Looking for an answer!!

[Ben-H]

So my wife and I are high school sweethearts. We have been together for almost 14 years. We have 2 kids (9-3). She wants a divorce because of a lot of different reasons. I admit that I have not been the best husband/guy/dad but I really do love my wife and I'm still IN love with her. I have had an emotional relationship with another girl(IM only) while I was deployed(it started off as casual convo. and grew from there... i rarely spoke to my wife bc she always had school work to do. I would wake at 5am my time everyday to skype with her but she would be more focused on her work than talking to me so i started to talk to random people and then that girl came along)and I have told her everything about it. About a year ago we got into a huge fight... She was drunk and was trying to run out of the house in her underwear at around 2am bc she was "scared for her life." I ended up shutting the door on her arm by accident when I ran to stop her from leaving like that. I don't remember much after that... I was not drunk at all. She says that I said a lot of very hateful things to her as she was lying on the floor... All of which do not sound like anything I would remotely say. Long story short, cops were called no one was arrested, she had her arm x-rayed the next day and had no break and she wants a divorce. We still live together buy as roommates only. We have been intimate once a few weeks ago but she says that it's too weird and doesn't even want to hold my hand anymore. Here is the issue that I'm dealing with now and I am really concerned about: she got picked up by and went out last Friday with some guy that supposedly was a friend of a friend from her job but I know that she found him while searching for platonic relationships on Craigslist. She ended up coming home by cab around 4 and told me everything that happened which was pretty much nothing and that he is a weirdo who kept telling people that she was his wife or his girlfriend. She also told me about the guy that she had an interesting conversation with while at the bar she was at. Well, she is now texting him all the time and always has a smile on her face when she is doing it. I know that she is hiding something because she used to leave her phone around anywhere and always had to ask me if I knew where it was and now it won't leave her side even in the bathroom and she has a pass code for it. She also says that she is texting a long time friend but I know that when she talks to that long time girlfriend, she is actively talking to her on the phone and very rarely texts her... Especially with a smile on her face. I am desperately trying to show her that I still love and care for her very much and that I am changing for the better... I know this is a long story but I'm trying to get the best answer possible. Here is my question... Have I completely lost her?