Gingerlee Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Me and my ex have been broken up since last Christmas. We were sleeping together till April, and he got into a new relationship in mid June and having low contact due to an unforeseen circumstance till recently. Today, completely out of the blue, messaged me this morning asking why I’d rung him, I scrolled through my phone and i definitely not had rung him. I messaged back telling him I hadn’t and he told me he had a missed call from a random number. I told him once again that I hadn’t, then logged onto Facebook to see he had sent me the same message but had blocked me. I asked why he had and he told me he had no reason to keep me as a friend on there. I was honestly so bewildered, I’m not really sure where that had come from, and I told him I thought we were mates. He said he doesn’t have girl mates anymore because of his new girlfriend (he had loads when we were together!) and by now I was getting really angry. We ended up falling out, and he told me that I should never speak to him ever again. He said he didn’t care about me or what I’m currently going through and I told him I hated him and wished he would die. He told me he is going to be dead to me, that he hates me and never ever wants to see me or hear from me ever again. HE is the one who left me during a miscarriage, HE is the one who continued to mess with my head and tell me he loved and missed me every weekend, HE is the one who ruined my life and forced me to make decisions I didn't want to make, and HE is the one who has blocked and deleted me from everything when i'm the one who did nothing but love him! I never did anything to hurt him, EVER, and I'm absolutely numb that he has done this to me. No one has ever hurt me like this, especially not someone I loved and cherished for three years. Even after all this, I still don't hate him. I would still want to be friends with him because I still care about him even after all this. I don't know what to do. 1
Author Gingerlee Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 I could so easily get revenge as I have a password to one of his social network websites, but I can't bring myself to do anything, I just can't hate him!! When I really should!
Soat Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Uh how about recognize he's a jerk, have some pride (he used you for sex for months until he found a new gf), and move on! Wow you blame all this on him and he seems like a jerk yet you're wasting time essentially pining over him. Move on and find someone who cares about you and treats you properly. Oh and why would you want to be friends with a person like this?? Are you a doormat?
LostInTheWild Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Wow. What a douche. Move on fast...You can do better.
Author Gingerlee Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 I was a doormat, I know that myself now, but I have no idea. He was my first love and took my virginity and we always promised that no matter what we would always be friends. I just want to hate him so badly but I can't!!
Soat Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I was a doormat, I know that myself now, but I have no idea. He was my first love and took my virginity and we always promised that no matter what we would always be friends. I just want to hate him so badly but I can't!! You don't have to hate him to recover. Recovery comes from acceptance and forgetting the person eventually I just wrote this, maybe it will help a bit. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/418580-my-7-step-guide-breakups#post5154747
dgiirl Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 You definitely don't need to hate him. But you shouldn't put him on a pedestal either. Maybe it's because he is your first love, or maybe because he is an *******, that is hard for you to move on. i know it took me years to get over my exh. he was both my first love and an *******. And SO not worth those years! But you have to believe you will get over him and find happiness again. I definitely did. Unfortunately, it took me years of grieving my marriage before I even started dating, and I still carried a lot of baggage throughout the next 6 year relationship. Sadly, we just broke up, but I know I was happy for a while and know I will find that same happiness again. Everything happens for a reason. And this breakup is showing me how strong I really am, how afraid I've been for a really long time, and now it is time lo let go of that fear of being vulnerable and to enjoy life every minute! Allowing yourself to stay thinking about him, being hurt or angry, just allows yourself to stay in that relationship. But if you allow yourself to just accept it is what it is, you allow yourself to move on. Focus on acceptance instead of hate, anger or sorrow.
Zahara Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 HE is the one who left me during a miscarriage, HE is the one who continued to mess with my head and tell me he loved and missed me every weekend, HE is the one who ruined my life and forced me to make decisions I didn't want to make( And you considered yourself to be mates with him? I hope all your other friends don't treat you this way.
love1336x Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 You don't hate him because love is more of a powerful emotion... and a tricky one too.
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