Csmith224422 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Here’s the basics of our relationship: We went out for 6-7 months and things went really fast. During our entire relationship, she talked about marriage, kids, and we had plans to move in together in the fall. We were over each other’s places almost every day. And she even made me tell my mom about her (I've never told my mom about the women I’ve dated). We’re both 28, but this was the first person I ever envisioned a future with. When she started seeing me, she had just broken up with her ex-boyfriend (or so I thought) Now, when she broke up with me a month ago, she told me she just needed time and space and didn’t want to be with anyone at the moment. And that’s when I found out the lies through some basic investigation: 1) She didn’t break up with her ex-boyfriend for the first month her and I were together. She later broke up with him to be with me. She just lied to me and told me she broke up with him initially because she knew that I wouldn’t go out with her if she was still in relationship. 2) She had pre-planned trip with her ex that I knew about (they planned this months before her and I were together). While we were together she told me changed the flight/trip to go somewhere else but I recently found out through Facebook that she did in fact go on that trip with him and only broke up with him after she came back. 3) After she broke up with him, her ex kept on trying to get back with her and began seeing both of us for the last month her and I were together. So I confirmed all these lies with the ex himself. I spoke to him over the phone and told him about my relationship with her. When I called her out on this, she told me her ex was a liar and that she’s still in love with me and that she didn’t go on that trip with him and that her ex is just trying to hurt me. When I told her I saw the pictures of their trip together she admitted to it. The whole situation is a mess and I know she’s not good for me. But for some reason, I still feel all this love for her and I know I should hate her for what she did to me. We spoke 2 weeks ago because she called me and she said she's no longer seeing her ex-bf and they broke up and she has issues. She's trying to get her ex out of her life she said. I don't know if she wants anything with me... I know I should move on but I still love her. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.
barky2 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Don't give her anything...not even a doubt. Sorry man, but you were a rebound..she jumps from.branch to branch. That's why she started seeing you while with him, then went back to him, now contacting you again. He's not going anywhere anytime soon...and that's a harsh reality. Go nc . Maybe in a year or so, but not anytime soon will it work. Believe me man, been there. Barky
Soat Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Here’s the basics of our relationship: We went out for 6-7 months and things went really fast. During our entire relationship, she talked about marriage, kids, and we had plans to move in together in the fall. We were over each other’s places almost every day. And she even made me tell my mom about her (I've never told my mom about the women I’ve dated). We’re both 28, but this was the first person I ever envisioned a future with. When she started seeing me, she had just broken up with her ex-boyfriend (or so I thought) Now, when she broke up with me a month ago, she told me she just needed time and space and didn’t want to be with anyone at the moment. And that’s when I found out the lies through some basic investigation: 1) She didn’t break up with her ex-boyfriend for the first month her and I were together. She later broke up with him to be with me. She just lied to me and told me she broke up with him initially because she knew that I wouldn’t go out with her if she was still in relationship. 2) She had pre-planned trip with her ex that I knew about (they planned this months before her and I were together). While we were together she told me changed the flight/trip to go somewhere else but I recently found out through Facebook that she did in fact go on that trip with him and only broke up with him after she came back. 3) After she broke up with him, her ex kept on trying to get back with her and began seeing both of us for the last month her and I were together. So I confirmed all these lies with the ex himself. I spoke to him over the phone and told him about my relationship with her. When I called her out on this, she told me her ex was a liar and that she’s still in love with me and that she didn’t go on that trip with him and that her ex is just trying to hurt me. When I told her I saw the pictures of their trip together she admitted to it. The whole situation is a mess and I know she’s not good for me. But for some reason, I still feel all this love for her and I know I should hate her for what she did to me. We spoke 2 weeks ago because she called me and she said she's no longer seeing her ex-bf and they broke up and she has issues. She's trying to get her ex out of her life she said. I don't know if she wants anything with me... I know I should move on but I still love her. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. These are troubled people who do the "shopping for a new partner" before breaking up with the old one. Stay far away from people like this, it says a LOT about their character. She definitely has issues. YOu're better off!
Mangledmess Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 A lot of people can't be alone. They find someone before leaving someone else. I wouldn't give her the time of day at the moment. If her and her ex did break up then the only way she will see that she made a mistake with you is if you tell her to kick rocks or no contact. 1
JDPT Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 As you stated she is not good for you or anyone else, it's simply in her demeanor to be conniving and deceiving. Look at it this way, you dodged a bullet with this girl, she is definitely a piece of work. You have feelings for her because you are a human being, you genuinely fell in love for her but sadly she did not reciprocate. Don't give her absolutely anything, remain cold stone NC, save yourself future grief and start healing. 2
Author Csmith224422 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I know she doesn't doesn't deserve my love but I still really care about her. And I felt what we had was real. Even her ex told me that she told him that she really did want to marry me and be with me and was madly in love with me but just that they had been together for so long. He said that marriage and kids are really important to her and she knows that he will never give that to her. Which I thought was really messed up of him to pursue her if he doesn't want the same things in life. When I spoke to her she told me that he promised her change and commit but she knows that he's not the one for him and she has issues because she feels emotionally connected to him but is trying to leave him and distance herself from him. I mean I really care about. I don't want to regret anything in life and I don't want to regret the possibility to make it work. I've been distancing myself from her and have not spoken to her in a while. If I still lover her and want this to work, what do I need to do?
Joaquin Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 (edited) Id say u were and are being totally manipulated by this little bitch. Yr perhaps in love with the idea of finding love and have rounded on this sneaky little bitch as the one. She's not the one. She's a liar. A sneak. She knows she has u by the balls. She does not love u. Love isnt this. U start being honest with yourself. Then what u need to do will become obvious. Edited August 22, 2013 by Joaquin
Author Csmith224422 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I still care about her so very much. Do I walk away and o NC or do I stay around. I feel like this could work. I know what we felt was real. She was just with that guy for such a long time.
barky2 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I still care about her so very much. Do I walk away and o NC or do I stay around. I feel like this could work. I know what we felt was real. She was just with that guy for such a long time. Re-read my first post on your thread. Let it sink in. Re-read it again. If you want any chance with this girl ull disappear and let her find out the hard way. But even then, she might come back to you for a short time before she jumps ship to someone else. Id say move the f on. Barky
Author Csmith224422 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 I know I should just disappear but sometimes I think out of sight and out of her mind. I think she would be open to the idea of meeting with me for coffee. I know of she saw me those feelings would come back. I think I may ask to meet for a cup of coffee and see what happens. If she doesn't want to, I'll leave her alone. I just want to give it one last shot and not regret anything.
Author Csmith224422 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 It's just that I think about her all the time
Author Csmith224422 Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 Guys - what do I do? She used to be my support and now I don't have that anymore. I used to talk to her when I was down and out and now I don't have that and I feel so lonely. I really miss having that person to lean on. She was my best friend. And when im feeling down right now about other things going on in my life and I don't have her to talk to. I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to. Maybe I'm just really emotional right now. I means even little things bug me now. I feel so depressed like what's the point of living sometimes . . . I just feel terrible
Ireallydontknow Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Kick her to the fing curb. Reread your first post. Then reread it again. Still want her back?
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