cabooseRVB Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Hey everyone, I am a new user and I created this account because I could really use some advice, particularly from the female perspective. I am a 19 year old male and I have been seeing this woman who is 29. We have been hanging out a couple times a week and met her when I was bartending. We have gone to a few parties together and we go to the bar(as is her preference) and have a good time together when we see each other. This has been going for a few weeks now. We have not made anyone aware of our relationship due to the fact that we work in close proximity to each other and it is against policy. After hanging out a few times we discussed the issues that work presented and she told me that if a serious relationship were to happen between us then we would simply keep it quiet, which I am perfectly happy with. About three days after we started hanging out we were at the bar. We were the only patrons in the bar and it was about 2AM and we were playing pool and having a good time. After a good shot on her part she was excited and we started to hug. As someone genuinely interested in her I decided that it was a good time to feel out the situation and kiss her, to which she responded as I had hoped and kissed me back. For the next two weeks we would meet up 2-3 times a week and go out to parties or go to her favorite bar. After each time with her I made sure that I was firm with my intentions and make sure I kiss her good night which tends to become a small makeout every time I take her home at night. One day she came into the bar I work at for a beer before work and we were alone. At this point I decided to discuss with her where she felt things were going with us and where she hoped to be. Her response was that she liked me and that she wanted to be together but that she wanted to take it slow and not rush into things because that is what she did with her most recent relationship. This is easily understood and I am fine with taking things slow if that is the case. Now, I tend to be fairly neurotic when it comes to women and over analyze many things and usually speak with my sister to help talk through things, but I wanted some different perspective. It hasn't been long at all, only 4 weeks that we have been talking and seeing each other, but I always initiate the contact and often struggle to contact her altogether. However, when we are together she seems interested and has a good time and always reciprocates the kiss at the end of the night. These seem like mixed signals and I would really appreciate a female's perspective to help me grasp the situation. I understand the gap in age can be a barrier but I really enjoy being with her and am trying my best to keep my cool and go with the flow as I don't want to be clingy. I try to keep my neurotic side at bay because I know it is often unwarranted. As I said, I really enjoy being with her and I want things to work out, but I need to know if she is merely taking things slow or if she is backing out.
Skyraider829 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 I try to keep my neurotic side at bay because I know it is often unwarranted. Wise idea. Irrationality deserves no place in a potential relationship although it can be tricky at times not to let it out. As I said, I really enjoy being with her and I want things to work out, but I need to know if she is merely taking things slow or if she is backing out. Has this girl explained any of the details of her prior relationship? If not, I wouldn't think much of the present circumstances at all. I assume she does like you in return probably just as much as you like her since she always kisses you. But this is just my own perspective. Oh and don't let the "age factor" heckle you. Ten years is nothing. To some extent it can be a relative thing but if you two hold well together, don't even think about it. I had an "internet friendship" with a lovely French-Canadian girl who was a nurse that happened to be eight, almost nine years older than I, and we clicked really well over the web. If I had the funds, I would've flown up there to see her. For now, I recommend going with the flow and not thinking much of it. But keep up on her. She may just prefer that you make the contact.
stillafool Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 She's probably waiting for you to initiate sex so she can blow your mind. Have fun.
thefooloftheyear Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Sounds like an immature, drunken, party girl...Have fun, maybe, but dont get attached... Good grief.. TFY
Author cabooseRVB Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 (edited) She's probably waiting for you to initiate sex so she can blow your mind. Have fun. I will be the first to admit that I have zero experience with older women, but how does limited contact open up the possibility of sex? (<----Slight disbelief mixed with genuine interest) Edited August 20, 2013 by cabooseRVB
Recommended Posts