MissingHerBad Posted November 9, 2004 Posted November 9, 2004 Ok ... so I wanna try make this one of my last posts on this subject matter so Im going to try word this clearly. It has now been a month and a half since my girlfriend broke up w/ me. She didnt initially think I would get so upset because she wasnt sure if I really loved her anyways. Time has gone on and I have played the fool, the no contact game and now thinking more clearly then I was ... the guy who really wants not to let that one go. Contact has been fairly minimal for the past month ... from time-to-time she will send me an email with some song lyrics or something ... nothing huge. Yesterday I had to ask a favour ... I questioned whether to even do it in the first place but then I thought that I would be ok with it. I dialed those 12 digits and her voice was on the other side ... lol. I asked her about the favour and then I just sparked a little small talk. Played it cool, then we got to talking and for the first time since we broke up I feel like I got through to her... like she had heard what I said. It was somewhat of a releif finally to say the least. She somewhat let me in as well telling me things that were actually (not talk) going on in her life. I was able to communicate some of my feelings more acuratly then before. We talked about the past and how much we had in common. I let her go (her sounding a little sad). Thats that. My question, if you guys have made it this far... Am I ****in kidding myself or what, it has been well over a month? She has had major feelings of resentment over the way I treated her in the relationship, however yesterday I didn't really see much off that. People say that I should forget about it but there not me. I just want to spend all my time with this girl. Unfortunately this girl is very complex and has some deep emotions. Can anyone really answer these questions. I also by mistake came clean about this girl that had called me on my phone, I told her that I gave the girl my number but that was it nothing more...ever. She started getting upset and tripping out saying why does this hurt so much. Again I felt bad. But I felt that it was somewhat of a good move...its not like anything happened. She kissed a guy once but she sais that that doesnt matter cause she was completely hammered?! I am somewhat tired of feeling this way and I am stressed out and have fallen way behind. I need to move on and I am moving on ... I have accepted the brake up but I feel like something is holding me here like a fairy tale or movie and I dont want to lose her. It is her birthday coming up. I wished her a happy bday yesterday in case I didnt see her but would still like to send her a card and a rose ... to much?
Devildog Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 Sometimes time apart is required for people to get over their hurt and anger. Basically what happens is you are not adding bad memories and the good memories which tend to stay with us longer seem to brighten the situation after awhile. I don't know how long you were int this relationship or how serious it was. I don't have any details on what caused the break up. But if she has been hurt by your actions and she needed to get some space to work on the issues, then you need to listen and not argue when you talk. Don't even defend your actions, just apologize for the actions you commited. I think a card and a rose would be a good gesture if you are trying to reconcile.
xxsilverdragonxx Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 In my experience, and from what I've learned on this site, time is really the only factor that you need to be concerned with. Now don't think I'm lame on the subject. I know it hurts really really bad. It's been a month since my breakup, and even though I'm trying to "live-on", it catches back up to me every now and then. The girl I was with I poured every ounce of my soul into. I HAVEN'T talked to her in a month. That fact alone is killing me. On the other hand, it's give me tons of free time to reflect about every facet in the relationship. But I know, that if I,the dumpee, would go back to her and initiate some kind of contact this soon, I think all it would do for her is bring me back into a picture that she doesn't want to see right now. My advice to you: Seems like your handling the contact with the minimal use of emotions. I think its ok to slip everynow and then, but keep up the conversation, just make it short. Maybe fish around with her mind for a little, trying to find out if she is thinking about resuming the relationship ever. If you get positive feedback from those "tiny" endeavors, then give it more time, and she should come upfront and tell you what you want to hear. Then, the balls in your court, and you can decide(and have the power), to do what you want. I hope that makes sense, but everyone on here has to post/read in order to help themselves; thats what I'm trying to do. It does seem we all have something in common here.
Author MissingHerBad Posted November 11, 2004 Author Posted November 11, 2004 I made a minor error or did I. Yesterday I just sent her a card. However cause of the holiday it wont reach her till after her bday. We were talking the night before and it was better then it had ever been then she left me for a few min and said her friend was on the phone....Lets be serious...my friends dont just call me to talk about nothing @ 1230 at night and after all our talking and her keeping me on the line she said well "thanks for talking to me". So I just said whatever and goodnight. I decided just to send the card otherwise I think Im just might make things weird again but I would sure love to send her a sweet box of roses. This girl is very emotional. It truly is a mystery to as whats going on in her head.
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