whatiswrongwithme Posted November 9, 2004 Posted November 9, 2004 It seems after a year of pretty intense dating the ride is finally about over. i am so heartbroken. it is so stupid, i knew from the get go that this was a dead end situation and that nothing would ever come out of it but hurt. but nevertheless i stupidly let myself fall deeply in love with this man. we never had sex, but we did everyting else. but it was the emotional level of the situation that was the most. we were so into one another, talking multiple times a day, seeing each other almost every day. and just having so much fun. then all of a sudden BAM he hardly calls, rarely sees me. and i ask him what the deal is. he says he still wants to see me and doesnt want me to stop calling hiim, like i asked him if he wanted. i know it wll hurt if thouse things are true, but as i told him i would rather he just out and said so so i could just deal with it all at once. so i dont know what the deal is. i know some of you will be alllike he is over you. blah blah , and maybe that is true. but i feel so broken up about this i need words of encouragement please. i am pretty sure the thing to do is not call him anynmore and see if he calls me. then i will know where he stands. i started to say just call me when you want to see me, but i wimped out. i am so afraid he wont call, and i know that probably answeres my question right there. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!
Owl Posted November 9, 2004 Posted November 9, 2004 Its an addiction. Relationships are like that...and it seems especially true of the "affair" type relationships. And your decision of doing an all or nothing is right on the money...the only way for both of you to try to get past it is cold turkey. It sux...I feel for you, but its the only thing you can do. Just be strong, move on in your life, lean on your friends and family when you're feeling weak, and let it go. Good luck!
kim874 Posted November 9, 2004 Posted November 9, 2004 As painful as it is, establishing no contact may be the best way to distance yourself from what has happened. Don't take his phone calls or email. It's like any other breakup--it hurts, but it's easier to focus on your life if the other person isn't around as a reminder. Affairs are usually a dead end road, it doesn't mean that you don't fall in love, don't have hopes for a future with the married person. But don't allow this MM to try to keep a line to you--I think it would just lead to further false hopes that this man isn't willing to invest in. Is he going to work on his marriage, is he just staying with the wife for comfort? Who knows, but he no longer wants a relationship with you and he has no right to expect you to be friends or be there for him when HE needs you.
whichwayisup Posted November 9, 2004 Posted November 9, 2004 Think of it as smoking. A bad habit that you got yourself into. Less and less contact, no more emails... You might have withdrawal symptoms etc, but you will feel so much happier and free once you are on your own and not having him in your life. It will hurt but it will be worth it in the end. Best of luck to you, rely on your friends/family and pamper yourself! Put YOU first. Forget everything else!
2Confuzed Posted November 19, 2004 Posted November 19, 2004 If we're thinking positive here, I would be apt to say that he may just be dealing with home issues. He may have a lot going on and he may need to focus on that. However, I would be more inclined to say that he knows how to use a phone. How long does it take to make a simple call to let someone know you are thinking about them? That is the least he could do. Has he ever implied that he was interested in getting a divorce? You said you knew it was a dead end situation, so I am wondering if he ever lead you to be believe otherwise. I know how much it hurts, I've been there. Who knows why a MM does one thing one day, then the total opposite the next. If we knew what they were thinking, most of us wouldn't need LS. I think the best thing to do is to talk to him about it. I know it hurts terribly but you have to find out what's going on. For your own sake, be honest with him and yourself. It's hard to be strong in times like these, but you have to do what's right for you. You can't hang onto someone who isn't giving you any rope.
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