Author Lostfairie Posted December 1, 2013 Author Posted December 1, 2013 So... In answer to your questions... He thinks I cheated on him bc some anonymous person sent him (and my bosses) an email from the other guy. It was from about a week after I broke up with him... And, if you've read any of the letters that I've posted from him on this thread, it was pretty intense... Declaring his love for me, telling me not to get back with BF... Anyway, ex felt that he couldn't possibly have felt that way a week after the end of the relationship if I hadn't cheated:-/ We've been broken up since the beginning of August, but we still technically lived together until the first of October, but, for much of September I went to my families lake house. He has initiated some conversations, but not most. And none for the last few weeks. What I posted above was all of our conversations since then. Just to be fair, I want to point out a few things... I told him when we parted that I was leaving the door open if he wanted to get back together under the condition of marriage and child, BUT I didn't want a long distance relationship and I was going to have to move on when I got a job... Well, I got a job two weeks later and moved. So, the point that he still said sweet things and made some kind of effort ended when he found out that I moved... So, I think that he thought I was through with any consideration at that point (which I really, really wanted to be, but, alas, I'm human), so I'm thinking he might be a bit confused about whether or not I want to be with him since I made that statement. As far as summarizing the relationships end... I have no clue where to even begin. Good relationship minus commitment and kids thing... Two month separation bc I moved and he had to finish his notice... At the end of which I found out he'd been cheating with one of my old (well young... She's 19!) employees:-/... I forgave him, things were okay for a while, but I didn't trust that it was real anymore... I had given up hope of having kids bc I was happy with him, but this made me realize I needed to fight for some things that were important to me, so, I put my foot down, he waffled, then I broke up with him. He immediately recanted, stating he would give me everything I wanted... Was so in love with me... Begged and pleaded for a few weeks... Then, one night I told him I wanted to get back together, and that's when he produced the letter and accused me of cheating... There's a lot more, but I think that's a pretty good brief synopsis... You can read the whole thread if you want the nitty gritty of it all... Thanks again marisposa and anyone else who responds!
chados Posted December 2, 2013 Posted December 2, 2013 most people lie sometimes to get an easy way out from small things. im not saying for sure he is a lier. but personally i dont like when people say, ive heard from this guy. i think you should ask this guy if he really told your ex youve been cheating. this is a couple of things that came to my mind when reading this. one of my friends told me that another friends brother had told him while drunk at a bar that i took steroids which isnt true.. i was a little confused so i called this guy up and he said, i cant remember who told me. bull****. one of my close friends hit on my girlfriend a couple of times when he was drunk. and i didnt make a big thing out of it. then one day another friend said that he heard from a guy i know that this friend that was hitting on my girlfriend brought her home. and he didnt know who told him. also bull**** and it wasnt true cause i was there that night. if i were you i would ask this guy the truth. i wouldnt buy it. when people refer to this guy or say they cant remember who told them, they are either covering up or they know theyve been lying to protect themself and get answers out of you.
flight E Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 There must be other guys outside your office that you can date
AlphaC Posted December 3, 2013 Posted December 3, 2013 (edited) So... In answer to your questions... He thinks I cheated on him bc some anonymous person sent him (and my bosses) an email from the other guy. It was from about a week after I broke up with him... And, if you've read any of the letters that I've posted from him on this thread, it was pretty intense... Declaring his love for me, telling me not to get back with BF... Anyway, ex felt that he couldn't possibly have felt that way a week after the end of the relationship if I hadn't cheated:-/ Lostfairie, I have been in your ex's shoes many times and I think you have done enough to show him that you want to work things out, you are compromising enough, if he doesn't appreciate or desire you than just let it go. Give yourself time and move on, do NOT date anyone in the near future, wait until you heal. That one guy in your office was a disaster waiting to happen. As far as him cheating with the 19 year old, I think you have to realize that even though he slept with this girl he didn't break up with you to be with her. A lot of guys sleep with girls on the side but they are not interested in dating them. Guys like myself like to know that we have options, and when girls throw themselves at us we get carried away. Sex for men is physical, no feelings are involved (unlike for women) and that's why very few men leave their girlfriends for the mistress. Most men love their women but enjoy their side shows, it brings excitement, spice to life. Now the man who breaks up with his Queen/girlfriend for a new woman or a side piece, this is a man that doesn't care about his girlfriend, this guy in my book is a loser and the woman he dumped should celebrate this guy's absence. Back to you Lost, your bf cheated but he never intended to replace you with her, this is a man who cares, in your next relationship whether its with him or another guy, don't let him sleeping with a girl ruin what you have built. I know a lot of women and men would say that cheating will never be tolerated, but if you read half of the stories by women on these boards, they have been dumped by their bf's for another girl. These women are crying for their cheating men to return and yet they will tell you that you should not tolerate cheating, go figure. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, I know it's hypocritical. Listen, all I am saying is that the fact that you are willing to move closer to your ex proves that you are a real woman with feelings, I wish you and him luck. Hopefully he realizes this before its too late. Edited December 3, 2013 by AlphaC
Author Lostfairie Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Hey guys, thanks for writing back! In response to your responses... Chados, I think I'm a little confused by yours... The letter was real, the question was only who sent it. Flight E, yes, I absolutely need to date someone I don't work with... It's gotten a bit ridiculous. I have a hard time falling for men that I don't get to know first. It's pretty tough to meet a guy, truly just be his friend for several months, and then potentially start dating. I also am pretty passionate about my career, so I end up falling for those who are as well... Anyway, regardless of the reason, it has to stop. Alpha... Hmmm... You make a lot of interesting points. Many of which I agree with. I forgave him bc I earnestly believed he did it bc he was lonely. That if we hadnt been apart, it never would have happened. I didn't believe that it meant much to him, so I forgave. Does anyone have any thoughts on what he has written to me? I just want to make sure that I'm not reading into this. Thanks guys!
chados Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Hey guys, thanks for writing back! In response to your responses... Chados, I think I'm a little confused by yours... The letter was real, the question was only who sent it. what i mean is that he couldnt have done it to see if you actually were cheating? only think that you should be careful since its common to do crazy things to get an answer.
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