BLo7687 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Wow it's been 8 months since the BU. Seriously where did time go?! Feels like it's been a slow process. We broke up in Dec. but the break up didn't really hit me until March. Looking back, it was definitely a lesson learned. I was always taking him for granted for over 2 years, never gave him a full commitment on the future (he was leaving to the military), and treated him like crap at times. Things I regret and should of done. I wasn't a bad girlfriend but I should of been a better girlfriend. I knew one day I'd regret losing him and losing him definitely makes me want to appreciate my next relationship. But it was partially his fault too as he did a lot of messed up things in the end. Anyways I been feeling much better lately since I went NC in June as opposed to during the 3-5 month mark, I felt like I was dying inside. I really should of went NC a long time ago! I still think about him daily and miss him but I feel like it's only because I haven't found anyone else yet and at times it gets lonely. Last time we spoke in June, I had told him we needed to stop talking for awhile because he was bringing back up old feelings/breadcrumbing me and it wasn't fair to me or his girlfriend (he started dating someone quickly after we broke up and he still with her). Of course he disagreed and tried to talk me out of it. I told him he should only contact me if it's something important or an emergency. Told him I would not block him in any social media but it's best that we should stop talking. At times I still look but have gotten use to the pictures of him and his gf. Heard he still talks about me on Twitter at times or sounds like it's a subtweet about me according to my friends. Anyways I have gotten like 4 breadcrumbs for him the last month and have ignored them all. Last night I get a text from him. I haven't heard from him in over a month and I haven't talk to him in 2 months. He texted me saying "This will be my last message I ever send. I know we shouldn't talk and you obviously wanted this. Just want to say that I hope you're doing good and I have no grudges. I really hope you're happy and live a great life. You'll never hear from me again. Just take care, you always had a good heart." I'm sure he just wanted to get a reaction from me. These messages are not anything important so I ignored it. Sometimes I have this urge to break contact but I'm so far gone now that I don't want to look back. It's almost like I'm scared to respond back or talk to him. Never thought things would turn out the way they did this year. Didn't think it would be a struggle but all I could do is move forward. 1
Author BLo7687 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Wow after feeling a little bit better I just found out he got engaged. I knew everything I predicted would turn out to be true. I had a feeling that last message meant something big. I always knew he was on a timeline. I really don't know what to say. I feel kind of numb now. ****ing life LOL
Soat Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Wow after feeling a little bit better I just found out he got engaged. I knew everything I predicted would turn out to be true. I had a feeling that last message meant something big. I always knew he was on a timeline. I really don't know what to say. I feel kind of numb now. ****ing life LOL Facebook sucks. Defriend or at least remove him from your newsfeed
Author BLo7687 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 I'm definitely crying my eyes out today and I haven't cried about him in awhile. FML.
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