HTS1977 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Split up 3 weeks ago, got my own place 2 days after she left so she could have the house with her 2 kids, and our daughter we share together. We were together 4 years, she finally had enough of my gambling and lying and wanted to be done. Then, I find out 2 weeks after I move out she wont let me see my daughter cuz she is going to the fair with the guy she was with before we got together and she split with him cuz he was cheating!!!!!...This guy is who she cheated on her ex husband with and why they divorced. Obviously she had been talking to him for a while, or she is looking for comfort and to feel less guilty about our break Im not sure. Either way, I am going to counseling, trying to focus on work. I have told her how I feel countless times and she is not receptive saying its too late we are completely done and not getting back together...(maybe because she is with this other guy or maybe a combination of my screw-ups) Lastly, after heart felt apologies and me changing the way I do things she still will not believe anything I say and I have been in no contact with her for 3 days now, she has not called or texted. I guess I play the waiting game and see if she comes around as she thinks I will never change? I know 3 weeks is not enough time to change, however I want her to know I am working on it and its a lifelong process but she wont give me the time of day, but I am the father of our daughter and she gives the guy who cheated on her another chance?!?!?!
barky2 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Split up 3 weeks ago, got my own place 2 days after she left so she could have the house with her 2 kids, and our daughter we share together. We were together 4 years, she finally had enough of my gambling and lying and wanted to be done. Then, I find out 2 weeks after I move out she wont let me see my daughter cuz she is going to the fair with the guy she was with before we got together and she split with him cuz he was cheating!!!!!...This guy is who she cheated on her ex husband with and why they divorced. Obviously she had been talking to him for a while, or she is looking for comfort and to feel less guilty about our break Im not sure. Either way, I am going to counseling, trying to focus on work. I have told her how I feel countless times and she is not receptive saying its too late we are completely done and not getting back together...(maybe because she is with this other guy or maybe a combination of my screw-ups) Lastly, after heart felt apologies and me changing the way I do things she still will not believe anything I say and I have been in no contact with her for 3 days now, she has not called or texted. I guess I play the waiting game and see if she comes around as she thinks I will never change? I know 3 weeks is not enough time to change, however I want her to know I am working on it and its a lifelong process but she wont give me the time of day, but I am the father of our daughter and she gives the guy who cheated on her another chance?!?!?! I can only advise you to do about one thing.....and that's yourself. You seem to be getting a grip on your gambling , but you need to seriously take a step back from all of this and focus on you. Its written all over the boards here for a reason, focus on yourself. Right now she isn't coming back, and there's nothing you can do about it. You'd be a idiot to play the waiting game because what happens if she never does? You need to let go...stop pining. Take care of yourself. You obviously know what you have to work on....so start there...enough with her for a little bit. Go hangout with friends, gym, hobbies. DO SOMETHING! But better yourself in the process. 3 days is nothing, shes thinking of you, but she's wrapped with some other dude right now...and I've been there, ain't shat you can do. Oh wait there is one thing you can do, bug the piss out of her and beg for her and that'll lead to her losing attraction and pushing her away. Barky
Author HTS1977 Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 yah barky I gathered that...for the first 2 weeks all I did was try and talk to her about what I would do for our family and she was no, not going to happen attitude...so since the last time I poured my heart out to her I told her I accept that we are not together, and she knows how I feel about things and the ball is in her court now. Its her decision nothing I can say can make her want to make things work. I hope that since its been 3 days she is realizing that I am serious about it, and know it could take 13 days, 130days, if ever. The problem I have is we have a daughter, I barely get to see her now because I work opposite shifts as my EX, used to be I had my daughter every day now its once a week and I have to keep contact to minimum with ex in that time =/
barky2 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 yah barky I gathered that...for the first 2 weeks all I did was try and talk to her about what I would do for our family and she was no, not going to happen attitude...so since the last time I poured my heart out to her I told her I accept that we are not together, and she knows how I feel about things and the ball is in her court now. Its her decision nothing I can say can make her want to make things work. I hope that since its been 3 days she is realizing that I am serious about it, and know it could take 13 days, 130days, if ever. The problem I have is we have a daughter, I barely get to see her now because I work opposite shifts as my EX, used to be I had my daughter every day now its once a week and I have to keep contact to minimum with ex in that time =/ Ball is def in her court. Leave it there. Let go of all hope. I'm so sorry for having a child in the mix of this..mine was hard enough without having a child in the mix. Continue no contact. " this too shall pass" is tatted on me for a reason. If you out in the hard work to change yourself and make yourself better, whatever you want, you will get. But you will not get it doing nothing. You'll be fine....that I can promise. Barky
Author HTS1977 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Torture...usually try and call my daughter to talk to her befor she goes to bed, its only been 3 weeks but I miss her terribly...ex doesn't answer phone and now I find out why... My neighbor txt me out of the blue, there is a motorcycle in my driveway...she moves fast, bringing new guy around my 2 yr old
barky2 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Torture...usually try and call my daughter to talk to her befor she goes to bed, its only been 3 weeks but I miss her terribly...ex doesn't answer phone and now I find out why... My neighbor txt me out of the blue, there is a motorcycle in my driveway...she moves fast, bringing new guy around my 2 yr old What you do need is to stop thinking of that bs. Let ur neighbor to kindly stop giving you updates. If you think its time...go file for visitation. Today may be bad...but this too shall pass. Grow strong. I had a friend of mines fiancé kicked him out, he moved up to Boston, she had met someone, he moved in after 2 weeks. He was torn up. He focused on himself, after a month he finally talked to his son for the first time...she tried to weasel her way back into my boys life. Long story, she kicked new guy out and stupidly my boy moved back in. They just had another child....he's miserable. Be careful what you wish for. Barky
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