Sweeetie Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 (edited) Hi all. I'm 23 years old, soon to be 24 in 2 months time I've recently started liking a guy who I met through a friend about 3 months ago. We hang out in the same group of friends hence we see a lot of each other; they are friends who were his to start with and I met them when he started inviting me to their meetups. Wonderful people . Now when I start liking a guy it is usually only if I have sensed their attraction towards me, I am lucky in the sense that I never go for people who have never shown the slightest bit of interest in me. The problem here is that he is giving me many mixed signals- one day I'll think he likes me, the next day I'll be sure he doesn't, the next day there'll be a strong sign that he does...a complete roller coaster. I am now at the stage where I want to know where I stand with him because I don't want to embark on an emotional journey and suffer heartbreak if I am wrong about this. What I would like to do is list some of the signs which suggest to me that he likes me and some which suggest he doesn't and ask readers to give their views, that would be much appreciated! Signs that he is into me: 1) One evening 2 weeks ago, when he was at work and I was at home, we were talking on Facebook chat, when he spontaneously said "do you want to go grab a drink now?" I needed to be up at 5.30am the next day since I was doing the early shift at my work but I didn't want to miss the opportunity to have some time alone with him(a date?) so I accepted but requested he come to a place in my neighbourhood for the drink due to my early start the next day, to which he said yes to. In the end, he needed to be at work till midnight that evening (his job is crazy, he works for Google) so we couldn't do the drink. We were still talking on the chat that night as he was working, I was still up since I couldn't sleep and he made a comment "Perhaps you couldn't sleep because you're in love? ;)" I don't know what he meant by that! 2) I am due to have a surgery in 2 weeks time, which will mean I can't see this group of friends of mine for a month . When I told him on fb chat a few days ago that I won't be be able to see them for a month due to needing a surgery he said "cuteness reduction? ;)" I had never heard of that and asked him what that was, and he said people do it when they are "too cute"; when they attract too many guys or girls. I jokingly said "Ha so you think I'm too cute? ;)" He replied "What else could be wrong with you?" 3) when he and I talk, he tends to look me up and down a lot, as if to check out what I'm wearing. Signs that he is not into me: 4) When we talk about partying or vacations he says stuff like "hope the place has cute chicks!" Like last friday i went partying at a nice club with some other friends, he had never been to this club and he asked me the next day if there were "any wonderful girls at the place". Typical guy talk but you wouldn't be saying this around a girl you like right? What's more, we all went partying last weekend and he got talking to a girl at the club and ditched our group all night. 5) We were all out in town yesterday (our group of friends), waiting in a queue for a restaurant and there was a woman selling valentine-style roses, he said "could you buy me a rose?" Before I could reply he continued "for me to give to some girl?" He wasn't being serious ofcourse. Later when we were eating I asked him "so did you buy a rose in the end?" He jokingly replied "oh did you want one?" So quite a few mixed signals there. 6) I introduced him to my best friend last week (who is not in our friendship group), the 3 of us went out for a drink. Originally it was gonna be just me and her meeting up but since he didnt have plans I asked him if he wanted to come. They didn't seem to have much in common and he was speaking mainly to me when we went out. This week it is her birthday. She was gonna have birthday drinks tonight, all the guests apart from me are going to be greek because she is greek and past experience has shown me it is better for me to have another non-greek-speaker there for the times i wont be able to be part of a greek conversation. I asked her if I could bring him (she knows i like him) to which she said of course. I asked him on Sunday if he is free on Wednesday, to which he said "yes I am" I then went on to tell him why I asked- that my best friend is having birthday drinks and asked him if he'd like to come, and he said he'd love to. My best friend then changed the day for drinks to Thursday. This morning, Wednesday morning I thought I'd send a group message round asking our friends if they'd like to have a picnic tonight since the summer would end soon. Nobody replied, it was quite last minute and they have busy lives. I was secretly hoping that it would be just him and me. I asked him if he wants to come to the picnic and he said "not me". I said I thought he said he was free Wednesday night and he said "I am free. But I want to do other stuff" I jokingly said "does that mean you're bored of us? :p" he replied "haha. no not bored, but I have stuff to do." This abruptness from him/lack of interest upset me a lot, not to his knowledge because he doesn't know I feel. I was in tears for an hour or two and that's why I want to pull out now if I need to- I am starting to like him more and I am thinking of stopping all this before it gets too late. This post alone has taken me an hour to write and if he does not like me I do not intend to waste anymore time. What do you think? My personal opinion is that this guy finds me attractive but not enough to actually 'like' me. Edited August 21, 2013 by Sweeetie
Versacehottie Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I definitely think he is into you. I also think he is probably testing you a bit with comments about other girls to "gauge" your interest. A bit immature but people DO do that. He also may be sending mixed signals because he likes you but not ready for a relationship OR to take a chance messing up friendship with you. I wouldn't worry too much about the picnic thing because he probably saw that as kinda a romantic or girly activity and wasn't into doing that. However, that alone should let you know he's cautious about the next step. If he is close to your age, it doesn't surprise me at all that he wouldn't want to go on a picnic. The one thing i would say to do is notice how he keeps his word and treats you with respect. The whole thing about commenting about other girls can take a bit of time to go away--he just needs to learn that it's a stupid move on his part to do it. There's a learning curve there and if he doesn't rise to the occasion then he probably either doesn't have the best of intentions or not ready to grow up. Others can probably give some good advice of how to turn the obvious flirtation/mutual interest into something more. Good luck!
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