365daysgone Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 So I wouldn't really call it a date but I am meeting a girl tonight that Ive talked to through POF for a few days. Any ideas for some conversations? I think as long as I can keep my anxiety under control, we shall be gold with it, but ya...so far I'm not even nervous...should be good but I haven't been on a date since I was 16 (I'm 24 now) and that was probably the worst date in the history of Earth. But I was terribly shy in high school.
Love2326 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Ask about her. Find out about her interests, background, family, work, etc. Get to know who she is as a person. Maybe you guys have similar interests... ?
ThomasD Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 You can start by referring to something she said in your online conversations. (I know that "group dates" sound like a geeky, pathetically old-fashioned idea but having another couple along to set the pace, start (and guide) conversation, make suggestions, etc, has a lot of merit.)
TouchedByViolet Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Congrats on getting the date. Ask open ended questions, and enjoy yourself.
Skyraider829 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 So I wouldn't really call it a date but I am meeting a girl tonight that Ive talked to through POF for a few days. Any ideas for some conversations? I think as long as I can keep my anxiety under control, we shall be gold with it, but ya...so far I'm not even nervous...should be good but I haven't been on a date since I was 16 (I'm 24 now) and that was probably the worst date in the history of Earth. But I was terribly shy in high school. You spoke over POF, right? Or did you call and talk with her over the phone? Do you both share any common interests? I'd vote for finding something that interests her which also spikes your intrigue as well and shoot for that. Good luck! Stay cool.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 We only spoke online. Looking forward to it though!
FemmeMystere Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 So I wouldn't really call it a date but I am meeting a girl tonight that Ive talked to through POF for a few days. Any ideas for some conversations? I think as long as I can keep my anxiety under control, we shall be gold with it, but ya...so far I'm not even nervous...should be good but I haven't been on a date since I was 16 (I'm 24 now) and that was probably the worst date in the history of Earth. But I was terribly shy in high school. Congrats on the date Give yourself a little extra time to get ready, because pre-date jitters + rushing = not good. If you have a favorite shirt that folks always say you look good in, wear it. It'll make you feel more confident. Try to get there a little early, that way, you have time to sort yourself out, and it makes a good first impression. A little booze might calm your nerves, but don't overdo it on the alcohol. It's way easy to gulp down too much when you're nervous. Be curious about her life and ask her questions to take the focus off your nerves. Take turns playing the "two lies and a truth" game, where you tell her two things about you that are lies, and one thing that's the truth, and she has to guess which is which. And finally, relax and have fun. A little silence is okay sometimes and doesn't have to be "awkward." When you feel that the date is naturally winding down, tell her you've got to get going. If you had a good time, ask her out again Good luck!
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Wow. Great. I believe I just got stood up. Waited until 8:15. I knew something was up. When I was texting her yesterday saying where to meet she randomly changes the subject and says "Im going to ______" (the store I work at). Then I had to ask again later where to meet. Also, yesterday I had asked to get together tonight but then I was later referring to today as Wednesday. I realized this later on and said "Wait. Why was I saying Wednesday?" And she responded by saying "haha I was wondering this too but didn't say anything." Well why the hell wouldn't you say anything? Unbelievable! She seemed really nice. What the f***!?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 And when I texted her at 4 today to confirm the time and place, no responce back.
Skyraider829 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Wow. Great. I believe I just got stood up. Waited until 8:15. I knew something was up. When I was texting her yesterday saying where to meet she randomly changes the subject and says "Im going to ______" (the store I work at). Then I had to ask again later where to meet. Also, yesterday I had asked to get together tonight but then I was later referring to today as Wednesday. I realized this later on and said "Wait. Why was I saying Wednesday?" And she responded by saying "haha I was wondering this too but didn't say anything." Well why the hell wouldn't you say anything? Unbelievable! She seemed really nice. What the f***!? So sorry to hear this occurred. But like I said, you can't read personality through a computer monitor. Sometimes what is written in profiles is exaggerated.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 What do you mean? Because I said she seemed nice? Ok well even if she seemed mean, who the **** does this? Who goes on a dating website and plans to meet guys and stands them up? What do you get from this? I hope she realizes I've been screwed over so many times in my life that I'm not letting this go. I will be pleasant until I get ahold of her in case she has a legitimate reason. But if she purposely screwed with me, giving me her number will be the biggest mistake she had ever made in her life. I am not tolerating **** like this from people anymore.
BradJacobs Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 What are you going to do? Yell at her? And it accomplishes what? You got stood up. Get over it and move on. Start filtering out people better by talking on the phone first instead of this email to text junk. That's bush league.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 It's not just being stood up. She was bull****ting me from the beginning. I have a feeling she does this to everyone. It will make me feel a lot better and maybe she will stop. Stupid ****ing bitch.
FemmeMystere Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 What do you mean? Because I said she seemed nice? Ok well even if she seemed mean, who the **** does this? Who goes on a dating website and plans to meet guys and stands them up? What do you get from this? I hope she realizes I've been screwed over so many times in my life that I'm not letting this go. I will be pleasant until I get ahold of her in case she has a legitimate reason. But if she purposely screwed with me, giving me her number will be the biggest mistake she had ever made in her life. I am not tolerating **** like this from people anymore. Unfortunately, it happens way too often. Earlier this year when I'd first started dabbling in OLD, I was stood up by a guy who I was supposed to be meeting for coffee. I wasn't too torn up because it was a place right down the street from where I work - but how rude! He did give me signs that he was a flake, much like your non-date did. He was noncommittal about making plans, didn't confirm when I texted him that day etc, but I decided to go anyway. I ordered a nice latte and a slice of cake, and read a few chapters of a book I'd brought along. He hadn't shown by the time my food was gone, so I left. He texted an apology and preposterous explanation the next day. I wrote back as if I didn't notice he wasn't there ("the cake was delicious!" ). He tried several times reschedule a date, but I ignored him. No call/no show = no second chance. IMO, it's really not worth getting upset over. It happens to the best of us, and shouldn't be taken personally by you. Don't bother trying to hatch some messy revenge plot either, the potential consequences aren't worth it. Just move on, and don't let an immature, ill-mannered little girl occupy your headspace. 3
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Ya well this is the reason I hate this world. This is the reason i hate people because every single time I try to be nice, every time I make friends with someone I get burned. Every time. I haven't met a single honest, caring person in my life. They burn me every time. I am seeing girls are just as bad as guys. And people say I am quiet and don't talk. At least I don't spout bull**** to people and coat everything I say with these little symbolic messages that others are supposed to interpret. If I ask someone out, ****ing say yes or no. All this advice of say this to a girl, don't say this to a girl, what does this mean, what does that mean. It's bull****. I can't speak? These mother****ers can't speak! Bite their ****ing tongues. 1
Skyraider829 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 It's not just being stood up. She was bull****ting me from the beginning. I have a feeling she does this to everyone. It will make me feel a lot better and maybe she will stop. Stupid ****ing bitch. Whoa, whoa, partner. Hold up. You are flying off the deep end. You have a FEELING she does this? Well I got news for you bud, reasoning whilst in an emotional rage will get you nowhere. You do not KNOW for a FACT she did. I am not saying she didn't. And like one commenter said, are you going to go yell at some chick you barely know? Good luck with that. You'll come off as a major league gas bag. If its ticking you off this bad then drop it entirely. Forget it. Don't call her, get off the OLD sites and go meet someone in person.
Skyraider829 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Ya well this is the reason I hate this world. This is the reason i hate people because every single time I try to be nice, every time I make friends with someone I get burned. Every time. I haven't met a single honest, caring person in my life. They burn me every time. I am seeing girls are just as bad as guys. And people say I am quiet and don't talk. At least I don't spout bull**** to people and coat everything I say with these little symbolic messages that others are supposed to interpret. If I ask someone out, ****ing say yes or no. All this advice of say this to a girl, don't say this to a girl, what does this mean, what does that mean. It's bull****. I can't speak? These mother****ers can't speak! Bite their ****ing tongues. Excuse me? If I'm reading this correctly you're saying that everyone's advice is BS? Okay then, so be it. Go have your little fit. Throw a tantrum and act like a sourpuss. But keep your spiteful ranting to yourself. I don't think the people on here, who were doing nothing but backing you (myself included) want read about it. You need to work your problems out.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Not the advice on here. Sorry. That's not what I am referring to. You know I appreciate the advice I get on here.
Skyraider829 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Not the advice on here. Sorry. That's not what I am referring to. You know I appreciate the advice I get on here. Well I retract what I said then. I apologize in return. Dude, its hard but come on - this is one of the reasons why OLD isn't such a snappy deal, get it? Forget about the girl. Start fresh. You learned something here. You cannot go around with a bleak outlook on dating - or people in general. You will not get ahead if you do. Your confidence was up and bountiful and look at all of what you wrote. That mentality is going to get you nowhere but a direct route to low self-esteem and insecurities. Do you want that? Use your head - THINK. Stop feeling so much and use some reasoning.
Lansing Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Dude, you stood yourself up... I know you are angry about this... but, you should really work on yourself and not focus so much on meeting girls. You said she wasn't responding to messages and when you confirmed the date she didn't respond. YOU shouldn't have even bothered showing up at that point and assumed it was dead right then. If she DID go and contacted you again you would just say she wasn't responding. Shows you have more respect for yourself and your own time. I really dislike when girls aren't straight. I would much prefer a "hey, this isn't working" message than the ghost move that a lot of girls pull.
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Why do you say I have more respect for myself and my own time?
StanMusial Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 OP, have you ever tried to pull a girl for digits or sex or whatnot in person before?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 I don't care about sex. I want a nice girl that I can talk to and become friends with.
Skyraider829 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I don't care about sex. I want a nice girl that I can talk to and become friends with. Hopefully, you'll come across one that respects that and expects the same from you. What about Marianne, the swimming instructor?
Author 365daysgone Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 I'm going to text her today but do me a favour and edit your post to remove her name.
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