MrNate 2.0 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 SG. I say take him up on a date three if he offers it to you babe. All things great revolve around 3. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 SG. I say take him up on a date three if he offers it to you babe. All things great revolve around 3. Don't ask/suggest myself? 1
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 He did suggest we go for a run... Hmm. So, should I suggest a third date? Sure, if you've got a free evening/afternoon. It sounds like the worst that could happen is that you somehow get rejected, which is what you already think might happen, and the best that could happen is that we all get to use the animated bunny in the next thread about this guy. Send him something like: "So, about that run..." and see if he bites. 1
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Don't ask/suggest myself? I wouldn't. I mean, I'm not a woman, but there's something that probably would not make me feel too feminine about starting up these dates. Maybe it's the southern in me but damn it, he should be initiating everything right now. Especially that kiss. Granted, he could be a bit hesitant to do anything kinda bold since he heard about cock shot guy. He could be a bit worried about becoming 'one of those guys'..but again, if he knows he's not..he should have nothing to worry about. Let him set it up and see if he goes for that kiss. I know that he knows you want his lips. And if he's interested, he should go for that real soon. Date 3 should be telling. 2
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Two completely different opinions from two guys. :deepbreath: 3
crude Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 You're attempting to start an off-topic ranting vent. Can you answer the OP instead, please? Not really but he didn't get a kiss from you either. Ask him out, if you enjoy his company, give him a kiss. Then the ball will be in his court. Provoke a reaction from him instead of waiting passively.
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Two completely different opinions from two guys. :deepbreath: That means it's time to go with your gut, beautiful. A woman's intuition is usually rather on point. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I think this classifies as "slow burn". Relationships that started like that, always lasted longer for me. Crazy make outs on date 1 and constant texting usually fizzled out within weeks. 3
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 That means it's time to go with your gut, beautiful. A woman's intuition is usually rather on point. Problem is, my intuition isn't telling me anything... 1
Ruby Slippers Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Maybe it's the southern in me but damn it, he should be initiating everything right now. Especially that kiss. I agree. Don't ask him out, don't amp up the flirting, and don't initiate the kiss. If he likes you enough for it to count, he'll make all this happen. It sounds like you like him enough to be patient, so be patient. A little anticipation can be a wonderful thing - you're obviously wanting that kiss bad 5
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Problem is, my intuition isn't telling me anything... If it's not, then you should do whatever makes you feel most like a woman. 2
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I wouldn't. I mean, I'm not a woman, but there's something that probably would not make me feel too feminine about starting up these dates. Maybe it's the southern in me but damn it, he should be initiating everything right now. Especially that kiss. Granted, he could be a bit hesitant to do anything kinda bold since he heard about cock shot guy. He could be a bit worried about becoming 'one of those guys'..but again, if he knows he's not..he should have nothing to worry about. Let him set it up and see if he goes for that kiss. I know that he knows you want his lips. And if he's interested, he should go for that real soon. Date 3 should be telling. I am with Mr Nate..if he wants you, he will persue you. You gave him the right answer to the run question already in my opinion. He needs to step up to the plate and take some initiative here. For me personally, I want to make the plans, at least in the beginning. How long has it been since the 2nd date? Any texting since other than the follow-up later that evening?
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I think this classifies as "slow burn". Relationships that started like that, always lasted longer for me. Crazy make outs on date 1 and constant texting usually fizzled out within weeks. Agreed, date 2 with my ex gf was almost 7+ hours, drinking, partying, making out everywhere..no sex though and the clothes stayed on. She made me wait another 5+ dates for sex....so in a way, quick start, then it slowed down.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I am with Mr Nate..if he wants you, he will persue you. You gave him the right answer to the run question already in my opinion. He needs to step up to the plate and take some initiative here. For me personally, I want to make the plans, at least in the beginning. How long has it been since the 2nd date? Any texting since other than the follow-up later that evening? With the above and your other comments in this thread, I get the sense you're not really reading... I gave the right answer to the run question? I said, "You're too fast!" That was akin to a no to the run. How is that the right answer? The second date was last night. I started the thread as soon as I got home, so it's been less than 12 hours. It's 9:30 a.m. now. He typically texts every other day.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 If it's not, then you should do whatever makes you feel most like a woman. And, problem with that is, I'm a "go after what I want" person (gender irrelevant). As such, I have a tendency to chase, no matter what. I have to actually restrain myself sometimes. Also, at one point on our first date when we were talking about "the crazies" we've met from OLD, he did say something about a woman who pursued him hard, and he said something like, "She turned into the dude." So, I don't think he'd appreciate me directly chasing him. 2
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 With the above and your other comments in this thread, I get the sense you're not really reading... I gave the right answer to the run question? I said, "You're too fast!" That was akin to a no to the run. How is that the right answer? The second date was last night. I started the thread as soon as I got home, so it's been less than 12 hours. It's 9:30 a.m. now. He typically texts every other day. I read your "too fast" as in you somehow you knew he was a fast runner, and you are not, as in a run will not work well. as you run at different speeds.....sorry! Give him his usual time..you are a lot like me in the out thinking/over analyzing. On a somewhat related note, I have been going out with a few different women, very attractive, I "want" them, I want to kiss them, yet emotionally I can't right now as my ex is kind of sort of "in my life, in my head"...yeah, 5+ months post breakup, and we all know why. I am taking care of that today. So, maybe that's where he is. Emotionally he is not ready yet he does like you. 2
Janesays Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 And, problem with that is, I'm a "go after what I want" person (gender irrelevant). As such, I have a tendency to chase, no matter what. I have to actually restrain myself sometimes. Also, at one point on our first date when we were talking about "the crazies" we've met from OLD, he did say something about a woman who pursued him hard, and he said something like, "She turned into the dude." So, I don't think he'd appreciate me directly chasing him.[/QUOTe] In that case, I would definitely NOT ask him out! To me, he was very clearly telling you that he's an old fashioned dude who would be turned off by that. So listen and let him be the man. As you can see, he gets sleeves out by woman 'acting like the dudr.' 2
BluEyeL Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 No kiss on the second date is not a big deal. You are overreacting. Just wait for a week and see if he asks you out. The "let me know if you want to do it again" seemed a bit noncommital. I had noncommital endings like that that before and usually they didn't call again. But you never know. All you can do is play the waiting game. 1
MrNate 2.0 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 And, problem with that is, I'm a "go after what I want" person (gender irrelevant). As such, I have a tendency to chase, no matter what. I have to actually restrain myself sometimes. Also, at one point on our first date when we were talking about "the crazies" we've met from OLD, he did say something about a woman who pursued him hard, and he said something like, "She turned into the dude." So, I don't think he'd appreciate me directly chasing him. If that's how you feel, then it wouldn't hurt to put the brakes on at least just a little for now. Seems he's more comfortable with dictating the pace. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I also don't think you should wait for forever for him to lay one on ya. So this date 3 might be a good chance to get a good gauge on things. I may have asked this before, but I'm not sure: What kind of fellas usually do it for you SG? I'm kinda curious. 1
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 In that case, I would definitely NOT ask him out! To me, he was very clearly telling you that he's an old fashioned dude who would be turned off by that. So listen and let him be the man. As you can see, he gets sleeves out by woman 'acting like the dudr.' And, something to think about, are you guys compatible because of this difference? May seem trivial now, down the road though..... 1
BluEyeL Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Agree with the other poster on the c-ck shot thing, I've avoided opportunities with women based on who they have dated in the past, and though that behavior was not in the least your fault, might avoid such in the future, or any metaconversations about OLD at all while out on one. . I didn't catch that comment in the thread, but I would agree that this was a mistake to bring it up. I never tell about people who treated me badly or did me wrong, because I think that puts me in a bad light, I don't want to appear as a victim or in somewhat an inferior position. I'm confident and strong, not going to tell what my ex husband did to me, or how OLD men sent me c*ck shots or anything where I appear as a victim. No ranting/venting/complaining from me, ever. At least early on. Waiting until I'm engaged at least.
thefooloftheyear Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 So I guess its safe to say that the generally accepted "rule" that full blown sex on the third date seems pretty unlikley at this point? All kidding aside, whats wrong with the woman making the first move for a kiss? Its happened to me many times....*shrug*... You know what you want, S-G..Just go and get it! TFY 2
Imajerk17 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Two completely different opinions from two guys. :deepbreath: I'd vote for letting him bring it up but I don't think you're going to go to hell (or more to the point, "ruin it" with this guy) by bringing it up yourself. I mean I sweat the small stuff a lot myself, but when it's right it's right, right? I am wondering why you'd want to get involved with a guy who isn't excited about being with you though. Not saying, for sure, that this guy isn't that into you but if he were would you be wondering like this? But yeah, try turning up the heat via text. Sometimes some people just need a little shove.... 1
Ruby Slippers Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 And, problem with that is, I'm a "go after what I want" person (gender irrelevant). As such, I have a tendency to chase, no matter what. I have to actually restrain myself sometimes. You can keep doing that. But it seems it's not really working for you. So it's not a bad idea to try a different approach. Also, at one point on our first date when we were talking about "the crazies" we've met from OLD, he did say something about a woman who pursued him hard, and he said something like, "She turned into the dude." So, I don't think he'd appreciate me directly chasing him. That's good that he made his preference on pursuing perfectly clear. I'm as liberated a woman as you can be - but when it comes to male-female relations, I'm old-fashioned and see the beauty in doing the traditional mating dance. I believe that pursuing a woman he really likes fires a man up in a big way. And if you're not giving him room to miss you, want you, pursue you, you're eliminating all that hot man energy. 2
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Agree with the other poster on the c-ck shot thing, I've avoided opportunities with women based on who they have dated in the past, and though that behavior was not in the least your fault, might avoid such in the future, or any metaconversations about OLD at all while out on one. Who are you agreeing with about this? I see no such comments. And seeing as that discussion came up on the phone before he even asked for a first date, I don't think the fact that I received unsolicited cock shots did me a disservice.
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