dated a guy who kissed me right away and well you know what he was after.. Then the boyfriend I have now we had at least 5 dates or so before we kissed.. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 *I* would have stopped seeing someone, if after two dates, there wasn't even a kiss. If there is ANY kind of chemistry, whatsoever, I will go for a kiss on the first date...and have certainly done a whole lot more. When you first meet someone, you should feel butterflies and there shouldn't be these types of lingering questions in your mind. At least that's how I feel. I RARELY kiss on the first date, and when I do it's usually been planted on me out of nowhere. I just don't think it's appropriate.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 This is the big difference between the US and the UK with dating. Every girl I've ever been out with, the snogging happened BEFORE the first date. Found each other in a night club or were friends before, snogged each others faces off, decided to go on a date a few days later. Takes all the uncertainty out of the process. I know, it's a big difference. In the US, we actually "date."
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I agree with dasein that discussion of cock shots or anything else crude just doesn't go on the first few dates. I get that it was to be funny - but would you really want to hear about the genitalia of your date's ex-date at that stage? It would be a huge turn-off for me. I try not to talk about exes or former dates at all for a while. At first, it should be all about us, and our connection. I agree, though having been on many many OLD dates 2+ years ago..sometimes the discussion turns to "what's your experience been with OLD" or you just have this story that is so bizarre you want to share, kind of an ice breaker or get a laugh kind of thing. If a woman told me she got cock photos, right now, at this moment, my reaction would be neutral. It's not something she can control and I don't think I would judge her for sharing. If she already came across as an attention whore, then different story. 1
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 SG, I have followed one piece of advice that has never steered me wrong. I'm like Ruby Slippers (and I sense you are the same). Obviously women get flack on LS about this, but whatevs - it's worked for me. In the beginning - DO NOTHING. That's right. A guy is going to do whatever he wants, and no amount of prodding, poking or pushing is going to change his mind about you. I think your gut is already telling you this. I always remember this when I'm put in a position like you are. When I remain calm in myself and let the man come to me in his own way and own time, he either does or he doesn't. And I'm not left wondering. His actions tell me all I need to know. Men will always do what they want. When he wants YOU, you'll know it and feel so good that you allowed him the space and freedom to choose you all on his own. I think you'll love this article. In fact his entire blog is great. The Most Important Dating Advice You?ll Ever Hear ? Don?t Do Anything | Evan Marc Katz Blog - Dating Coach VERY well said..if I am into a woman, she will know.
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Speaking personally, if I'm getting nothing from the girl, I'm LESS likely to keep coming. You lasses have to chuck us a bone at least. Yeah, but I am not hearing she "gave" nothing...I think she showed interest, now he needs to sh*&t or get off the pot.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Honestly I kind of loathe the whole dating process. When do we kiss? Is he seeing others? Will he call me? Can I text him. I haven't heard from him in three days WTF. Who pays? Should I have sex with him? Do these pants make my butt look fat? I got drunk, will he think I'm a hussie? Why does he use so much hair gel? What does it mean when his profile is still up? Omg he lives with his mother. Is his ex gf prettier than me? What if he's not over her? Haaaaaaaaaate it. I much prefer the, "To yoga pant, or not yoga pant when he comes over? Why am I asking this, I KNOW he loves this arse!" and the "Oooooh, it's time to meet the fam'!" nerves. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Yeah, but I am not hearing she "gave" nothing...I think she showed interest, now he needs to sh*&t or get off the pot. How did I do this? Articulate for me how I did this?
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 ...and I'm wet. Me too..damn you should be an author! 1
KungFuJoe Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I RARELY kiss on the first date, and when I do it's usually been planted on me out of nowhere. I just don't think it's appropriate. Ok...I'm sensing a bit of contradiction from you. You DON'T kiss on the first date, yet you feel compelled enough to create a topic complaining about the fact that you didn't get a kiss on the second date? Also I hear you talking about how you wouldn't have minded a lil butt grabbing, which I'm assuming you meant on the second date as well. Sounds like you need to make up your mind on what your priorities are and what you expect out of people because it appears that you've got this very fine tightrope in your head that you're making these guys walk. 2
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 VERY well said..if I am into a woman, she will know. And yet you said you'll be going out with women you want but not kissing them. Ummm...?
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 How did I do this? Articulate for me how I did this? Me, articulate? I can barely spell the word! Your comments/posts, I'm not re-reading every page, gave me the impression you showed interest, or at least he should have picked up on your interest. Damn, go look in the mirror again, that's enough intertest for me to go for a 3rd date! Get a few drinks in him, see if that brings his inhibitions down...in your photos I see drinking & fun times, suggest a drinking/fun/partying kind of activity for your next date.
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 And yet you said you'll be going out with women you want but not kissing them. Ummm...? Correct, meaning I am not into them right NOW because of where my head is emotionally. These are not dates though, so probably a bad example.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Ok...I'm sensing a bit of contradiction from you. You DON'T kiss on the first date, yet you feel compelled enough to create a topic complaining about the fact that you didn't get a kiss on the second date? Yes. I was wondering when someone would pick up on that. On a first date, I almost avoid/create a situation with my body language that would demonstrate to anyone who understands social cues that I'm not ready to be kissed. This is why I'm put off when I am kissed, because it's nearly forced on me. But I'm also very clear in how great a time I had and that I'm looking forward to the next time (the guys who are interested usually ask for a second date before the first even ends and we leave the place). On a second date, I'm (usually!!) much more open with my body language and welcoming and flirty, such that it's clear that *if he wants to* I'm game to be kissed. Hopefully that clarifies it for you. Where I think I went wrong here is that the circumstances didn't allow me to be my usual open, touchy flirty second date self.
KungFuJoe Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Yes. I was wondering when someone would pick up on that. On a first date, I almost avoid/create a situation with my body language that would demonstrate to anyone who understands social cues that I'm not ready to be kissed. This is why I'm put off when I am kissed, because it's nearly forced on me. But I'm also very clear in how great a time I had and that I'm looking forward to the next time (the guys who are interested usually ask for a second date before the first even ends and we leave the place). On a second date, I'm (usually!!) much more open with my body language and welcoming and flirty, such that it's clear that *if he wants to* I'm game to be kissed. Hopefully that clarifies it for you. Where I think I went wrong here is that the circumstances didn't allow me to be my usual open, touchy flirty second date self. Where I think you went wrong is that you are over analyzing, over thinking too much and not going with the flow enough. That's just my opinion though and I know not everyone will share my opinion when it comes to "dating style". But, I will say this. There is ONE trait that is UNIVERSALLY desired by every person on the planet. Consistency. And if you aren't showing it in your actions...and it can be very confusing, and ultimately, a complete turn off to people. The poor guy probably has no idea what you want him to do which is why he's being so careful and cautious. He seems like a very courteous and nice guy...probably TOO nice, in my opinion. Is that what you want? 2
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Where I think I went wrong here is that the circumstances didn't allow me to be my usual open, touchy flirty second date self. And I could be reading you wrong here, in your photos I see a fun girl, one who likes to go out with friends, drink, maybe get a little crazy, but in control when she does. I read that in your comments on LS too. Question: are the two of you compataible this way? Here is why I ask. My last gf, our 2nd date, it got crazy, lots of drinking, shots, partying at her friends house..and while on the porch, alone for the first time, I kissed her for the first time. One of the best kisses ever for me. And we got touchy feely the rest of the night, and into the morning at her friends house (long story how we ended up there). Guess what though? Turns out the partying, the drinking, the late nights into the morning, the spending the night wherever she is drunk, is who she really is. I should have seen that on the 2nd date. Instead, I was infatuated with her craziness, her beauty, her free spirit...which eventually became too much for me.
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