Panda.love Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Hi everyone, Me and my ex went our separate ways two months ago after being together for 1.5 years. I had been with other people before him but I had not been so in love with anyone as much as I had been with him. The first few months of our relationship were great. A few months into the relationship, and he tells me he wants to end things because I had been hiding the fact that I was in contact with my ex. He had snooped around my phone and found out msgs. I had told him I was in contact with my ex but I suppose I had stopped telling him every time we talked. He didn't understand that despite my wishes to not be in touch with my ex, I had to stay in touch with him cause he had a court case going on in which I was involved as a witnesses. My bf (now ex) was hurt and couldn't get past things so he took a few months break and let me go (last year). After two months of begging, crying and trying to prove myself to him, we finally got back together. However, he had changed. He said he had forgiven me but his actions spoke differently. Since then for one whole year after that until this past June, I felt like I put so much more into the relationship than he did. He always had excuses for his behavior and detachment. He would use work and school as excuse to not spend more time. He was emotionally detached and never gave me the same affection as he used to before. In June, I finally got really tired of always having to prove myself to him. I was doing everything I could to show him he meant the world to me. I guess it wasn't enough. I felt drained out of all emotional feelings and left. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I cry almost every night. It has been two months. He contacted me a few times but they were never explicitly to try to work things out. I told him last week that its not fair that he was getting in touch with me and how it was not allowing me to move on, so I asked him to leave me alone. He didn't respond to that email. I was doing good until yesterday when my feelings for him just flooded like a tsunami. I wrote him a long email declaring my love for him. He never responded (again). I feel rejected and hurt. I know I left him and I take responsibility for not constantly telling him certain things, but I am hurting so much that he didn't even try to fight for me to stay in his life. I don't understand how to move on without feeling rejected and this weak? I keep asking myself if he will ever realize any of this...
Ireallydontknow Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Drop it and move on. It doesn't seem like you did anything wrong. You had a reason to talk to your ex. He sounded insecure. At least you weren't sending dirty pics and stuff. If you ever feel like breaking NC you can talk to me I offer that to everyone here. I wish someone would of been there last night when I broke NC :/ It did not go well, it never goes well. 1
Author Panda.love Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Thanks. It's so much easier said than done. I absolutely hate how up and down I feel. Some days are so much better than other days. What should I do now? Just never get in touch? You can always talk to me too if you need to. I wish I had that last night so someone would have snapped me out it. I feel like I was so insignificant to him. All the love I gave and all the energy I put into it all seem like they meant nothing. 1
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