lalalovekay Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 (edited) Well I'm new to this. I just feel like letting out my story I had with him and the break up. It is pretty long but please read it and tell me your thoughts please. I know there is no hope of him ever coming back to me but im hoping some of you will say there always is. Or that he'll miss me at least because I really love him even after a month of the break up. Im 19 and hes 20. I know we're young but I really do love him. I met him on September last year, we hit it off since day one. When he first kissed me, he told me to not fall for him and I told him to not fall for me but little did he know I had already fallen for him. We talked and went out on "non dates" the whole month of September and october then on thanksgiving I told him I had feelings for him. And he told me to not to stop the feelings so I stoped talking to him but then he said he wanted me that he did too have feelings for me. We spent Christmas and new years together. We spent all of our traditions together then on january he asked me out where he knew I always wanted to go. We were doing so great. Yes we argued a lot but to me it was the perfect relationship. I had never been so comfortable and happy with anyone. We had the same schedule go into work at the same time, get out at the same time. Go to church together and he lives three blocks away. Everything was going fine. Until he got a new car. He was trying to surprise me but I didnt know obviously. So before he told me I had gotten mad at him for not visiting me that day and when he finally told me why instead of apoligizing my ego kept arguing with him. The next day we talked, I knew he was trying to break up with me and I told him I was willing to leave if that meant for him to be happy. But instead he said we would work thinks out. We ended up going to the movies like if nothing happened. Then on july 11 I texted him, the daily morning text, he replied normally then said he didnt feel good. Then he said he didnt feel good about our relationship that it was taking time away from our friends. I left it like that I didnt want to talk to him anymore after breaking up with me through text until my friends told me I needed closure. I told him and he said he was willing to, but thats where I begged I kept asking why and why. He said it wasnt healthy to see eachother everyday (I realize that now) he also said I kept talking about babies and marrige a lot. But that doesnt mean I want one right now, and I told him. And lastly he said he couldnt love me the way I wanted him to. Through out the relationship we never said I love you to eachother. Mine slipped a lot though, but I was waiting for him. Anyways when he said that he also said "at a point I thought I loved you" idk if he did or didnt. Anyways I told him I didnt want to lose him so I was willing to stay friends so for the first week I tried but I kept asking why why why every day we talked in person again a week later but this time I read him a letter teling him everything I would do everything I would change everything I was sorry for everything but he still didnt change his mind. So then I told him I couldnt stay friends with him because I still loved him. I also asked if we would ever get back together and he said "only time will tell". We didnt talk for one day until I gave in I texted him saying I understood every reason why he broke up with me and that I was willing to be friends and everything seemed fine. I still had feelings for him though so pretending to be his friend hurt so much then when our 6 month was suppose to happen we went to the movies and when we got home he told me how much he wanted to kiss me The next day we hung out again but this time he kissed me. iT WAS PERFECT . Then he asked how I felt about the kiss. Not wanting to sound stupid so I said "good , the same I guess" && I asked how he felt and after what seemed five minutes he finally said "the same theres nothing to feel" after that he told me he was going to go camping. And I thought that was perfect time to let him go, for my heart to heal. The day before he left he told me he wanted to see me. He came oveer and we talked for an hour before he kissed me again. To me that was the perfect goodbye. The next day he texted me three times but I didnt reply because I thought he wasnt going to get reception. Well I was wrong we texted for about three days then again I told him. I couldnt talk to him because everytime we kissed I got butterflies that I was still crazy for him. He told me to make up my mind. Which I find dumb because my mind is made up. I want him and he knows. Anywas we didnt talk for three days then I gave in and texted him. I told him I wanted to start all over again I wanted to start fresh. He agreed he did too but after agreeing to start fresh. He said "I dont want to be with you, I dont want to be with anyone" after that I texted less and less unless he texted me. The next day we got into the stupidest argument ever. He got me so mad I called him names. After I felt so bad I apologized, I told him I cared a lot about him and that I just wanted to work things out. He replied saying he cared aboutme and he wanted to work things out too but he didn't have anything to say to me. I apologized Again and told him I would give him his space. After four days he texted me saying "I just want to wish you a good day" I wished him a good day too but other than that we didnt talk as much after I stoped replying. The next day he texted me again and told me about his day then asked if I even wanted to be friends still I replied with "of course I do why wouldnt I" && he said because I wasnt texting him as much that I never started the conversation and I always ended it by not replying. I apilogized and told him I just had a lot on my plate at the moment. . The next day some girl was talking about me on instagram and he Found out. He got really mad and I thanked him for watching over me. After that he said "text me when you want to talk" we didnt talk for 3 days then he texted me three days ago saying " I guess we're done" like what does that mean? So I told him "I wanted something serious, you didnt so its done, it was your choice" He said "I know it was my choice, and I stand by it but im talking about being friends" and I replied "I still care a lot about you, being friends wont work and im not going to put myself in that situation, I gave you your space so now please give me mine" then he told me to text him when im ready to be friends with him" BUT I DONT WANT TO JUST BE FRIENDS I love him and I will do anything to get him back. Do you guys think he'll text me? When he first broke up with me I unfollowed him on instagram because I just couldnt but he would still follow me until last night he unfollowed me. I love him. I know theres no hope but if you guys think theres a little bit a little bit of hope please tell me. Its my birthday in a few days, will he call then? Edited August 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Zahara Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 The man is telling you point blank that he only wants to be friends. Fact, you can't be friends because you are emotionally involved. So what if he calls? Doesn't change the fact that he is just a friend. Go strict NC and forget about this guy. Plus, he sounds like a complete mind f***.
barky2 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Hey thanks for sharing your story and I'm so sorry your in pain. I once dated someone , for almost a year and I told her to not get used to this ect kind of joking...but deep down I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. Did I have fun? Sure. Did we sleep together and go on fun dates and do a lot for her? Sure did. The thing is I knew it wouldnt lead anywhere. We lasted a year, and I had to stop because I knew it wasn't fair. Did I have feelings,of course. Idk if this helps, guess I was in his shoes. I would do yourself a favor....and leave this be. Find someone who you deserve. Is there a chance? Sure. Does anyone of us know? Absolutely not. Please stop all contact and focus on you moving on and letting go. Barky
darkmoon Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 (edited) you have a lot of planning to do if you want to turn this situation around, stop arguing, it is a drag, have convos instead, and hope things fall back into space, hope, best of luck, I think you could get a friends with benefits thing going, he never did want you to fall for him so this will not be a big exclusive romance, beware, he is a commitment phobe at the best of times Edited August 21, 2013 by darkmoon
Author lalalovekay Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Hey thanks for sharing your story and I'm so sorry your in pain. I once dated someone , for almost a year and I told her to not get used to this ect kind of joking...but deep down I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. Did I have fun? Sure. Did we sleep together and go on fun dates and do a lot for her? Sure did. The thing is I knew it wouldnt lead anywhere. We lasted a year, and I had to stop because I knew it wasn't fair. Did I have feelings,of course. Idk if this helps, guess I was in his shoes. I would do yourself a favor....and leave this be. Find someone who you deserve. Is there a chance? Sure. Does anyone of us know? Absolutely not. Please stop all contact and focus on you moving on and letting go. Barky So theres no hope with him? Did you ever miss your ex? Did you love her?
barky2 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 So theres no hope with him? Did you ever miss your ex? Did you love her? There's hope for anything madam. Do I miss her? Of course. Do I love her? Unfortunately not like id love my wife. Would I love to talk to her? Sure, all the time. But the thing is, she deserves 100% from a guy. She's a great girl I have enough respect to leave her be while she finds it. You have to focus on yourself, as she is doing with herself. No matter if u wake up tomorrow and slip on a sock and fall down , nothing will change if he will come back. Tried to make you smile a little. Anythings possible. But don't put ur life on hold and wait for it....you deserve better. Barky
Author lalalovekay Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 There's hope for anything madam. Do I miss her? Of course. Do I love her? Unfortunately not like id love my wife. Would I love to talk to her? Sure, all the time. But the thing is, she deserves 100% from a guy. She's a great girl I have enough respect to leave her be while she finds it. You have to focus on yourself, as she is doing with herself. No matter if u wake up tomorrow and slip on a sock and fall down , nothing will change if he will come back. Tried to make you smile a little. Anythings possible. But don't put ur life on hold and wait for it....you deserve better. Barky so theres a chance he does me miss me right? Did you ever tell her you misssed her? im sorry im just hurting so bad, im trying to move on and do my own things but i always end up thinking about him. I miss him so much and just want him to text me. For my birthday hes all i want and thats in 5 days but he probably wont even text me then ): im sorry but you just help a lot especially because you were in his shoes
barky2 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Listen, I've been in his shoes, I'm sure a lot of people have. But your clinging to my words you know? I don't want you to do that. Does he miss you? Maybe...why not? That won't change anything right now. I know the pain all too well. Did I ever tell her I missed her? No. I respected her space and let her move on...just like you should. That'd be selfish of me. But the thing is , if you contact him at all in anyway, you will push him further away. They always come back when you've moved on and don't care anymore. Someone on Ls told me that, and it stuck with me to get better, to let go and to move on. But you can't fake it. You have to do it. " this too shall pass" Never heard truer words. Take a breath. You will be OK. Theres only one way to go...and that's up. Chin up. Barky
Author lalalovekay Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Listen, I've been in his shoes, I'm sure a lot of people have. But your clinging to my words you know? I don't want you to do that. Does he miss you? Maybe...why not? That won't change anything right now. I know the pain all too well. Did I ever tell her I missed her? No. I respected her space and let her move on...just like you should. That'd be selfish of me. But the thing is , if you contact him at all in anyway, you will push him further away. They always come back when you've moved on and don't care anymore. Someone on Ls told me that, and it stuck with me to get better, to let go and to move on. But you can't fake it. You have to do it. " this too shall pass" Never heard truer words. Take a breath. You will be OK. Theres only one way to go...and that's up. Chin up. Barky Thank you so much. It just hurts to know i really lost him but thank you, ill try
barky2 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Of course it hurts. But after you overcome all of this, ull look back and be like damn I can believe I got thru that and look at me what was I thinking? You'll be OK. One day at a time. Barky
Author lalalovekay Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Starting 5th day of no contact and he hasnt in any way tried either. Instead of getting easier its getting harder
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