terminus1256 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 First off I want to thank anyone who responds in advance for their help. So I've been seeing this girl for a little over a month now. We went out on our first date in mid July, before which she gave me the caveat that she just got out of a relationship and that we would have to take it slow. I was fine with that, and the date went amazing. We saw each other a few times more that week, when she pulled out of thin air that she wanted to be friends because she didn't think she was ready for a relationship. I immediately assumed that she wasn't interested in me and told her that I didn't like that because I wanted more. I stopped talking to her completely for a few days before she texted me out of the blue asking to talk. She came over and essentially said that she was tilling to take a chance because she liked me a lot. She said that she would "try" to make it work. Apparently her previous relationship left her with some trust issues, as she described it. Fast forward a month, and things were going great. We had hooked up a few times, I had met all of her close friends, we were essentially "seeing" each other. Then a few days ago she just comes out again and says that she was scared still and having doubts. She said that in her prior relationship her boyfriend had stopped caring about her randomly and she went through months where she was just hanging along for his attention. When she told me that she was still having doubts but still liked me a lot, she also mentioned that she didn't want to string me along because she still didn't feel she was ready. My response to this was along the lines of "you know what I want, and maybe you should just give me a call when you're ready". We haven't talked since and it's pretty much no contact from here out. I just need some advice on maybe what's going through her head. Was she ever into me? Did I screw up along the way? Was she "damaged goods"? Things seemed perfectly fine when this flew up out of nowhere. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.
phineas Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Who knows. But she's on the path to treating you like her ex treated her. You are doing the right thing & i'd suggest not giving her a 3rd chance to waste your time. I've been where you are and EVERY time I got left in the dust with nothing to show for my investment in time & energy. I now tell women who aren't ready to date to call me when they are ready to date. 1
Author terminus1256 Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Quick update - we ran into each other a few times over the past few weeks around campus and they were just us pretty much saying hi and walking by. After a while of no contact I then received a text earlier today that's here: Look, I was thinking. Nd I hate this whole awkward bumping into u thing. Nd it bugs me that that's how it is now. I don't really know how to solve this situation exactly, but I at least would like to have some sort of exchange whenever I randomly see u around campus. Not sure what to do. I am still very much interested in her. What does this mean? Should I just ignore it? Not sure what to do here. Thanks for the help
travelbug1996 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 She's confused and her confusion is rubbing off on you. I would say just speak and keep it moving. Find another girl to like that's available and doesn't have the same hangups. When somebody says they're not ready they really mean it so save yourself some pain and cut it off. I would tell her "being on speaking terms is all I have to offer right now". She's waiting for this other guy to come back. Leave her be. She's just using you for an ego stroke.
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