Notry412 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 My girlfriend broke up with me on Friday it was my birthday. She has been nasty to me for a while, so it was best without a doubt. So I kinda got mad at her and called her a bitch for it. So we don't talk until today she sends me a horrible message that basically destroys me, says I was disgusting to her. I was bad in bed(even tho she told me I was her best before.) Basically picked apart my entire life and everything I am. I stopped reading because it basically broke my self esteem to read it all. Not sure why im posting it, but I am really having a tough time coping after reading it. I was already depressed because she basically destroyed me this last month with beating me down. Then she sends me this which basically buried me. I don't know what to do or think about it.
Zahara Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 My girlfriend broke up with me on Friday it was my birthday. She has been nasty to me for a while, so it was best without a doubt. So I kinda got mad at her and called her a bitch for it. So we don't talk until today she sends me a horrible message that basically destroys me, says I was disgusting to her. I was bad in bed(even tho she told me I was her best before.) Basically picked apart my entire life and everything I am. I stopped reading because it basically broke my self esteem to read it all. Not sure why im posting it, but I am really having a tough time coping after reading it. I was already depressed because she basically destroyed me this last month with beating me down. Then she sends me this which basically buried me. I don't know what to do or think about it. I wouldn't let the "bad in bed" get to you because it's no different than a woman trying to hit below the belt when they're mad by saying you have a small penis. Anger makes you say the meanest things. I'm not sure why your self-esteem is broken. You should be confident in who you are and what you have to offer versus allowing a destructive person to determine who you are. Besides, she's has a pattern of being mean so why would you take to heart words from a person like that?
Author Notry412 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 It just hurts she went on to about 50 or so things she hates about me. The way I dress everything, I was stupid for reading it. It just hurts hearing so many bad things about yourself from someone you really loved. I was having a hard time after the break up, but went NC and this just made it worse somehow.
PlumPrincess Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 She sounds like an awful bitch and you can be glad you got rid of her!
Soat Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 It just hurts she went on to about 50 or so things she hates about me. The way I dress everything, I was stupid for reading it. It just hurts hearing so many bad things about yourself from someone you really loved. I was having a hard time after the break up, but went NC and this just made it worse somehow. She has some anger issues unless you're not telling us something you did to her... You're far better off without someone who's capable of this level of anger and hostility. 1
Zahara Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 It just hurts she went on to about 50 or so things she hates about me. The way I dress everything, I was stupid for reading it. It just hurts hearing so many bad things about yourself from someone you really loved. I was having a hard time after the break up, but went NC and this just made it worse somehow. I'm sure it hurts but you have to consider the source, realize where it's coming from and ask yourself if you believe those things to be true. People often say hurtful things to hurt you back. It doesn't mean it's true. If all those 50 things were true, I am sure she would have never even attempted to date you in the first place. If you want to remain NC and be at peace, block her. This way you don't jeopardize your process of moving forward.
Author Notry412 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 No I just blew up on her after she broke up with me on my birthday, but more about what she did, not who she was. Called her a bitch I think was the worst. I called her out on still talking to her ex boyfriend. Nothing nearly as personal as the **** she said.
Author Notry412 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Yea I was thinking of blocking her, so she didn't have the chance to send me anymore hate, or anything for that matter.
Soat Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Yea I was thinking of blocking her, so she didn't have the chance to send me anymore hate, or anything for that matter. Erase her completely from your life. She's a complete *******. No one I know breaks up with someone on their f*cking birthday. That's just a dick move.
Zahara Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Yea I was thinking of blocking her, so she didn't have the chance to send me anymore hate, or anything for that matter. Don't think. Do.
anna121 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Yea I was thinking of blocking her, so she didn't have the chance to send me anymore hate, or anything for that matter. Good. It's always more effective to simply not respond. It will drive her crazy, over time, and is much healthier for you. Be sure to think of all ways that she might be able to contact you, and block them.
Taramere Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 It just hurts she went on to about 50 or so things she hates about me. The way I dress everything, I was stupid for reading it. It just hurts hearing so many bad things about yourself from someone you really loved. I was having a hard time after the break up, but went NC and this just made it worse somehow. Of course it hurts. I think anybody would have a tough time hearing stuff like that during a break up, and it's not really something you can just brush out of your mind when you're feeling so low anyway. I think once the strong emotion passes you'll see that some people handle break ups with atrocious immaturity - and will say go on a mission to cause pain. You need to try very hard not to internalise this, and to realise that all that poor impulse control (going off on one and bombarding you with cruel comments) is her issue not yours. And if there's truth in any of it, well having flaws or room for improvement in certain areas is not a disaster. Or if it is, it's a disaster that befalls everybody, including her (especially her, from the sound of things!). The things she said about you that you've told us could be said to absolutely anybody. Dressing well, being good in bed - these are all highly subjective areas. Which is probably why she picked them. Because how do you prove or disprove something like that? Big cyber hug, and I hope you've got a good friend to give you a real life hug. You need it just now, but this will pass. We've all been there. However bad it feels at the time, however much you thought that person was the one for you - and however long you were together for, there will very probably come a day when you'll look back and ask yourself "why did I care so much?" 3
Author Notry412 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Yea thanks for the well wishes, it just really was a hard pill to swallow. For all that she said I'm not sure why she was with me at all. I just hope she doesn't try and contact me at work or anything now that she is blocked. 1
alphabetagamma Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Yea thanks for the well wishes, it just really was a hard pill to swallow. For all that she said I'm not sure why she was with me at all. I just hope she doesn't try and contact me at work or anything now that she is blocked. Since she was talking to her ex.. Well, I guess you were just a rebound and she used you to get over from ex. **** happens, always double check background and if something is fishy - fall back.
JDPT Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 (edited) Women and I'm not stereotyping by any means are pros at destroying anyone's self esteem. Don't take anything she wrote personal, she was simply reacting to the message you sent her. I'll give you an example, my ex, when she broke up with my hinted me of the one thing I did wrong for her,however, she never said it to me straight forward and that killed my self esteem. When I mentioned it to my therapist she made an excellent point of helping me understand that the one thing she complained about was never discussed in the relationship. My ex independently assumed that it was something she needed me to take care of but as previously stated we never solidified or discussed anything pertaining to that issue she had with me. What I'm trying to say is, don't dwell on what she wrote, she was clearly irate when she sent it to you. Focus on you and moving forward with life. Edited August 21, 2013 by JDPT 1
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