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Waking up in the morning is the hardest

Kizza

By Kizza
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Kizza Established Member

Kizza

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The first moment I open my eyes is the hardest. I have been away from it all in a beautiful land of sleep where I don't feel emotional pain, fear and confusion.

 

Then the alarm goes off and my eyes open and it all floods back in. My stomach immediately fills with that feeling of dread and sadness. I used to tell myself something positive and physically tell myself to get up! but that strength is dying.

 

It's too hard so I hit snooze and go back to sleep. Eventually I get up, dress and go to work. The day get's better as it wears on and I do manage even though all the whilst I would love to be back in bed sleeping away the time it will take to heal but I know that could be forever. I have to be out there living my life to heal.

 

I am set up to join an exercise program in mid September. This will mean getting up really early. I am hoping that this will help me to get up at 5am and be going straight off to do something before I have a chance to wake up and think about anything else. I hope this focus will help me but in the meantime the mornings are so hard.

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Dazzee Member

Dazzee

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I find night time the hardest. Knowing she isn't there, beside me... Feeling so lonely. I need to sleep with the TV on ever since it happened. Waking up is hard too, but as the day goes on you forget about things and get distracted. I feel as though I can't sleep until I am extremely tired and need to sleep... I hate it.

 

Times like right now, I want to sleep but I can't, so I think about her, I post about her, I look at the things I keep of her as memories... Photos, things she made, cards. I just wish I would die.

 

Good luck to you, I wouldn't know but, I've heard it gets better. I guess we can only hope.

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amtz Established Member

amtz

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Stay strong! We are all in the same boat! Three years ago someone busted my heart so bad and guess what happened? Nothing! Y fell in love again and again and three years later I'm crying for some other gril.

 

I to have a really hard time moving on the only thing I do is think of her, but as I read all the experiences out there I find peace and understand if its ment to be it will be if not you got to move on regardless.

 

Best of luck!

 

I'm here for you all

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Kizza Established Member

Kizza

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Yes I can't go to sleep without something on like music or tv to fill my head. TV I find is generally best because music can make it worse sometime for me.

 

I have to be super exhausted as well. I wake up tired... it sucks..I know we will get through it all but it is awful to wake up like this everyday.

 

I just need to go back to thinking a positive thought at the start of each day but it is so difficult.

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amtz Established Member

amtz

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Stick to NC what ever you do and if things get harsh log on and vent ASAP! Without LS many of us would be turned into alcoholics or even worse.

 

Keep in mind that you are not alone WE ARE ALL HERE TO SUPPORT! PM message me if you wish PM someone else out of the blue but don't contact your EX!! Heal your self FIRST thats all it matters. What your EX thinks of you or says and do at this point should be non of your concern. It only drags your progress.

 

I to like your self wake up in tears!

 

Will pray for you ;)

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theonlyjuan Established Member

theonlyjuan

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I agree with the nights being worse. I only feel like I miss mine when I am severely bored! Says a lot about me eh? lol

 

I exercise as soon as I wake up. You can take out your frustrations and bad feelings on exercise. It definatlly will help

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crederer Established Member

crederer

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I agree. The moment I wake up I think about her. I also wake up in the middle of the night all the time and think about her and cant get back to sleep for hours. But it is becoming less frequent for me. So, hang in there, it gets better.

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lovesucks76 Established Member

lovesucks76

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I agree. The moment I wake up I think about her. I also wake up in the middle of the night all the time and think about her and cant get back to sleep for hours. But it is becoming less frequent for me. So, hang in there, it gets better.

 

The same thing happened to me. The first week after the BU I would wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking and couldn't go back to sleep. I'm doing better now after 16 days.

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JDPT Established Member

JDPT

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Yes morning are the worst. The second I open my eyes this intense pain rushes my chest and makes it hard to breathe. I woke up this morning and its pretty bad, I'm not certain if its anxiety but I kept waking up every ten minutes just wishing things were the way they were in the past.

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Charlie79 New Member

Charlie79

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Mornings are bad. That second you open your eyes you are ok. Then I check my phone. No messages. Empty sinking feeling starts. And then the quick fb stalk lol....I cannot wait for this to end

 

I am going to force myself to the gym now. Who would want this miserable loser?! No one! I don't even like myself for how weak I am!!!!!!

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Kizza Established Member

Kizza

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Another morning only this one is different.

 

Drank too much wine last night. Broke NC. Sent a few snaps on snapchat and have no idea what I sent. Stupid!!! have deleted and blocked him from snapchat so can't do that again ever. It is worse knowing he opened them this morning and worse not remembering what they said.

donella99 Member

donella99

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Omg the same happens to me! It's very bad. Every time I wake up first thing on my mi d is HIM. Hits me hard like a hammer to a Hanvil

Vinsanity1307 Established Member

Vinsanity1307

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Mornings are horrid! I am almost 7 weeks since D DAY and 4 weeks today no contact. It takes me hours to fall asleep still , and then when I wake up and toss and turn with stomach pains and anxiety (tightness in the chest). I have no idea how long this will last but I am going through the same thing I feel for you....

amtz Established Member

amtz

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3 days NC today and let me tell you all it was hell!!! I had a rough time at work nearly broke into tears twice. All I want to do is get home run for a while and log to LS. FB is off limits even tough I deleted her I'm afraid I'll see something since we have so many friends in common.... MORNINGS are hell on earth to say the least first thing I do is wake up and check for any texts and nothing! With a military background and I tell myself "man up! Pain is weakness leaving the body." In times I feel desperate just thinking that this weekend would be the first without her specially sundays when it was our family day like going to the movies or eat some dinner drives me nuts!

 

No where else aside from LS I find PEACE! Hell I'm willing to facetime with anyone to hear their story and help them out! That will make things easier on me as well.

 

STAY STRONG WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH!!

 

Will pray for you all!

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Kizza Established Member

Kizza

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I am so glad I am not the only who finds it tough waking up. I just want it to end. It is the middle of the day and I want to go to sleep now and forget everything.

 

I hope we all get through it to one day start waking up again happy and ready to face the day. That point has to come soon that we will wake up and smile. It can't go on forever it just can't :(

Marblex3 Member

Marblex3

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Mornings are bad. That second you open your eyes you are ok. Then I check my phone. No messages. Empty sinking feeling starts. And then the quick fb stalk lol....I cannot wait for this to end

 

I aree! The first thing I do is check my phone...nothing. It's the worst. I want to text him so so badly, I won't, but I just wish he would contact me :( It sucks.

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Kizza Established Member

Kizza

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I am even left wondering. Is it really him I miss. Is that what makes me so awful or is it the fact I was rejected and more than likely replaced by what would be considered by him someone better.

 

That is the gut wrenching thing. I know in my head I am someones best and he will be mine but at this stage waking up every day with the knowledge that you are not someones best anymore is painful.

 

Couple that with all the crazy **** I have been doing to myself lately I then look at myself and say no wonder I am not his best! I am not my best! and that too is painful.

 

What has been more painful? Knowing I am not someones best or reducing myself to not even be my best for me because of all this. I don't know. I am confused.

JDPT Established Member

JDPT

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I woke up today and it's like clockwork, I open my eyes and this excruciating pain rushes my chest. I feel for that moment worthless, useless, guilty, embarrassed and with very low self esteem. What I did differently this morning was that as soon as I opened my eyes I jumped out of bed and didn't toss around feeling like crap. I intend on doing this every morning. The second I open my eyes whether I'm still sleepy or not, I'm jumping out of bed and moving along with my day. Today I also woke up wondering what she was up to and I know that if I don't eradicate those thought they will only end up becoming stronger and I will act on them before my better judgment. It already looks like it will be just another challenging day, I need to be strong.

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