365daysgone Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I'm really at a loss of what to do. I just want an opportunity to meet people. I've read threads on this explaining how I meet people and really the general consensus I got from those was that its seemingly impossible. School and work seem like the only viable options. The online dating thing is a complete joke so scratch that. I'm sitting on a bench in the small mall strip tonight and a nice looking girl is walking towards the doors. I catch her looking at me twice and so as she goes through the first set of doors, I figure **** it and look at her and she is still looking at me. How the hell do I make a move here? Run out the door and say hi to her? I just want to talk to a girl! And meet some. I'm not even wanting a relationship. Just to befriend one. Should I really sign up for an art class hoping to meet some? It can't be this difficult.
Sweetgirl28 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Sounds like you're desperate. No offense though. Why is it that you don't have female friends?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 How can I be desperate when I just want to talk and get to know people and that's all that I am looking for? I have no female friends probably because i am uncomfortable around girls...which is what I am trying to solve.
Lansing Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Do you have male friends? Suggest checking out Meetup.com for different outings (not the "singles" outings necessarily), what about volunteering for an organization that you are interested in (again, not just to meet people).
Sweetgirl28 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Why are you uncomfortable around girls? Were you in bad relationships before?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I have no male friends. I screwed myself with being quiet when I was younger. Now sitting at 24, it's...good luck. I've tried meetup. Nothing but haunted house things and yoga. I RSVPed to a yoga one in September. I paid $20 to start my own social anxiety group. No one has joined yet. I have sent an email to the local humane society to volunteer about a week ago and got an email yesterday saying it is being forwarded to the appropriate person. So as you can see, I am doing everything possible to meet people. I understand it may take time, but I just feel like I am not getting anywhere. I haven't even had an opportunity to talk with anyone.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Why are you uncomfortable around girls? Were you in bad relationships before? Social anxiety. I'm uncomfortable around anyone I don't know, but girls ... It's a whole other level. I've never been in a relationship before.
white Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 You know you've been told in previous threads. I feel for you, but it's something you can only fix yourself. Try meetup. Stay away from dating/singles groups, focus on what you can do, keep it local (unless there's something awesome worth going a bit further for) and most importantly drag your ass to it, they won't eat you. A bit of judicious checking of the male/female attendance ratio for events doesn't hurt anyone, half of them'll do the same.
MrRightNow Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Why can't you meet anyone at school? Talk to people in your classes, at the library, or people hanging out outside. Focus on making new friends first, both guys and girls. Join a club or play sports at the school gym. Meeting new people will only get harder after you graduate, so make the most of your college experience.
Sweetgirl28 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Have you tried taking a cooking class? That might be a good place to meet women. I honestly don't know much about social anxiety. There have been points in my life where I didn't really talk to people due to a depression and eating disorder but traveling and volunteering abroad definitely helped. Also, teaching and speaking in front of a group on a regular basis helped me to gain my self-confidence back. I feel mentally healthier than ever but still single.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Why can't you meet anyone at school? Talk to people in your classes, at the library, or people hanging out outside. Focus on making new friends first, both guys and girls. Join a club or play sports at the school gym. Meeting new people will only get harder after you graduate, so make the most of your college experience. I'm not in school though. I just mean that thatnis a good place to meet people...unfortunetely that time has passed me by. I must thank you all on this forum though. I get better advice on here than on the social anxiety forums. People are sarcastic and unwilling to help anyone over there so thank you all on this forum. You guys actually give advice here! 1
Skyraider829 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Hi 365, I hope you aren't being too tough on yourself. Lookie here now my friend, it isn't easy being a loner. I know not having any friends sucks. All of my friends are nowhere near me, they're about 1,500 to 3,000 miles away. You want to get to know a girl? Go up and talk to one. The situation in the strip mall you described seemed perfect. Some girl, somewhere, would probably like it if a nice guy approached her just to engage in friendly talk. You need to seize the opportunity when it presents itself. You can't let it pass by all the time. I don't want to sound relentless, but did you text your swimming instructor?
FitChick Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I agree with the suggestions to take a cooking class. I took a flower arranging class and it was straight women and gay men. You'd have all the girls to yourself! Take ballroom or salsa dancing classes. They always need extra men. That is how someone on here, who could never meet women, got his current girlfriend. Any class where you need a partner to do something or where you have to show classmates what you have made. As opposed to sitting and listening to someone drone on and on. There are charity walks you can do like for breast cancer (lots of women there).
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