Ruby1 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 My husband would be happy with McDonald's every night for tea. I cook a healthy meal for him every night (dinner time is the only time I see him) after tea he disappears into his 'man cave' to play video games, watch movies or smoke. He doesn't talk to me and is always playing some sort of game. As for sex, I always have to initiate it because he has no sex drive. Asking him to do a simple chore like get food out of the fridge to help me prepare it for cooking is a challenge. He doesn't care what he looks like, always stinks and leaves the house so untidy. He would never consider taking me out anywhere, I'm always trying to cheer him up and do things for him. Apart from all this, he took out a loan which was meant to be for a wedding ring for me (after he said he would buy me one for our 3rd year wedding anniversary) but ended up spending the money on himself and denies spending the money even though I've seen receipts and bank statements. Does anyone know what I could do to get him motivated to get healthier, happier and spend more time with me? I'm feeling really unloved and on my own. I feel like I've tried everything. Should I tell him I'm feeling like this? I feel like it would change anything. I really love him and want our relationship to be better. 1
Balzac Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Greetings! Welcome to LS. Whoa, have you considered that he's depressed? When was his last visit to a physician? Healthy lifestyle choices are individual decisions, it's not a choice every adult goes for. What was he like when you married him? How long have you been married? Have you changed during the marriage as to lifestyle? 1
pink_sugar Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I agree. Does he work or has anything resulted in the behavior he has now? I know my husband is depressed and does a lot of the above (video games and lack of cleaning unless prompted). However, unfortunately you cannot change him. He has to be willing to work on himself. In this case, you need to sit down and talk with him about these issues and make it clear that it cannot go on. Hopefully he will have the incentive to step up and do more.
MercuryMorrison1 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 It sounds to me like he expects you to be his mommy more than his wife. But that's just my observation. As far as getting him motivated...I'm sure there's a way somehow, But its really hard to make people change who they are on a core level. If he's a messy, stinky, slob with no sex drive and that's just who he is...It's going to be hell trying to get him to change out of that mentality.
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