joeblack Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Ok so here's the story.. About a month ago I set up a threesome between me and 2 female friends. I had been sleeping around with one for a while now, so she agreed to make that fantasy come true for me. I was looking for some girl on girl action too, so I though of a friend I had had a crush on a long time ago (lets call her Jen) and I knew was bi. I was at first hesitant to contact Jen since it had been a long time since we'd talked, years actually. I knew she was into me back then, at least physically, so I said what the hell, worst it could happen was for her to say no. Long story short, I contacted Jen, told me she was recently out of a long term relationship with an a*hole, and surprisingly agreed to the threesome after a quick convincing story from my part. I set up everything through text and phone calls, and after a couple of weeks the day finally came. I hadn't seen her in a long long time, but like they say, old crushes die hard. So along we went with the threesome, in which I noticeably spent a lot more time with Jen, which I had never been with before. I gave that excuse to the other girl since she noticed me spending much less time on her, although no one was really ever left out. A few days after, I began to develop this feeling of infatuation and contacted Jen for what seemed like a date, movies, dinner, etc. Since then we started going out quite a while, have also had sex several times since then, only us of course. We recently agreed on a kind of exclusivity between us, so I guess it's kind of a relationship, although because of the way everything started I'm still hesitant to take the next step in the relationship, which to me would be official dating. Why?.. several reasons actually. Like an ass of course I went ahead and bragged to a few friends before hand that I was going to have a 3 way with those 2 girls, so people already know about her and what she's been up to. I know it seems really immature to think this way, but if you know guys you should know that we tend to stereotype girls a lot, and I know people will be talking. Secondly, again immaturity playing it's part with a spice of a double standard, I myself can't still get over the fact of the way everything played out. I became quite paranoid at first thinking about her apparent promiscuity , although I played it really calm around her, and found out more about her sexual past, which is actually not that shocking. 6 Partners counting me and the other girl, 2 of those were actual relationships, and 2 were one night stands with old crushes. Nothing much really next to my 17 past partners I guess. Still, I can't help but think that I feel this way because of how everything started, I actually never behave like this. I'm 29 btw, in case you're wondering if I'm high school brat, which I most likely sound like. Well there it is, if anybody took the time to read it and have any opinions about it I'll be glad to read them. I just basically want to know if you people think a relationship would be doomed for failure because of my current mindset, or if in your experience stuff like this can be overlooked with time. Thanks!
sweetkiwi Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 .............................So you want to know if your make-believe 3 way partner will be your make-believe girlfriend? Yes. High five.
BradJacobs Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 If true, you're immature for 29. You don't want to date her because of a three way that you set up? What sort of twisted logic is that?
Author joeblack Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 If true, you're immature for 29. You don't want to date her because of a three way that you set up? What sort of twisted logic is that? Yes, I do know that I'm probably immature regarding that type of situation for my age.. probably due to the fact that I've only had one long term relationship (6 years) with a girl in which I was her first for everything.. After that it was just pure casual sex with plenty of ladies, until now. Also, it's not really the three way thing that makes me doubt, but the things I mentioned before like people talking (most will say they don't care what people think, but I believe that is usually a lie to some extent at least). Even the bisexuality thing is a first for me, for a serious relationship that is. Cut me some slack guys, I guess I'm just kind of confused as to what to expect in case I actually go through with it.
Author joeblack Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 (edited) Oh come on, while the logic may not be perfectly sound it's not unheard of. It's basically the Madonna/Whore complex. Anyway OP, it sounds like your real issue is that people know about the threesome and "what kind of girl she is". Which is of course your own doing. Now while you never expected to catch feelings for her it was still ridiculously immature of you to run around like a high school brat bragging to all within earshot about the impending threesome regardless of whether you expected things to progress this way. You've had several casual partners (though your numbers are by no means extraordinary) and it sounds like she's the first girl (or maybe just the first in a while) you've considered seriously. If she's a cool chick and you like her, why not go forward? Frankly, you're almost 30 and if you're still letting the opinions of your peers get in the way of your relationships you still haven't matured past a teenage mindset and probably shouldn't be seriously dating. Thanks for your input, you're absolutely right, spot on pretty much on everything. I guess in some way my juvenile thoughts and actions in this matter have come back and bit me in the rear. Might be for the best though, since I do believe I need to gain some emotional maturity, especially for my age. Throughout most of my whole casual sex run I pretty much labeled girls/women by the Madonna/Whore complex, although I am aware that most things are never just black or white. Most of the time through their eyes I was a complete gentlemen and never an a*hole, but I do confess I was also that guy that couldn't keep his mouth shut afterwards, at least with my close friends, which in turn WOULD make me an a*hole. Anyways, believe it or not everyone's input has been really helpful, thanks again. Edited August 23, 2013 by joeblack
Recommended Posts