danlightbulb Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Hello all. I'm confused about what next step I should take here. First of all I am aware that I may just be in denial about the situation,however let me explain. I have been on 3 dates with a lovely woman. We last spoke on the phone last Monday (1 week ago) and as she was very busy last week I said I would phone back Monday (yesterday) to arrange something with her for this week. Last Thursday we had a quick exchange by text message and the final message was her saying to me 'have a good weekend, speak to you monday x'. At the weekend she went to a music festival where she camped for 4 days. She came back yesterday (Monday). I attempted to call her as promised, no answer. I followed it up with a text message last night, no reply. Today, I phone again, no answer. Again I follow it up with a simple message saying 'Hi, Ive been trying to get in touch. Is everything ok? x'. No reply. So I'm quite confused at this point. I wouldn't think she is the type to simply ignore me (but you never know). And the last text exchange last week was friendly and quite normal. I'm wondering if its possible she has lost her phone and can't get in touch with me. And I'm fully aware that this could be me being in denial and clutching at straws. I picked her up on our last date, so I could call round her house, or drop a letter through the door. However I don't know what to do at this point. If she is deliberately ignoring me then I don't know what reaction calling round her house may have. Please help.
petall Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Don't go round her place, that would be creepy and putting yourself too much out there. Leave things for a few days or even a week then call/text her just once more. If she has lost her phone, she would surely get a replacement by then. If she hasn't lost it and doesn't reply, then she's ignoring you. It sounds like she's just been busy, since you say she only got back yesterday from the festival. Give her some space and see what happens.
Author danlightbulb Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 I was worrying over nothing. She just phoned me, we are going out tomorrow. She had been busy. So I'd like to turn this post over to a different question if I may. Why am I so god damn insecure and why do I worry too much.
Love2326 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Dan, DEFINITELY don't go to her place, don't drop a letter under her door, don't do ANYTHING. You have made it clear that you want to speak to her, she's ignoring you becuase: 1) she's not into you at all, or 2) she met someone else and she's pursuing that relationship. No matter how busy she is at work, if she likes you, she'll take 10 seconds to send you a text like "sorry i'm crazy busy at work right now, but I will call you later". She hasn't done that. You're not worth 10 seconds to her. You are making the classic excuse of "maybe she lost her phone". Come on man! Who loses their phone these days?? People are glued to their phone! And if something happens to it, they'll run right out and buy another one! Text messages may be lost on the old phone, but voicemails aren't. Sorry to tell you buddy, but she's probably not into you. A guy who is pushy is soooo unattractive to a woman. Yuk. Dont' play these games. If she wants to speak to you, she'll call or text you. LEAVE IT ALONE. You might have to kiss this one goodbye. She's being pretty clear about it. Look for someone better!
Love2326 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Well there you go. Do not be pushy! You should realize what you're worth, and so should she. Make sure you pick someone who understands that!
ChatroomHero Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I don't think it's insecure to discuss having a call on Monday and not getting a response until Wednesday or whatever and wondering whats going on. She easily could have texted you yesterday. Being too busy to text someone is the same as being too busy to yawn, it takes as much effort to yawn. I can understand if Monday she didn't feel like talking on the phone but not responding is kind of disrespectful. I bet if you looked at her phone, between monday night and when you got a response, I bet she made 5 calls and texted 5 people. Imo its not insecure to expect a little respect when you call a woman and expect her not to ignore you two days. But glad you got the date. Hope it goes well.
nescafe1982 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Early-stage dating is an insecure place to be. I don't think it's you... it's the situation you're in as someone who is dating. The beginning of an emerging relationship is such an ambiguous time and the potential for folly is great. It's also a time when you're putting yourself out there with a very real chance of being rejected. It's totally normal to feel a little insecure during the early stages, common, really. The tough part is not acting out of that insecurity and putting forward your best, most confident self. Glad it worked out!
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