NEEDING A GIRLS POV - EX Girlfriend is cold and bitter after having new boyfriend

[FearingTEN]

I'm a guy who was dumped by his girlfriend out of the blue 2 months ago. We loved each other so much. We have been together for 2 1/2 years. There wasn't a day where we didnt text each other at all and we did almost everything together. We had sex almost every week & we had weekly conversations talking cheesy about how much we loved each other.

 

But out of the blue, on July 1.. she broke up with me. I thought it couldnt get any worse but I found out through a friend that she is now dating her crush of one year only 2 weeks later.

 

I begged and cried every week. The last text she sent me (yesterday) was:

 

"Please leave me alone. STOP. I don't wanna talk to you! Stop calling and texting me."

 

And

 

"I'm in a happy relationship. Also you're irritating so STOP."

 

I need help from a GIRLS point of view. How can she do this? How can she just throw our relationship out like that? I don't understand how we can go from having sex, loving each other just two months ago.. to this. It hurts me so much and i love this girl to death (even though I know I shouldn't) But i do. Any help? Tips? ANYTHING.

 

P.S. ... Please no "Move on" advice..

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

I'm a guy who was dumped by his girlfriend out of the blue 2 months ago. We loved each other so much. We have been together for 2 1/2 years. There wasn't a day where we didnt text each other at all and we did almost everything together. We had sex almost every week & we had weekly conversations talking cheesy about how much we loved each other.

 

But out of the blue, on July 1.. she broke up with me. I thought it couldnt get any worse but I found out through a friend that she is now dating her crush of one year only 2 weeks later.

 

I begged and cried every week. The last text she sent me (yesterday) was:

 

"Please leave me alone. STOP. I don't wanna talk to you! Stop calling and texting me."

 

And

 

"I'm in a happy relationship. Also you're irritating so STOP."

 

I need help from a GIRLS point of view. How can she do this? How can she just throw our relationship out like that? I don't understand how we can go from having sex, loving each other just two months ago.. to this. It hurts me so much and i love this girl to death (even though I know I shouldn't) But i do. Any help? Tips? ANYTHING.

 

P.S. ... Please no "Move on" advice..

 

Youre asking for no "move on" advice when that is the only option you have there hoss.

 

She can "do this" because she stopped caring about the relationship a long time ago. You might not have seen it coming, but she did for probably a while. My ex went from living with me, having sex, telling she loved me, and within a week moved in with another guy and was doing the things we were doing.

 

It blows a lot, but such is life. Tips: Do not contact her, do not check her social networks, and be a ghost.

[Philosoraptor]

Sorry, that's the only advice that would benefit you. Do you really want to be with someone who could drop and replace you so easily?

 

But I digress, she had been planning on leaving you for awhile for this guy. She had an easier time dumping you as she had a new guy lined up, and jumped to him once things were clear. In her head she is moved on and happy, so you need to do the same. Take care of yourself, gather some self respect; and eventually you'll find someone who values, respects, and treats you as well as you treat them.

[crederer]

She is in a relationship and you are burdening her. She wants nothing to do with you any more. I'm sorry man I know it sucks, I was there fairly recently too. It get's better, I still think about my ex quite a bit but I'm at the point where I feel like I can breath again, and I'm not clinging on to a hope. I wanted to cling on, because I felt like if I let go, it'd be gone for good.

 

Now that I'm not, I feel liberated.

 

Begging her and bombarding her wasn't the best way to win her back, though, if that was your intention.

[alphabetagamma]

Take a week OFF.

 

Feel free to cry etc, but try to analyze what went wrong for real. There's gotta be something the she didn't like.

 

Maybe you was too immature?

Maybe you didn't have enough money?

Maybe your relationship was standing at the same point?

Maybe you gained weight?

Maybe you were to needy, maybe you were all over the place for her

Maybe you were just too BETA (kind) to her

Maybe you name it..

 

etc.. there can be numerous of things that might have gone wrong. I know lot of guys (including me) that have been dumped to similar issues.

 

Furthermore, it can also be GIGS. Sometimes when girl is loosing attraction to you, gets confused and goes into rebound immediately. That's a girly thing IMHO, but she is just probably testing water.

 

Just ACT cool, be confident and start NC/LC or even NONCHALANCE.

 

Don't BEG. I know it can be hard and you might think that it would work, but NOPE. It will push her even more away (talking from my own experiences).

 

Start improving yourself immediately, I know it's hard to get yourself back on the track after being together for almost 3 years, but TRY. If you can't then just FAKE it until you MAKE it.

 

Go to gym,

Get a proper job (if you don't have)

Get new haircut/clothes

Start dating other girls etc..

 

2 months is a lot of begging and she might have lost all the attraction towards you. I begged for a month and I'm finally starting get my **** together.

 

Go NC for at least a week, if she doesn't call you/message you then keep NCing. Wait until she WANTS you.

 

If she shows you no attention at all then wait couple of weeks and start posting pics to insta/FB with you having fun with other girls. But not too fast, otherwise she will quickly realize that you are just trying to make her jealous.

 

I'm having similar issue like you. Although I have been in relationship for 4+ years. She started to talk with a rebound guy on Skype year ago. They only talked, met couple of times, nothing serious. I didn't care either since I took her for granted. Year went past and she dumped me.

 

At first I begged/cried - nothing helped.

 

Then I tried to please her by giving her gifts - she went softer, but still no chance to get her back.

 

Then I just tried to act mature and told that she was right, it wasn't the best relationship and I'm accepting your rebound. Show now feelings at all, just wish them luck and go NC.

 

2,5 years is a lot and she is going to miss you very soon. All those nights when she is lonely (without you and without her rebound) she will surely have seconds thoughts even when your relationship wasn't the best.

 

2 questions tho:

 

1) did you live together?

2) how old are you two?

Edited August 21, 2013 by alphabetagamma

[Ireallydontknow]

Look I broke NC last night, anonymously. It's not worth it, hearing that she is happy regardless if it's real or not hurts. All you have now is yourself. I woke up this morning and made the decision that this girl is no longer going to steal my life. Our relationship stagnated for a couple years.

 

None of us were moving forward, and I was trying way harder than she was. You're ex sounds immature like mine. She is going to keep looking for happiness in others because she can't find it in herself.

 

Also on another note, take no offense to this. I think you need therapy. You are dwelling so hard, and seem very obsessive over this girl. I am entering therapy after my weightloss spa trip.

 

Just keep working on yourself and start turning women's heads, women who deserve someone who cares, just don't smother them!

 

If it helps thinking of the future, close your eyes, think of that girl you are going to attract into your life, shes better than your ex, smarter, funnier, sexier, but the only way you get that is with work from YOURSELF.

 

Also I noticed this said girls advice, I'm not a girl LOLz

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Take a week OFF.

 

Feel free to cry etc, but try to analyze what went wrong for real. There's gotta be something the she didn't like.

 

Maybe you was too immature?

Maybe you didn't have enough money?

Maybe your relationship was standing at the same point?

Maybe you gained weight?

Maybe you were to needy, maybe you were all over the place for her

Maybe you were just too BETA (kind) to her

Maybe you name it..

 

etc.. there can be numerous of things that might have gone wrong. I know lot of guys (including me) that have been dumped to similar issues.

 

Furthermore, it can also be GIGS. Sometimes when girl is loosing attraction to you, gets confused and goes into rebound immediately. That's a girly thing IMHO, but she is just probably testing water.

 

Just ACT cool, be confident and start NC/LC or even NONCHALANCE.

 

Don't BEG. I know it can be hard and you might think that it would work, but NOPE. It will push her even more away (talking from my own experiences).

 

Start improving yourself immediately, I know it's hard to get yourself back on the track after being together for almost 3 years, but TRY. If you can't then just FAKE it until you MAKE it.

 

Go to gym,

Get a proper job (if you don't have)

Get new haircut/clothes

Start dating other girls etc..

 

2 months is a lot of begging and she might have lost all the attraction towards you. I begged for a month and I'm finally starting get my **** together.

 

Go NC for at least a week, if she doesn't call you/message you then keep NCing. Wait until she WANTS you.

 

If she shows you no attention at all then wait couple of weeks and start posting pics to insta/FB with you having fun with other girls. But not too fast, otherwise she will quickly realize that you are just trying to make her jealous.

 

I'm having similar issue like you. Although I have been in relationship for 4+ years. She started to talk with a rebound guy on Skype year ago. They only talked, met couple of times, nothing serious. I didn't care either since I took her for granted. Year went past and she dumped me.

 

At first I begged/cried - nothing helped.

 

Then I tried to please her by giving her gifts - she went softer, but still no chance to get her back.

 

Then I just tried to act mature and told that she was right, it wasn't the best relationship and I'm accepting your rebound. Show now feelings at all, just wish them luck and go NC.

 

2,5 years is a lot and she is going to miss you very soon. All those nights when she is lonely (without you and without her rebound) she will surely have seconds thoughts even when your relationship wasn't the best.

 

2 questions tho:

 

1) did you live together?

2) how old are you two?

 

No.....just no.

 

This poster brought up some good points, but then came back with just terrible ones lol.

 

-There is no reason to analyze why she left. That will keep you in a purgatory for a LONG time. Do NOT do that.

 

-Doesnt matter if it was GIGS, Rebound, whatever whatever. The fact remains she is not with you. Again, I will reiterate that while this is a shock to you, she has thought about this for a while. Its not some spur of the moment thing.

 

-DO NOT DO LIMITED CONTACT!!!! She told you she doesnt want you around anymore. CLEAR sign that LC wont work

 

-DO NOT post pictures on facebook for revenge. Girls can see that s*** coming a mile away ESPECIALLY since you begged her for almost two months. She honestly doesnt care currently WHAT you are doing because she is invested in hers currently. She wanted you out of there, so why go through the trouble of jealously that is clearly fake?

 

You know WHAT to do....so DO it.

[alphabetagamma]

No.....just no.

 

This poster brought up some good points, but then came back with just terrible ones lol.

 

-There is no reason to analyze why she left. That will keep you in a purgatory for a LONG time. Do NOT do that.

 

Why not? I mean, do it for yourself that. In this case you wont make the same mistakes in the new relationship. Who wants to get hurt twice by doing something immature/stupid that makes your girl dump you?

 

-Doesnt matter if it was GIGS, Rebound, whatever whatever. The fact remains she is not with you. Again, I will reiterate that while this is a shock to you, she has thought about this for a while. Its not some spur of the moment thing.

 

True, but they were together for long time. Eventhough the girl was talking with a rebound and planning to dump him. Long time together = good memories at the end. She will miss those for sure. Eventhough she hates him right now doesn't mean she could have breakdown and come back to him eventually when the dumpee has improved himself both physically/financially/mentally.

 

-DO NOT DO LIMITED CONTACT!!!! She told you she doesnt want you around anymore. CLEAR sign that LC wont work

 

I meant that he should do LC incase the girl starts to talk with HIM. Right now is NC the best route, no doubt about it!

 

-DO NOT post pictures on facebook for revenge. Girls can see that s*** coming a mile away ESPECIALLY since you begged her for almost two months. She honestly doesnt care currently WHAT you are doing because she is invested in hers currently. She wanted you out of there, so why go through the trouble of jealously that is clearly fake?

 

I told that he should wait at least 3 weeks before doing this. And it should look natural, not somekind of revenge. Many ppl don't know how to do this, so yeah, maybe he should listen to you instead of me.

 

You know WHAT to do....so DO it.

 

However, overall I agree with you.

Different girls act differently and I'm not some sort of GURU. However, I have read a lot and so far the best thing you could do is NC until she starts to speak with YOU.

 

Then you can tell her that you accept her rebound and wish her luck, but at the same time keep moving forward. Do not spy her social profiles since it will only hurt you.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

However, overall I agree with you.

Different girls act differently and I'm not some sort of GURU. However, I have read a lot and so far the best thing you could do is NC until she starts to speak with YOU.

 

Then you can tell her that you accept her rebound and wish her luck, but at the same time keep moving forward. Do not spy her social profiles since it will only hurt you.

 

I appreciate the respect and everyone is entitled to their own opinions so thanks for that...you should probably read more threads on here....when they speak to you, STAY NO CONTACT. Unless there is a text saying "______, I made a mistake and I am sorry and I want to try again", all you are doing is prolonging whatever progress you are making. There are countless threads that bite on breadcrumbs and regret it VERY quickly.

[Chi townD]

I'm a guy who was dumped by his girlfriend out of the blue 2 months ago. We loved each other so much. We have been together for 2 1/2 years. There wasn't a day where we didnt text each other at all and we did almost everything together. We had sex almost every week & we had weekly conversations talking cheesy about how much we loved each other.

 

But out of the blue, on July 1.. she broke up with me. I thought it couldnt get any worse but I found out through a friend that she is now dating her crush of one year only 2 weeks later.

 

I begged and cried every week. The last text she sent me (yesterday) was:

 

"Please leave me alone. STOP. I don't wanna talk to you! Stop calling and texting me."

 

And

 

"I'm in a happy relationship. Also you're irritating so STOP."

 

I need help from a GIRLS point of view. How can she do this? How can she just throw our relationship out like that? I don't understand how we can go from having sex, loving each other just two months ago.. to this. It hurts me so much and i love this girl to death (even though I know I shouldn't) But i do. Any help? Tips? ANYTHING.

 

P.S. ... Please no "Move on" advice..

 

Do you honestly think that a girl that has been hurt as badly as you have is going to give advice that's any different? Do you think the girls here are going to say, "Be the Romeo to her Juliette"? There is no gender differences when it comes to a broken heart.

 

So, no "move on" advice? Okay, stay in her life and suffer. That's the only other outcome. Watch her doing things with this guy that she used to do with you. Look at the pics of their weekend away together. Be on the sidelines when she looks at you with distain.

 

You start a thread asking about rebounds. Did you ever stop and considered that YOU were the rebound? I mean, you even stated that she had a crush on this guy for over a year and the first time this douche rocket showed ANY interest in her, she threw you in the gutter. That's what you meant to her. That's what she thought of you and the relationship. Disposable at anytime.

 

It's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself! Time to start getting angry! You are NOT someone's second best! You are NOT a consolation prize! You are NOT someone to waste time with until something better comes along!

 

You have self worth! The fact that you're busted up about this proves to me that your human and have feelings and are capable of sharing those with others. You might think that this girl was "the one". She showed her true colors and proved to you that she wasn't. The reasons why she dislikes you right now is for a couple of reasons. One, you're bugging the hell out of her. And second, she knows she treated you like dirt and did you wrong. You contacting her is a constant reminder on how poorly she handled everything and how bad her behavior was. She'd rather not be reminded of that.

 

So, you're going to get the "move on" advice from me. But, I hope that you read this with your eyes and not your heart. You feel that she is making a mistake. Perhaps she is, but that's a mistake she has to live with because you don't have to. You need to go NC on her to heal from this betrayal. BUT! You also need to make positive changes in your life. If you're interested I'll tell you how to do that.

 

Dude, you might be one heartbreak away from the girl that you are TRUELY meant to be with. I believe that there's a girl out there that is totally perfect for you in every way. That is going to be proud to be your girlfriend and stand by your side no matter what. She's out there. And she waiting for you to find her. But, you're never going to find her if your so hung up on a girl that wants nothing to do with you.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Do you honestly think that a girl that has been hurt as badly as you have is going to give advice that's any different? Do you think the girls here are going to say, "Be the Romeo to her Juliette"? There is no gender differences when it comes to a broken heart.

 

So, no "move on" advice? Okay, stay in her life and suffer. That's the only other outcome. Watch her doing things with this guy that she used to do with you. Look at the pics of their weekend away together. Be on the sidelines when she looks at you with distain.

 

You start a thread asking about rebounds. Did you ever stop and considered that YOU were the rebound? I mean, you even stated that she had a crush on this guy for over a year and the first time this douche rocket showed ANY interest in her, she threw you in the gutter. That's what you meant to her. That's what she thought of you and the relationship. Disposable at anytime.

 

It's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself! Time to start getting angry! You are NOT someone's second best! You are NOT a consolation prize! You are NOT someone to waste time with until something better comes along!

 

You have self worth! The fact that you're busted up about this proves to me that your human and have feelings and are capable of sharing those with others. You might think that this girl was "the one". She showed her true colors and proved to you that she wasn't. The reasons why she dislikes you right now is for a couple of reasons. One, you're bugging the hell out of her. And second, she knows she treated you like dirt and did you wrong. You contacting her is a constant reminder on how poorly she handled everything and how bad her behavior was. She'd rather not be reminded of that.

 

So, you're going to get the "move on" advice from me. But, I hope that you read this with your eyes and not your heart. You feel that she is making a mistake. Perhaps she is, but that's a mistake she has to live with because you don't have to. You need to go NC on her to heal from this betrayal. BUT! You also need to make positive changes in your life. If you're interested I'll tell you how to do that.

 

Dude, you might be one heartbreak away from the girl that you are TRUELY meant to be with. I believe that there's a girl out there that is totally perfect for you in every way. That is going to be proud to be your girlfriend and stand by your side no matter what. She's out there. And she waiting for you to find her. But, you're never going to find her if your so hung up on a girl that wants nothing to do with you.

 

I wish Chi Town was my dad.

[JDPT]

It appears that she checked out long ago since she swiftly found a replacement. My breakup was similar to yours I recall my ex screaming on the phone (screaming is something she NEVER did) saying "if I answer your ****ing questions would you leave me the fawk alone!?...don't call me, not text, no email, no nothing!!!!" I wasn't in shock but rather impressed at how adamant she was at me leaving her alone. I too couldn't understand what was going on as I thought our relationship was "wonderful". As previously stated, picking yourself up and moving forward is the only option we have here for you. Her feeling for you for some reason have deviated drastically and you too are no longer on the same page. It will be a rough journey from this point forward. Be prepared for many ups and downs and as cliché as this may sound there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to be strong and ride this one out.

[freewill95]

Time for you to move on. You don't want to hear that but it is for the best. Don't sit around and wonder what happened. This takes time and one day you will.

 

Recently this happened to me. Sometimes life circumstances throw you a curve ball...It just happens.

 

Think about this...why would want to be with a person like this anyway? It is always better to be with someone who respects and appreciates you for the right things. I don't mean this in a cruel way, but never let someone else determine your happiness. In a healthy relationship, it is mutual and self-giving.

 

Take some time off. Spend time with friends and family. Work on you. Get back to a healthy place where you are comfortable with yourself. In time you will be enlightened. People who do things the right way will eventually meet someone they can share their life.