clairedunham Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 He dumped me 2 days ago. Weve been tgether for 1 year and 11 months. Said he was sick of me. Said I am never going to change. I have depression issues and paranoia. He is right in leaving me. But of course I acted needy and desperate. I have to stop. He told me he was my certainty and would never let me go. First he tells me "maybe we should take a break" because he was depressed and wasn't himself anymore ( he is going through financial and family issues) But i know there's more to it than that.I told him to be honest with me "do you love me?" He said "no" He says I'm never gonna change and I need help. He wont speak to me whatsoever and is mad at me for trying to contact him all the time. It feels like my hurts is caving and I just want to rip it out of my body. He is still the love of my life. He said I was his but my insecurities and anger drove him away. I am gettin help. I need to get him back no matter WHAT!. I don't know if the NC rule would work for me. He is 23 and I am 25 btw. How could yo go from going head over heels for someone and then nothing else matters? How? He told me he was going to marry and have kids with me. I believe him and ate it up. He told me its over and that's it. I guess I deserve it for never trusting him and he got sick of it. But I still have hope and need help and advice on what to do because I suck at this. :(
barky2 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I'm sorry for the pain your going thru. It actually sounds like you both are going thru alot. You both need some time away. Nc isn't about getting someone else back, its about getting yourself back. Take some time to focus on what went wrong and what you need to change. And respect him enough to leave him alone for awhile. Hell contact you when your ready. Barky
Author clairedunham Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Facebook tells me he reads all those messages I send him. I sent him a message 3 minutes ago and he read it. I don't have him of facebook but it still says "Seen (hours:min)" . It makes me think he cares about what I have to say. He hasn't blocked me and trust me I've been sending him A LOT! of messages and he reads them all. Man FB is such a stalkers page. I wish I had the strenghts to ignore him but I don't. I feel like I might faint of I do. I know he'll contact me but Im afraid he'll contact me just to see how I am and not care at all. I fear if I let time pass by he wont wanna get back with me.
Author clairedunham Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I'm sorry for the pain your going thru. It actually sounds like you both are going thru alot. You both need some time away. Nc isn't about getting someone else back, its about getting yourself back. Take some time to focus on what went wrong and what you need to change. And respect him enough to leave him alone for awhile. Hell contact you when your ready. Barky I read how you pursued your ex for a year and got her back. That's nice to hear. You didn't give up on her and fought for her. I hope my ex boyfriend will realize what a great relationship we had. He was my best friend. Thanks for the advice.
barky2 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I read how you pursued your ex for a year and got her back. That's nice to hear. You didn't give up on her and fought for her. I hope my ex boyfriend will realize what a great relationship we had. He was my best friend. Thanks for the advice. I'm going to be blunt, so bare with me here I got her back by LEAVING HER ALONE AND FOCUSING ON ME. You need to LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE. Go NC. Not for him, but for yourself. It works wonders Barky 2
Emilia Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I have depression issues and paranoia. I'm very sorry to hear about this. Would you elaborate on the paranoia please.
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Claire. Barky is right...you need to focus on yourself and stop contacting him and stalking him. You look disparate and it will push him further away. You should contact your family doctor or psychiatrist to see if you need an adjustment to your meds during this stressful time. Your normal dose will not work when under additional stress. You need to just stop. Give yourself some time, give him time to miss you. Work on yourself. 1
Author clairedunham Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 My paranoia is me always asking him if he is cheating if there's someone else etc etc. Its horrible. I think he is really done with me. I'm gonna write you a letter he wrote me on our anniversary last year. He tells me I'm the love of his life, his beautiful girl and his world. He tells me he cant even explain the happiness I have brought to his life and that loving me is the best feeling in the world. That I am something else. He tells me he wants us to have the best r/s ever and always be there for each other through it all. He tells me I have him always throughout the ups and downs he'll be my certainty. Tells me he loves me and hopes there will be more anniversaries to spend with each other. All of this and I lost it. I lost it. It is true Barky. I have to NC him. It is so difficult when you think they are really done with you but I have to give it a try 1
Ireallydontknow Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 He doesn't love you. He doesn't want to be with you. Quit sending messages to him. What you are doing is PUSHINGGGGGGG him way farther away. Go take a walk. When I get obsessed like that I have a few go to friends or I'll work out. If you do have issue, get help with them. Get back with him now? Guess what you'll just break up again. Get back with him when the issues are worked out? You might have a chance...
Author clairedunham Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 He doesn't love you. He doesn't want to be with you. Quit sending messages to him. What you are doing is PUSHINGGGGGGG him way farther away. Go take a walk. When I get obsessed like that I have a few go to friends or I'll work out. If you do have issue, get help with them. Get back with him now? Guess what you'll just break up again. Get back with him when the issues are worked out? You might have a chance... You don't know that but I will stop pushing. Our r/s was rare and Ill never forget it.
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