How Do I Handle This Situation?

[Tk123]

Hey all. The situation I'm in comes with a bit of background info so please bare with me here. I'll try to make it as not confusing as possible.

 

I am 19 year old male and currently moved to a new town. The town I moved to coincidentally has quite a few girls my age. However, there are two girls in-particularly that I've just started talking to. I'll label them as "Girl A" and "Girl B" to make it as easy to follow.

 

Girl A is my next-door neighbor. I met her while I was building the house that I am currently moved into. She would stop by every so often and say hello but really never contacted me outside of that.

 

Girl B is a pretty close friend of Girl A. They hang out every so often and I've gotten to meet her a couple of times in passing.

 

I took it in my own hands and added both Girl A and B on Facebook, and shortly after I started up a conversation with Girl B. She is the one I am attracted to and he one that I'm really interested in. We eventually exchanged numbers and had a date planned a couple weeks ago.

 

Last minute, Girl B cancelled on me and basically stood me up. We tried to arrange another date but that fell through too. I basically got the vibe that she wasn't interested in me.

 

A couple of weeks past, and I get a text message out of the blue from Girl A. Keep in mind I never really had any feelings for this girl, however she is very friendly and nice. We start going back and forth and before I know it she starts openly admitting to me that she always that I was cute and admits her attraction to me. One thing led to another, and we now have plans to hangout this weekend. She is basically going to show me around town since I really have no idea where anything is in this new town.

 

Once again I'll repeat that I don't really have any feelings for this girl however, she keeps telling me how excited she is to hangout this weekend and she appears to be very clingy with me; initating all the contact we have with each other.

 

I know Girl A and Girl B talk to each other about me behind my back. Girl A admitted to me that she has told Girl B in the past how attractive she thought I was and that she's so excited to hang with me. I know Girl B is aware of what's going on and she even told Girl A to go for it.

 

I am at the point where I don't know what to do anymore. My true feelings are for Girl B however, she plays very very hard to get and I get the vibe that the reason she hasn't been really talking to me is because her friend (Girl A) wants to be with me.

 

So now I have plans this weekend with Girl A and I don't know what to do or how to handle it. She has jokingly mentioned about getting physical and I don't even know if I feel that way about her. As I've mentioned before I want to be with Girl B but I'm not really getting the feeling that she feels the same way. Girl A has also told me that Girl B has always gone after the guys that she goes after and that their friendship is beginning to fade however, I do not see Girl B trying to go for me.

 

This is where I need your help. Girl A is getting so hyped up about this weekend, while I'm looking at it as just hanging out as friends and showing me around town. I feel like if I reject Girl A, my chances of getting with Girl B and meeting other girls around town is going to be rough.

 

Girl A and Girl B are both going to college this year. Girl A leaves in a couple weeks, she is going to be living away at school. Girl B is going to community college around town and will probably be around.

 

At this point I don't know what to do. I'm not going to cancel on Girl A at this point as I really do want to hang out, but just as friends. I don't want to break the news to her that I'm not looking for a relationship with her. First of all I just got out of a long-distance relationship and second of all I'm not even that attracted to her. I've already introduced myself to Girl A's parents and I have a feeling that they like me.

 

Basically, I'm scared if I do anything to affect Girl A and make her upset (telling her how I truly feel), I'm going to not be liked by quite a few people in town. Especially her and her parents. This sucks because I just moved into town too and everyone around town thinks I'm a nice and good looking guy.

 

I'm so clueless how to handle this situation and would appreciate any insights or thoughts you all had for me. I would also like some thoughts on why you think Girl B is playing so hard to get. Girl A has told me in passing that Girl B likes to play with guys heads and ditch them however, that's not stopping me from going after this girl. Last time I tried texting Girl B I noticed she read my message and never responded back. That was almost a month ago. I could really use some help and once again appreciate any responses I can get.

[Faith13/2]

I think that Girl B may have not gone out with you because she knew that Girl A liked you. If they are friends this can very well be the case. It could also be that Girl B just isn't interested, but I don't see why she would initially accept your date offer if she didn't intend on going.

 

I say you go out with Girl A as you have planned. You never know, maybe once you hang out with her one on one you may find yourself more attracted to her, maybe not though. Either way enjoy your time.

 

As you said Girl A will be going away for college, maybe once Girl A is away Girl B may seem more interested. All depends if her initial reasons for cancelling were because of Girl A. Only time will tell.

[Eivuwan]

Do you really want to be with someone who plays games?

[Tk123]

I think that Girl B may have not gone out with you because she knew that Girl A liked you. If they are friends this can very well be the case. It could also be that Girl B just isn't interested, but I don't see why she would initially accept your date offer if she didn't intend on going.

 

I say you go out with Girl A as you have planned. You never know, maybe once you hang out with her one on one you may find yourself more attracted to her, maybe not though. Either way enjoy your time.

 

As you said Girl A will be going away for college, maybe once Girl A is away Girl B may seem more interested. All depends if her initial reasons for cancelling were because of Girl A. Only time will tell.

 

 

This seems like the best thing I can do at this point.. In my attempts to hangout with Girl B, she told me that she was excited to hang out with me as well however she has gone completely AWOL and has just ignored the past couple of texts I sent her a couple of weeks ago.

 

In your attempts to let Girl A down easy you're just going to let her down harder. I wouldn't even want her showing me around town if I wasn't into her and felt like she was coming onto me. Just hit on girl B hardcore and don't worry about girl A's parents.

 

 

I know if I keep leading Girl A on like this I'm only going to let her down harder but I can't just completely ditch her, I'm not that kind of guy. My true feelings are for Girl B but as I mentioned previously she is playing very hard to get with.

 

 

I just moved to this town and am already having girl issues here. I was expecting I'd get to know more people around here before I started mingling with these girls. It really does suck, I'm trying to not hurt anyone's feelings around here.

[Tk123]

So today Girl A panicked when I didn't respond to her text for a few hours cause I was busy.. She said she thought I hated her for not responding right away.

 

She's so clingy and it's really turning me off but I really don't want to ruin my chances of getting to meet Girl B again through her.

 

I feel selfish for being like this but at the same time I don't want to hurt Girl A's feelings as she appears to be really into me..

[Tk123]

Last night before I went to bed, Girl A called me good looking and handsome.. I don't like where this is going at all and could use some more advice :/

[Kamille]

You need to tell Girl A you're not interested. There is no easy way to do this. A simple: I'm not interested in you that way will suffice.

 

Then you need to start looking for Girl C.

[GG3]

You need to tell Girl A you're not interested. There is no easy way to do this. A simple: I'm not interested in you that way will suffice.

 

Then you need to start looking for Girl C.

 

I agree. How fun can letting her show you around be? You could just cancel with a lame excuse for now. When she starts texting you to death later maybe there will be an opening to tell her you just want to be friends.

[Ninjainpajamas]

The less you say and the longer, the bigger hole you're going to dig yourself into...seems like they had a friendly conversation between the girls and girl A likes you and wants to pursue you (or girl B found out how interested she was and backed off)..even if girl B is interested, however if she's the better looking one she probably has men pursuing her over girl A so she's kind of peeling off for her friend.

 

But just be honest with girl A, tell her that you'd really like to hang out and get to know the town and love to have her as a friend but you were admittedly interested in her friend. She's leaving to college in a few weeks anyway, a lot of guys would just take a stab at it because it's easy and that comes with a low-risk/high-reward situation because you already know she's interested so it's all down hill from there, but that'll bite you in the butt because once you do that the girl B would be more likely to be completely out of the situation unless you played your cards right...which at 19 you probably don't, older guys than you though would try to juggle this to get a two for one deal.

 

But I'd just say play it safe, the girl lives next door too, she might be back once in a while and just be honest...don't create any waves or drama, just because she likes you doesn't mean you've got to do anything because of it...you can take the easy road and try to lie or skate around it or just be direct about how you feel and save yourself a lot of potential problems and it might even work out better for you in the end...likely will.

[Tk123]

You need to tell Girl A you're not interested. There is no easy way to do this. A simple: I'm not interested in you that way will suffice.

 

Then you need to start looking for Girl C.

 

Believe me I wish I could find Girl C and get out! Lol like I said I just moved here.. I didn't expect things to go this fast.

 

I agree. How fun can letting her show you around be? You could just cancel with a lame excuse for now. When she starts texting you to death later maybe there will be an opening to tell her you just want to be friends.

 

I'm tempted to give this a try but it sounds like she's told all of her friends and family how excited she is to hang out. I'm really gonna have a bad rep up there if I do something like that.

 

The less you say and the longer, the bigger hole you're going to dig yourself into...seems like they had a friendly conversation between the girls and girl A likes you and wants to pursue you (or girl B found out how interested she was and backed off)..even if girl B is interested, however if she's the better looking one she probably has men pursuing her over girl A so she's kind of peeling off for her friend.

 

But just be honest with girl A, tell her that you'd really like to hang out and get to know the town and love to have her as a friend but you were admittedly interested in her friend. She's leaving to college in a few weeks anyway, a lot of guys would just take a stab at it because it's easy and that comes with a low-risk/high-reward situation because you already know she's interested so it's all down hill from there, but that'll bite you in the butt because once you do that the girl B would be more likely to be completely out of the situation unless you played your cards right...which at 19 you probably don't, older guys than you though would try to juggle this to get a two for one deal.

 

But I'd just say play it safe, the girl lives next door too, she might be back once in a while and just be honest...don't create any waves or drama, just because she likes you doesn't mean you've got to do anything because of it...you can take the easy road and try to lie or skate around it or just be direct about how you feel and save yourself a lot of potential problems and it might even work out better for you in the end...likely will.

 

I agree with you...Part of me wants to strike up a conversation with Girl B. I'm sure she would respond to me if I mention Girl A. I don't know how I would go about doing it though. Like I said I know Girl A talks to B about me.

[Tk123]

So the topic finally came up and Girl A asked me if I like her as a friend or more than that... My response to her was:

 

"We didn't get to hang out yet, let's give it a chance first" I tried being as polite and nice as possible as it's true we didn't get to hang out yet, our plans were for tomorrow.

 

Her response to me was a short "whatever" in abbreviations. I can tell she's pissed off now and I don't know what to do. I don't know if that means our plans for Saturday are now cancelled or what I should do in this situation..

 

Part of me wants to text Girl B and ask her what's going on because I'm sure she knows a lot more than I do when it comes to this girl and her feelings for me. Does this sound like a bad idea?

[MidwestUSA]

Do NOT contact girl B to talk about girl A! No! Girl A sounds like a major clinger. I was going to say give it a shot and let her show you around, up until I read about her already creating needless drama! Pissed of because you didn't respond fast enough? Assuming you hate her? Ugh.

[Kamille]

Believe me I wish I could find Girl C and get out! Lol like I said I just moved here.. I didn't expect things to go this fast.

 

 

 

 

Get out of what?

 

You just moved there. You should be meeting as many people as possible, not committing to a friendship you already find tedious.

 

Girl C, who is the only viable candidate, is somewhere out there. The longer you hang on to whatever drama these girls have going on, the longer you delay meeting Girl C.

[Tk123]

Do NOT contact girl B to talk about girl A! No! Girl A sounds like a major clinger. I was going to say give it a shot and let her show you around, up until I read about her already creating needless drama! Pissed of because you didn't respond fast enough? Assuming you hate her? Ugh.

 

Yup and now she's pissed cause I told her let's give things a chance first before we start talking about liking each other.. We never even got to hangout together once yet and she's already a major clinger by the looks of it.

 

I won't say anything to girl B I guess but like I said I figure she knows more than I do when it comes to girl A and how shes feeling about me.

 

Get out of what?

 

You just moved there. You should be meeting as many people as possible, not committing to a friendship you already find tedious.

 

Girl C, who is the only viable candidate, is somewhere out there. The longer you hang on to whatever drama these girls have going on, the longer you delay meeting Girl C.

 

I agree it is very tedious. Girl A reminds me of my ex who was also overly clingy.

 

I want to drop the drama.. I told girl A how it is, how we shouldn't rush into things especially with her going away to college in a couple of weeks. And now all I get back is a "whatever" and shortly after that "i'll talk to you later goodbye".

 

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO HANG with this girl tomorrow. She's a complete wackjob and it's driving me nuts however, I know she is pretty well known in this town and I' sure she'll give me a bad rep for rejecting her.

[GG3]

No No Noooooooooooooooo!

 

You gotta be straight up and honest with her. If you are nice about it and open I don't think she will be as mad as you think. I've done this sort of stuff before and you got to nip it in the bud quick or it just grows. Your anxiety grows, their anxiety grows and next thing you know you are being told off, lol.

[Kamille]

 

I know she is pretty well known in this town and I' sure she'll give me a bad rep for rejecting her.

 

The great thing about adults is that they are completely capable of forming their own opinion. Do what is best for you, end things as respectfully as you can with Girl A and trust that you will meet people who are better suited as friends for you.

 

Not to mention, I would think less of a friend who spent their time with me badmouthing someone I don't know. Also, she might not want to advertise to the world that she got rejected. There's a small chance she might try to give you a bad rep, but really, that would look poorly on her, not you.