Heartbroken Eagle Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Hi folks. It's now 6 months since I found out my ex was cheating on me and our subsequent split after 12 years together. We have a 7 year old boy. I have since discovered that my ex had told several lies to me over the years and had texted intimate details about me to strangers. As you could imaging I have been hurting really bad, which has turned into anger. My ex however is now on boyfriend no 2 and they are on the brink of moving in together in the home we once shared. I am still struggling with the split, not for wanting her back, my feelings for her has long gone, but for the lack of respect and for her treatment towards me. Also, I hate her for the fact that I don't see my son every day, but every other weekend, due to the distance. I call every night but it's not the same. I guess there is part of me wishing her to suffer the same amount of pain that I'm going through as well. I now have Limited Contact with her now which is working. However I still have to speak to her on the phone and see her when I'm returning my son to her. The problem is when I see or hear her, I still feel angry towards her and I really want to lash out verbally at her. But I don't and when I put the phone down or get back in the car, I breakdown in tears. Has anyone has any tips on how to control this as it really is getting me down. Thanks
Soat Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Hi folks. It's now 6 months since I found out my ex was cheating on me and our subsequent split after 12 years together. We have a 7 year old boy. I have since discovered that my ex had told several lies to me over the years and had texted intimate details about me to strangers. As you could imaging I have been hurting really bad, which has turned into anger. My ex however is now on boyfriend no 2 and they are on the brink of moving in together in the home we once shared. I am still struggling with the split, not for wanting her back, my feelings for her has long gone, but for the lack of respect and for her treatment towards me. Also, I hate her for the fact that I don't see my son every day, but every other weekend, due to the distance. I call every night but it's not the same. I guess there is part of me wishing her to suffer the same amount of pain that I'm going through as well. I now have Limited Contact with her now which is working. However I still have to speak to her on the phone and see her when I'm returning my son to her. The problem is when I see or hear her, I still feel angry towards her and I really want to lash out verbally at her. But I don't and when I put the phone down or get back in the car, I breakdown in tears. Has anyone has any tips on how to control this as it really is getting me down. Thanks Focus on your child and creating a healthy relationship with him/her. That's ultimately all that matters now. From that you will get the strength to create a livable/amicable relationship with the ex-gf so you can be there for the child. Whatever the ex is, you have a child that permanently ties you to her in some way for the rest of your life. For the good of the child you need to make this work for you somehow. Good luck
iouaname Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Lashing out will only make things worse, because then she'll just have more bad things to say about you. I understand the anger and the resentment but this is really the time to be the bigger person... 1
Author Heartbroken Eagle Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Thank you Soat and Iouaname for your wise words. You are both correct in your advice, I should really bite the bullet and be civilised for the sakes of my son. One thing that does concern me is the anger I still feel after 6 months. I'm normally a happy go lucky kind of guy, but this is eating away at me. I just hope I can shake it off soon so I can move on and find the woman who truly deserves my heart...
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