Montana 1968 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I was recently dumped (6 weeks ago) by a guy who meant the world to me. I have been through all the emotions of the break up situation. ... tears... anger.. physical pain and I was feeling very low. My friends were all very supportive to me which was wonderful. They all rallied around me and told me to "get myself back out there", so we all decided to go out for a girly night. I got dressed up and I was feeling quite attractive. We ended up going to a local bar and there was a live band playing and it was full or eligible young men. A guy approached me, he was nice and very friendly, we had talked for a while and he said he'd like to see me again so we exchanged mobile numbers. When I got home that night he texted me straight away to say that it was lovely to meet me and that he thought I was really a great person. We texted each other the next day and he explained to me that he wasn't looking for a relationship but that he would like to spend some more time in my company. He told me that he had recently split up with someone and wanted to have his freedom back for a while. Later that week he invited me around to his flat for some wine and a pizza and he also said maybe a hug or two ???. I went around to his flat because I had genuinely missed male company, not just the sex bit but the whole talking side of stuff too. I arrived at his flat and we immediately hugged each other. We sat on the sofa and talked for ages, we laughed and then we eventually kissed. Well, I'm sure you can guess where this is heading, I'm not proud of myself for it but one thing led to another and I ended up staying the night (these things do happen don't they) !!. Yes we did have safe sex and afterwards he held me very close and tightly, we cuddled all night. When we woke up he said this it was a lovely night. Now here is where I need your advice. ... he told me that he doesn't want a relationship but he doesn't do "one night stands" either ? We still text all the time and he wants to see me again soon. What is this situation then ? Will it just be a Casual Sex thing. Any ideas guys.
AMusing Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Yeah, it sounds like a casual thing to me. I suppose it could grow into something more, but it's unlikely. But then, given your mental state that's probably for the best. Don't you think? I mean, do you really feel ready to start a new relationship, even if he wanted one? Also, don't feel ashamed for what you did. Two consenting adults, who enjoy each other's company, and are honest about where they are emotionally, practicing safe sex.... I don't read anything to be ashamed about. 1
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I think it can be very difficult to have casual sex if you are a relationship oriented person- this sounds to me like 2 relationship oriented people who happened to have casual sex. It's possible it could turn into more because anything is possible- but u are not in a position to be wanting more at the moment, you can't give more because u have to get your head in the right place first--- it sucks but just hang in there and don't get caught up thinking about this too much. Focus on yourself.
MrTurk Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Its amazing to me how many women have sex....and then have quilt or question why they did it afterwords....as if they had no choice "during" the situation. Or do these women just like to feel this way because it washes their hands of any responsibility on their part....and puts it all on the guy?? YOU are an adult....what is wrong with what you did? Why do you need to feel proud??
Cjamke Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Honey I hate to tell you but you are being used like a wet dish rag. He wants you available for sex but doesn't want you as a nagging girlfriend. If you don't mind that he's playing you and maybe 5 other women, because his story is an old play out of the players handbook, you go right ahead and stay his sex tool.
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