narixan Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 My ex and me broke up two months ago. We had a dreamy start but our relationship got kind of complicated after months and I think we were both guilty. To tell the truth I never wanted to end this relationship, as she has been so important for me. I tried to get in touch with her (who is living in another city now) and asked her to give us another chance, and she answered me like this: "I'm not in a state of mind right to start a relationship." I still want to be your friend..... I want to talk to you, but at this point it is on a platonic level not a desirous romantic one." Well, I still love her, but I'm tired of games and don't know what should I do. Do you think there is a chance for us? Should we be friends and see what will happen in future? Thanks.
Chi townD Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Do you think there is a chance for us? Should we be friends and see what will happen in future? Don't know... Did you get into a loving and caring relationship with her in hopes that the end result is that you are nothing more than a really good friend to her or did you want more? 1
Soat Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 My ex and me broke up two months ago. We had a dreamy start but our relationship got kind of complicated after months and I think we were both guilty. To tell the truth I never wanted to end this relationship, as she has been so important for me. I tried to get in touch with her (who is living in another city now) and asked her to give us another chance, and she answered me like this: "I'm not in a state of mind right to start a relationship." I still want to be your friend..... I want to talk to you, but at this point it is on a platonic level not a desirous romantic one." Well, I still love her, but I'm tired of games and don't know what should I do. Do you think there is a chance for us? Should we be friends and see what will happen in future? Thanks. I don't see any games here. She's been pretty straightforward it's over for her. The friendship thing is usually a BS line people throw out to be "nice." Move on and focus on yourself.
Author narixan Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Don't know... Did you get into a loving and caring relationship with her in hopes that the end result is that you are nothing more than a really good friend to her or did you want more? I definitely wanted more..
Chi townD Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Then you can't be friends with her. You can't be friends with someone you have romantic feelings for. We preach NC on here for a reason. NC is a great tool for us to heal and move on. NC is a way for us to lose those romantic feelings and get to a point where when we think of our Ex's, the only thing we feel is indifferent towards them. THEN, and only then should we ever entertain the idea of being friends.
Author narixan Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 You are right. She put "at this point" in her sentences, and that made me think that maybe there will be something else in future, and maybe being friend with her will let me to change the situation. Though I know I may just lose time and keep hurting myself.
Chi townD Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Yep! The problem is with being friend with the Ex while you still have feelings for them is that you're giving them an ego boost when they need it and you're filling an emotional void when they need that void filled. Although you would be somewhat content, they are still on the prowl for someone new. And as soon as they find that person to take over those duties, you're tossed to the curb. 1
Soat Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 You are right. She put "at this point" in her sentences, and that made me think that maybe there will be something else in future, and maybe being friend with her will let me to change the situation. Though I know I may just lose time and keep hurting myself. For me it's about pride 100%. No matter how much one hurts, never go begging to someone who says they don't want you. Why humiliate yourself? Realize you can meet other people, and be with someone who actually WANTS to be with you as opposed to someone who you "beg" or "plead" or "negotiate" into their life. Be strong!
Mangledmess Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I have asked my ex back as well and to me it seemed to make me look desperate. I ended up telling her I agreed with the breakup and I am now a happier person after working on myself. 1
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