Guitarisgood Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 I gave her the silent treatment over a month because she never made an effort to keep in touch and then when pressured by others in our circle (she was going through a tough time), I apologised (even if I didn't mean it) to smooth things up between us all. Then came her outburst and one particular thing that hit me was she said 'friends should be able to not see eachother for long long periods of times and then still be super tight when we do catch up even if we are too busy for each other in the mean time'. Now I bit my tongue on this to be honest. How I see it is, if you do not even have the time to shoot one email or message to see how your 'friend' is going, why do you consider each other friends? Should such friendships be based on your history and what you have been through? Any thoughts on this? I've changed in the past few years. Now I keep those whom make an effort close to me and those who don't try, I don't care as much about.
todreaminblue Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I dont understand why yoru friend had an outburst, if friends don't see or talk to each other for a while,that si part of life, and i beleive friendship is givng and understanding along with the contact I do believe that true and loving friends are friends for life regardless of how often you are in contact, I have had friends in the past who haven't replied to me or answered messages and when they contact me again I am happy to hear from them and we catch up on what we have missed, share what has been happening in our lives, because some times life gets busy....and the same goes for me, i lose contact with my friends, but i am blessed to have friends that are understanding of me.... people have set backs or reasons why they dont stay in contact regularly, and if you care abtou soemone why does that caring have to stop when you dont speak to them, you think of friends often,and i think you shoudl think fondly.......deb
Author Guitarisgood Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 I get what you mean and those are just friend friends is how I see it. The people whom you are not as close with. I mean if you are best mates with someone, how hard is it to take a few minutes or seconds from your life just to send a text or email to say hey? And this is not even once every now and then but like every few months or a year even. If said person had done this as most others do, I would not have cared at all but my view is if even throughout your friendship from the start if you have been always the one initiating, and when you stop and no effort is made, I don't see the point in keeping on trying or the other persons friendship self entitlement issues.
BeckyFontenot Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 We have the right to choose who we spend time with. You and her have different expectations of what friendship is...accept each others concepts of friendship and move on...no reason to get offended just find friends who are more like minded as you and are able to be the kind of friend that you desire. It's really very simple. 1
love1336x Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 (edited) That's tricky, and all depends on the type of relationship you have with a person.... I known this girl for about all my life. I met her when I was 12, and now I am 23. here the thing... our lives have taken us on different paths, where we didn't speak for months on end, but when we did reconnect it was like we never stop talking in the first place.... It's a bond that me and her have created. WITH other people... though if they don't make an effort to stay in my life because they are so "busy" and can't reply back to a simple text, then I feel the same way you do, they are not my friend. They are just some random person i know. If a person wants to stay in your life they will make some sort of effort... and not just you trying, and trying... Relationships, whether romantic, or not need LOVE, and communication, trust! Without that... it's pretty darn pointless. Edited August 22, 2013 by love1336x added more junk.
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