BUBS Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I've spent most of my time on the break up forum undergoing pain from my ex fiance leaving me 10 months ago. But I have a serious dilemma. I began talking to a friend of mine a few weeks ago romantically. Since then we have been inseparable. I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship, that I'm not ready. I'm a grown woman, and so I thought it was kind of odd after several weeks when we began to kiss and he didnt bother to make out but I figured he was nervous because hes always had a thing for me. Today he randomly started talking about how he hates making out, that in all the girls he slept with (a lot) he's only made out with like 5. I feel shallow in saying this but I can't fathom how its possible to sleep with someone without that involved? Its beyond me. I've asked other friends and family and everyone says they have never heard of it in their lives! Should I walk away now or try to give this a chance? I don't think I am comfortable with being with someone that cant turn me on and I don't think its possible to turn me on without that involved. In the same respect I don't think even if he was willing to make out that I would enjoy it now that I know he doesn't. This whole thing feels so juvenile but I need suggestions... what the hell is going on here?
SugarLips72 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 How do you sleep with scores of women and only make out with 5? A guy who does not love to kiss I would not waste one minute of my time on. How do you have good sex without hot and heavy making out? Sounds weird. I am sure he is not worthy of you as a lover. You sound way too good for him. 3
Author BUBS Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Thats what I don't get?! He is super affectionate... I've known him a long time and its so weird because girls are nuts about him, constantly calling him for booty calls and what not... and I mean these girls are stunning. For me I couldnt imagine if I was drunk and looking to have sex going through my phone and hitting up a dude that wont get hot and heavy in the kissing department dont care how good you are in bed... how the hell are you going to get the panties to drop with pecking? He said that its usually awkward and more or less not necessary in his eyes when I asked him how the hell that was possible. He continued by saying that its the same thing without the slobber, and I told him that pecking kisses screams cuddle me, whereas french kisses scream "**** me hard" they are there to differentiate the scenario. His response? That you can tell when its about that time because of biting, pulling on the shirt, etc. Yea thats all good and dandy but without making out it seems ridiculous! It sucks, he adores me, and I really enjoy his company... I just feel so creeped out by the whole thing. 2
violetsareviolet Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 a sexual relationship with someone doesn't end in the bedroom. kissing is a form of foreplay; a brief hello or goodbye until the next time you get primal with each other. PDA is one thing, but not liking to kiss in private is just odd. sounds like he has baggage you don't want to deal with...find a mature dude, there's a lot of us out there. seriously wtf, kissing is rad. 3
Miss_raptor Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 My ex hated to make out. It was pretty hard on me, since I love kissing. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me, when it was really just a sexual comparability issue. I'd walk, especially after dealing with it once. Compatibility in the bedroom is a big deal for healthy relationships.
Els Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 If he was just the type to go slow rather than making out right away, I'm fine with that. On the other hand, sex without any sort of making out would just feel cheap to me. 1
Author BUBS Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Thanks for all of the advice, it seems everyone's on the same page as me.
Arabella Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Some men are actually very awkward about kissing. My fiance had the most terrible aversion to kissing when I met him. Never kissed before the first time we ended up in bed together, at which point I got tired of the nonsense and waiting for him to do it, and just started kissing him. Afterwards, he would continue avoiding it. He even told me that he wouldn't kiss me if he didn't feel like sex for fear I may get the wrong idea LOL. It took a good 6 mo for him to warm up to the idea of kissing. Now he does it, initiates it and seems to enjoy it... but damn it was weird at first.
Recommended Posts