swandive83 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Why do we still hold on when our logical minds understand that we have been "left" (whether it was for someone else, or not)? Or still think about them ALL DAY LONG even though they are not suitable partners for us (if they were suitable and right for us, they would still be ... with... us... right? Why do we go a little crazy when we think they've moved on? It is over, isn't it? Like getting fired from a job... did we really think no one else would get hired for the job after us? I just don't understand it. I can be so rational (thank God, because that is probably the only thing stopping me from contacting him), yet I ruminate constantly and constantly wonder what he's doing, thinking, saying. And it's sad because he probably never thinks about me... or does he? Wish I knew. Any clues, anyone?
Soat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Why do we still hold on when our logical minds understand that we have been "left" (whether it was for someone else, or not)? Or still think about them ALL DAY LONG even though they are not suitable partners for us (if they were suitable and right for us, they would still be ... with... us... right? Why do we go a little crazy when we think they've moved on? It is over, isn't it? Like getting fired from a job... did we really think no one else would get hired for the job after us? I just don't understand it. I can be so rational (thank God, because that is probably the only thing stopping me from contacting him), yet I ruminate constantly and constantly wonder what he's doing, thinking, saying. And it's sad because he probably never thinks about me... or does he? Wish I knew. Any clues, anyone? Your brain is addicted and wants its fix. 1
Jenny1234 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 It's like a major addiction. I am going through this right now. And I have been here before a few times. It never gets easier!
Author swandive83 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Soat - So how do we end the addiction? Replacement possibly? Don't understand what about him I would be addicted to? He was an ego-centric narcissist. Jenny - Oh no. It never gets any easier? I need to stop ruminating over this idiot.... and fast.
JDPT Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Google "your brain on a breakup" you will see empirical data which explains how our brains respond and adapt to love which is very similar to crack, cocaine, heroin whatever floats your boat. During a breakup we no longer have the drug, we deprive our bodies of pure rapture which love bring us every living second of our lives with our exes. The excruciating pain in either your chest or stomach has also scientific explanations which correlates to a love lost also known as breakup. We are all "drug addicts" going through recovery cold turkey. We yearn for our love/drug and wish to have just one more "hit" of it. LS would be the equivalent of AA, we are all hear to support each other and deviate your thoughts from acting on them against your better judgment. It's a long process with many ups and downs, some commit to NC and some relapse, however, it's the lesson we learn from this life experience that makes our shortcomings valuable. 4
Soat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Soat - So how do we end the addiction? Replacement possibly? Don't understand what about him I would be addicted to? He was an ego-centric narcissist. Jenny - Oh no. It never gets any easier? I need to stop ruminating over this idiot.... and fast. Time and will power. Just repeat that its brain addiction that will recover, accept he will be in your thoughts for some time, and when he is in your thoughts force your mind to clear. Hard core exercise regime will help (endorphin rush is so helpful)
Dumped85 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I was going to ask something similar, can you still heal from a break up while having a little faith they may come back ?
LoveIs Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I was going to ask something similar, can you still heal from a break up while having a little faith they may come back ? I don't know. But I'm in the same boat right there with you. Sucks.
JDPT Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I was going to ask something similar, can you still heal from a break up while having a little faith they may come back ? Absolutely not, one must gracefully release hope from its delusional captivity and watch it go for it to never return. Then you can fully heal your wounds and enjoy life again. 1
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