nightporter Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 (edited) My girlfriend of 5 years left me Last month. Ive had to move out of the flat we shared and move back to my home town to stay with my parents (Im 25 years old:() It was entirely my fault!! For nearly our entire relationship I have had "grass is greener syndrome". Its not that i wasnt madly in love with her, more that I just couldnt help but worry about spending your whole life with someone and never knowing what experiences you may have missed out on. She on the other hand knew exactly what she wanted (apparently me, forever) she was very emotionally dependent on me and I think this made me more withdrawn. She would have done anything for me and all she wanted in return was to feel secure and for me to let her know that I intended to spend my life with her. Anyway, she started a new job last year and I was working a job with very unsociable hours which put a lot of strain on us. Things got bad for a while but then a couple of months ago its like a switch went in my head, all the commitment issues ive ever had and all the walls i put up from being hurt in the past all came down and I just knew that she was the one. I knew that if I have her I dont need anything else, I dont need to worry about missing out on excitement or adventure because coming home to her is all the adventure I'd ever need. I suddenly believed in love again. Her birthday was coming up and I had plans to take her out, tell her how sorry I am for the way i'd been over the last 5 years and tell her that I intend to spend everyday of the rest of my life making up for it. I was also planning to take her away and propose as soon as I could could afford to. Here's where it all went wrong. The morning of her bday she seemed distant. I asked what was wrong, she said nothing but I kept pushing. eventually she tells me that she's been so lonely over the last year because of the hours I was working and my reluctance to reassure her in the relationship and now her feelings for me have changed. She went to stay with a friend, said she needed time to think. A week later she tells me its over. Its been more than a month now. We spoke the other day, I wanted one last chance at winning her back but she wasnt interested and she told me that shes been on a date with some guy from work. Its killing me. I think about every second of the day. The hardest thing is that its all my fault. How could it have taken me 5 years to figure out that all I want in life is her. I keep thinking that if only i hadnt asked what was wrong the morning of her birthday, things wouldnt have gone this way. When I saw her the other day I told her that if she needs to go and figure out who she is without me then I have to acccept that but that im certain we are meant to be together and that unless she tells me that she is 100% sure that she isnt coming back to me then I would wait for her. She said 'i cant tell you that because im not sure, i dont know if this is the right thing to do but i have to do it'. What does that mean??? what am I supposed to do. I love her more than anything, she is my best friend and my family. Its been a month since she left and I still feel sick all day everyday. I just think of her and have conversations with her in my head all the time. People keep saying 'just go out and meet someone else' but i cant. its not that ive ever had problems attracting girls, but i cant even find anyone else attractive at the minute, she is all i want. ADVICE PLEASE!!! Edited August 20, 2013 by nightporter
barky2 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 If you re read my threads, I also had gigs and wanted to see other girls, I was a complete douche. I left. Begged for her back. She told me she met someone else. Here the thing and you might hate me but its what I was told on her when I presented my situation.....you deserve what's happening right now. You took her for granted...when this girl devoted it all to you. That's the bad news. She's now, wanting to see what's going on outside of you by dating other people. Let her. Find out what you want. You hurt this girl, and as mean as this sounds....deal with what ever comes with it. People on here just may jump down your throat, so be prepared . Advice? Sure, let her go. Let her have her fun. Let her heal. For you? That's simple isn't it? FIND OUT WHAT YOU TRULY WANT IN LIFE. Because IMA tell you what, if she came back now, Ud get the same feelings you had when all this started and Ud hurt her again. Go NC and leave her be, especially if she has someone new and shiny...your her emotional support while she gets to know this dude. My ex rebounded, I went nc, it lasted a month. Don't sit and wait. Go do you and be yourself. Unfortunately, I did the same mistakes as you, and I know how you feel. Been there bro. Take a breath. Barky
forgetmenot75 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Ive just read the first few lines. Nothing is your fault. If she'd loved you, she wouldn't care at all where on hearth you'd moved: she'll follow you. you know she's not interested from that day you noticed she was pulling away. she might had fallen out of love. **** happens. Move on 1
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