Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Tons of lively conversation (per usual), he picked our wine and our dinners (perfect!), quickly grabbed the check, made slight references to places we can go in the future... but the date ended with a kiss on the cheek followed by a bear hug outside the front of the restaurant, and him saying, "Let me know if you want to do it again." I'd hoped he'd walk me to my car and we'd do the awkward "are ya gonna kiss me, or not?" dance, ultimately ending with a smoochie smooch, but no dice! He is a total gentleman though (and I'd told him about the last guy who sent me cock shots, so he might be acting on his best behavior right now...?)... I texted him when I got home to thank him again and let him know what a good time I had, and he responded in kind... so, we'll see? But no kiss at the end makes me go Am I being ridiculous? 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I have to say though what are you bringing to the table? Are you willing to cook and clean for him? Would you be willing to quit your job if he wanted you to be a stay at home mom for a while? What does this have anything to do with why he didn't kiss me at the end of a second date/whether he's really interested in seeing me again? 18
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Doesn't mean much in my opinion. Maybe he is shy, maybe there wasn't enough of flirtation/sexual vibe from your side to make him comfortable in kissing you. 3 dates with no kiss is where I get worried 5
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 He's a linger-hugger... But dang, I was hoping for a kiss, not only because it's so demonstrative of interest, but to make sure he's a good kisser! 1
Imajerk17 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Turn up the heat flirting-wise over text and see how he responds. Its hard for me to advise more because I'd want to kiss by Date 1 even.... 1
Els Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Meh, if you like him, just go for Date 3 and see what happens? 2
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Turn up the heat flirting-wise over text and see how he responds. maybe there wasn't enough of flirtation/sexual vibe from your side to make him comfortable in kissing you. I definitely could stand to amp this up... and so, I will!
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Turn up the heat flirting-wise over text and see how he responds. Its hard for me to advise more because I'd want to kiss by Date 1 even.... It's something I forget to do. I am so focused on weeding out men that only want me for sex, that I don't really put out any sexual/flirtatious vibe out there. On my last date, I was a bit cold so I sat down with my coat buttoned up to my throat the entire date I think this is OK on later dates, but there needs to be a bit of "heat" on early dates since it's very quick and easy to dismiss someone. I also did zero flirting and just talked about intellectual topics. No wonder the guy didn't feel like kissing. 2
Dzlez Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Silly girl. You REALLY like him huh its okay to act like that. I normally don't go in for the kiss until the 3rd date because 3rd date is when you can finally be more comfortable with each other. It also depends if both of you are in the mood for it. No kiss after the 2nd date is definitely normal lol. Don't worry! I'm sure he'll go in for the kiss after the 3rd date. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Completely overreacting. Maybe he takes it slow, maybe he's nervous. Who knows. You could always kiss him as well. It's not illegal for women to kiss men 2
MgoBluegirl Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I think if he talked about a 3rd date then I think he is just shy. 4
Simon Phoenix Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I think if he talked about a 3rd date then I think he is just shy. You get a like because of your screenname. Go Blue!
Emilia Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 "Let me know if you want to do it again." This would turn me off I think. I remember dating only one man whom I didn't share a kiss with on a first date, I met him through OLD. My dates are usually men I have known for a while and we have a kiss or more on a first date after being very familiar with each other already. Apologies if you said this already but did you meet him through OLD? 1
Kizza Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 You talked about guys sending you cock shots on your second date? Wonder what he though about that topic of conversation. 5
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 (and I'd told him about the last guy who sent me cock shots, so he might be acting on his best behavior right now...?)... Could be! Depending on how it came into the conversation he might've taken it as a warning/clue to go slowly. Or, was the conversation so boring that you ended up talking about previous dates to pass the time? Aside from that hug at the end, was there any flirting or touching earlier? Were there signs that you would've been receptive to being kissed? Maybe he was being overly cautious because he wasn't sure how it would be received. Given his parting words, it sounds like he isn't sure that you're interested! Or maybe he's just the sort of guy to take things slowly anyway. Nothing wrong with that if you can stand to wait. If there's a third date, try to make it something more on the 'activity' side of things so that there's potential for more physical interaction than sitting opposite a restaurant table. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Could be! Depending on how it came into the conversation he might've taken it as a warning/clue to go slowly. Or, was the conversation so boring that you ended up talking about previous dates to pass the time? Conversation was always fun and lively from the very beginning. It came up as part of a, "There are some crazies on OLD sites! Have any crazy stories?" kind of thing. He's very laid back but a total gentleman and his eyes bugged out when I told him what I experienced. Aside from that hug at the end, was there any flirting or touching earlier? Were there signs that you would've been receptive to being kissed? Maybe he was being overly cautious because he wasn't sure how it would be received. Given his parting words, it sounds like he isn't sure that you're interested! Our first date was at a restaurant but we sat at the bar, and as a result we were able to sit next to each other, which allowed for a lot of playful and flirty touching and grazing of arms and what not. Last night, we went to dinner again and say across from each other, so we couldn't flirt that way. He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and a bear hug that kinda lingered for a second, and the same thing when we departed. Or maybe he's just the sort of guy to take things slowly anyway. Nothing wrong with that if you can stand to wait. If there's a third date, try to make it something more on the 'activity' side of things so that there's potential for more physical interaction than sitting opposite a restaurant table. He did suggest we go for a run... Hmm. So, should I suggest a third date?
Janesays Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I wouldnt ask him out. I'd wait to see if he asked you out. Only because in my experience if a guy doesn't kiss you OR go to the effort to nail you down for a date (vague 'we should do this again sometimes' don't count), it means he is not very interested. If he contacts you and asks you out, at least you know he's interested and not just going along for the ride. If he doesn't, you have your answer. 2
soccerrprp Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 "Let me know if you want to do it again." Does this sound wholly committed to you? Why didn't you respond then and there? It's almost as if he was distancing himself from any rejection or not too clear. He throws out that line that is essentially giving you a future opportunity to respond for better of for worse, but no immediacy to it. Anyway, he may be shy or he may checking things out. It could be that he doesn't want to physically commit beyond the hugs until he is somewhat certain. He put the ball in your court. Ask him out again. I wouldnt ask him out. I'd wait to see if he asked you out. Only because in my experience if a guy doesn't kiss you OR go to the effort to nail you down for a date (vague 'we should do this again sometimes' don't count), it means he is not very interested. If he contacts you and asks you out, at least you know he's interested and not just going along for the ride. If he doesn't, you have your answer. I must admit, I did think about this too. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Does this sound wholly committed to you? Why didn't you respond then and there? . Haha... I think I said, "Okay!" really happily, and he said, "We could go for a run?" and I said, "You're way too fast!" Oh gosh. At the end of our first date, he asked if I wanted to see him again, and I said, "Absolutely!" and he did this cute, "Yessss!" thing, you know where you guys clutch a fist and bring your elbow down (hard to describe). I didn't get that, "Yesss" this time, and I think I know why!
TigerCub Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Don't worry about it Star, I once went out with a guy that was the same. He didn't kiss me till the 3rd date. The first date when he didn't kiss me, I thought he was maybe shy The second - just had me confused. The third he kissed me. But one thing I did notice was that because he didn't kiss me, it intensified every little touch, like when he walked next to me and had his hand on my back. or when he gave me the long hugs. I dunno, I think it was not jumping into the kiss that made the little physical things more wow. So don't sweat it and don't be I think 3rd date is gonna be the one and if by some chance he doesn't kiss you on the 3rd date - just grab him and plant one on him - you take the lead...it can be really hot. 2
soccerrprp Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Haha... I think I said, "Okay!" really happily, and he said, "We could go for a run?" and I said, "You're way too fast!" Oh gosh. At the end of our first date, he asked if I wanted to see him again, and I said, "Absolutely!" and he did this cute, "Yessss!" thing, you know where you guys clutch a fist and bring your elbow down (hard to describe). I didn't get that, "Yesss" this time, and I think I know why! Oh, good. So why don't you think you got the same enthusiasm as before? Do you think he was playing it 'cool' this time? Or something else?
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 To the OP, are you worried he isn't interested or are you just venting? I am sure he is just trying to be mr. gentleman. Sounds interested to me. Worried he's not really interested. And at the same time, the last few relationships I had that lasted any bit of time went the same way... No kiss until the third date, and each time I was worried/confused.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Oh, good. So why don't you think you got the same enthusiasm as before? Do you think he was playing it 'cool' this time? Or something else? The enthusiasm was the same, just different. I'm definitely over-thinking this. Beyond the kiss, I'm wondering why he didn't offer to walk me to my car. He did the first time...
crude Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I wouldnt ask him out. I'd wait to see if he asked you out. Only because in my experience if a guy doesn't kiss you OR go to the effort to nail you down for a date (vague 'we should do this again sometimes' don't count), it means he is not very interested. If he contacts you and asks you out, at least you know he's interested and not just going along for the ride. If he doesn't, you have your answer. No one ever seems to look at it from the man's point of view. How is HE supposed to know if SHE'S interested in him if she doesn't really contribute to the relationship in any way. He asks her out, pays the bill, and is expected to gauge how far he should go physically. It's like the woman isn't even there. All he knows about her is that she's willing to accept a man's attention and free food and wine. Boy, what a goddess blessing a man with her presence. Why can't a woman say something, do something, pay for something and show him that she's not just along for the free ride.
Babolat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 (edited) Tons of lively conversation (per usual), he picked our wine and our dinners (perfect!), quickly grabbed the check, made slight references to places we can go in the future... but the date ended with a kiss on the cheek followed by a bear hug outside the front of the restaurant, and him saying, "Let me know if you want to do it again." I'd hoped he'd walk me to my car and we'd do the awkward "are ya gonna kiss me, or not?" dance, ultimately ending with a smoochie smooch, but no dice! He is a total gentleman though (and I'd told him about the last guy who sent me cock shots, so he might be acting on his best behavior right now...?)... I texted him when I got home to thank him again and let him know what a good time I had, and he responded in kind... so, we'll see? But no kiss at the end makes me go Am I being ridiculous? Well, I always walk a women to her car, especially if it's dark outside. And I would no say "Let me know..." Kind of wimpy in my opinion for him to say this. I typically do not kiss a women on the first date either unless I feel it from her. Just me though. Has this 3rd date occurred yet? And, from your pics and how your personality comes thru on here, I would have moved in for a kiss on the 2nd date! Edited August 22, 2013 by Babolat 1
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