Lost the love of my life, my story and what I'm doing now

[ohiite]

So me and my ex dated for 6 months before it all came crumbling down... Our relationship started off with fireworks literally and figuitvily and ended that way as well.. NYE till 4th of July. we both told our parents about one another which we both never did before and we were serious. she is one year older than me and graduated college in may... She also does pageants and lost the state pageant in June, she was under a lot of stress at that time which she says distracted her from being in a relationship. I felt neglected, felt her distancing me away from her. She brought it up on 4th of July and said she has been doing that and it's not me and she really loves me. Around that time the love you goodnight texts stopped from her, the kisses weren't the same, hanging out was strange at times, and she asked for a break to see if she would miss me. This was a stab in the heart because we only saw each other once a week. The next day I broke up with her because I felt like I was a burden on her and I felt like she really didn't want it anymore. she hated me for it for a week. I reached out to try and work it out but she said she doesn't want it anymore, and she's not ready for a relationship, she doesn't know what she wants, and it's not her first priority... It ended of on good terms till I texted her and accused her of not loving me and leading me on which ended off with her telling me to grow the **** up and she called me a kid.... She is gorgeous, best personality, and strong. she is my cousins fiancé's sister, I'm going to see her often, and we haven't spoken in 3 weeks. I've been depressed since I broke it off, regretting not giving her a chance to think, but I see that I can't reach out anymore because it will push her away further, the love I have for her is unconditional even though she doesn't see this nor does anyone else. I feel like she isn't as hurt by this as I am but I haven't lost hope in her even though I'm moving on and I know she is too. thinking that if I work on myself and become the man she wants I can win her back in the future and if not ill get something positive out of it by growing up like she said... this was my first relationship and her second. Please let me know what you think about this

[Chi townD]

Yep! It sucks and it's going to suck. But, you have a solid game plan. You need to work on you! She doesn't want to be with you right now. Sorry, but there's nothing you can do about that right now. So, as you said, work on you.