Ciel0 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 The guy I have a huge crush on works as a barista. Even knowing that I'll see him makes my adrenalin go through the roof. My hands get very shaky! It's super embarrassing to hand him money or grab my drink when my hands are like that. Could he figure out I like him? What would you think if you were in his position? I'm worried he will ask me why my hands are shaking one day... "I'm kind of in love with you, that's why." I wouldn't want to creep him out, but I don't want to lie! The guy seems shy and I don't want to scare him off. Thank you for your greatly appreciated help! 1
Philosoraptor Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Are you flirty, blushing, smiling, or anything else when you are doing this? If not, I'd honestly think you had some sort of nerve issue and try not to notice it.
Author Ciel0 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 I really don't know how to have a deeper conversation with this guy...I get so nervous! I guess I can start with something like "Hey, how long have you been working here?" Socializing is not my strong point. Lol I do have a subtle tremor but when I see this guy it becomes way obvious =/ 1
ascendotum Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Would your voice get all shaky as well if you were to talk to him about anything other than your order. If I saw your hands shaking and you were ordering coffee I would laugh and suggest maybe a cup of chamomile tea would be better off for your nerves. If he thought you were cute explaining why your hands were shaky would just endear you to him, but if he didn't he would feel a little weird but it would be no big deal. I doubt he would give you a hard time, just not follow through on chatting you up, which wont be that bad in terms of embarrassment. Maybe start getting your coffee with your friend and they can hand over the $ and you can just make convo with him while giving off smiles + good eye contact, and hopefully flirting will develop more each day. 2
Author Ciel0 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 Thanks ascendotum! :-) I doubt he would ask that but somehow it still worries me lol. I have no idea how he feels though... On few occasions I showed up with my cousin and I really noticed him looking at us . After that he seemed a bit...cold. He was always sweet, and I was perplexed when he handed me the drink and barely payed me notice. It occured to me that he could've mistaken my cousin for my bf ='( It's been awhile since then and he is back to his old kind self. (Maybe he was just having a tough day??) I have noticed him looking at me ( mom did too once). He seems shy so his signals are hard to read!
Stefanie Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Clearly, he's noticed you. In a good or bad way, hard to say. Generally speaking, guys like a confident girl. I know what it's like to lose all your grace when you're in the presence of someone who blows you away. But if he's going to even consider getting to know you, he'd probably like to know that you're not a nervous wreck. So, put on a brave face, order your latte with a cute smile and look into his eyes for about 2 seconds and leave it at that. If he's curious, he might ask for your name or something. If you keep staring at him or look too nervous, he might get scared off. 2
Myonenonly Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 The guy I have a huge crush on works as a barista. Even knowing that I'll see him makes my adrenalin go through the roof. My hands get very shaky! It's super embarrassing to hand him money or grab my drink when my hands are like that. Could he figure out I like him? What would you think if you were in his position? I'm worried he will ask me why my hands are shaking one day... "I'm kind of in love with you, that's why." I wouldn't want to creep him out, but I don't want to lie! The guy seems shy and I don't want to scare him off. Thank you for your greatly appreciated help! I had a similar feelings for someone he would come in my store where I work at I asked him a few friendly questions about his weekend or how school was going..he never once mentioned any gf or wife so.. One day I went up to him where he works at and I told him Im in My lunchbreak (all while having butterfiles and felt nervous) I just came to say hi:) how are you?" and he asked for my number we started dating and the rest is history. 1
Myonenonly Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 When you're ordering your coffee ask him friendly questions! For example of it's Monday ask him about his weekend? Listen very careful to his answer if he mentions any gf or wife then forget it! But if he doesn't then that's good for you! Then go from there! 1
StanMusial Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 He's a barista, making about 8 or 9 bucks an hour. Are you 14? 1
Stefanie Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 He's a barista, making about 8 or 9 bucks an hour. Are you 14? Hey, I was a bartender/waitress/barista and I got paid $18 an hour. Then again, I'm in Australia. I don't care too much about how much my partner earns, really. Women should be financially independent anyway. As long as he's happy, good for him. But by the sounds of it, OP is too young to even think about that. :\ 2
StanMusial Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Hey, I was a bartender/waitress/barista and I got paid $18 an hour. Then again, I'm in Australia. I don't care too much about how much my partner earns, really. Women should be financially independent anyway. As long as he's happy, good for him. But by the sounds of it, OP is too young to even think about that. :\ That was just my way of saying "he puts his pants on one leg at a time". I don't know if that is a phrase in Australia or not.
Stefanie Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I haven't heard that one before, but I'm not big on sayings anyway. I assume you're saying he's moving too slow? Needs to grow up?
StanMusial Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 I haven't heard that one before, but I'm not big on sayings anyway. I assume you're saying he's moving too slow? Needs to grow up? No, it means he is just another guy like any other she might meet on the street.
Author Ciel0 Posted August 21, 2013 Author Posted August 21, 2013 I so wish I could be a barista! It would be such a fun job It's been a couple weeks since I've seen him so I was thinking of saying "Hey, its good to see you!" Hoping he doesn't suspect my crush!
todreaminblue Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 you will probably scare him off if you tell him you are in love with him, i understand the hand shaking thing, it happens to me, lol, lucklily, i rarely feel that way around guys thats my positive, unfortunately i am going through this too, so i dont put my hands out when they are shaking and i try to open a conversation if i feel he is receptive to talk to me......because i know the nerves and adrenaline will settle once i start talking about something we share an interest in, i calm down and relax and try not to be too random like talk about hypnotising chickens or something stupid like that.....yes i have talked about chickens....... i would get to know the guy, try to open a conversation as often as you can get to know him your nerves may settle, ease yourself in, ask him what his fave coffee is or one he recommends is sublime...open that conversation with soemthign he can speak about ...i wish you luck with no shakes attached....deb 1
Author Ciel0 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 If he ever did I ask I would probably say something like "I think you're cute. :o" Really hope not, I just want to befriend him first. I just don't know how to be anything other than a regular :/ 1
string of letters Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Why not consider slipping him your phone number and a short, casual handwritten note next time you pay for your drink (or is there a separate cashier?). Given the way you describe yourself and that you say he 'seems shy', I fear chances are that nothing much will happen otherwise (he may be a charming guy in private, but feel inhibited about saying much when he's on the job, around co-workers etc.) I'd say you have nothing to lose, and if he doesn't call, just get your coffee someplace else! Like someone said earlier in the thread, though, just be sure to drink several cups of chamomile tea before you do this. 1
Author Ciel0 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Oh! Also thought of saying "I'm ____ by the way, I've seen you here for awhile and never introduced myself!" hopefully smoother though 1
Author Ciel0 Posted August 22, 2013 Author Posted August 22, 2013 Might see him tomorrow! Hope I don't freeze up 1
Stefanie Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 No, it means he is just another guy like any other she might meet on the street. That's a valid point. But aren't all the people we date meant to be average until they're special to us? I don't know about your attitudes towards this, but I tend to feel more chemistry (especially physical) with certain people I bump into. Not to go all 'hippy' on you, but sometimes you're just drawn to a person's energy, especially if they're the complete opposite of you. Of course, you can just find someone attractive and walk by, but sometimes you actually feel the urge to get to know that person and build a connection. Without sounding ridiculous, I think it's okay to be strangely attracted to someone who everyone else finds average because you've got a 'feeling' about them. "I'm ____ by the way, I've seen you here for awhile and never introduced myself!" seems too scripted. Make it seem like a spare-of-the-moment thing. Keep it short, like you didn't think about him until you got your coffee and you thought you might as well say 'hi'. 1
violetsareviolet Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I so wish I could be a barista! It would be such a fun job ding, ding. perfect conversation opener...you are genuinely interested in doing said job, and he does the job. I shouldn't need to tell you what comes next good luck! take 3 deep breaths through the nose before you go in and calm yourself...you will do great ! 2
violetsareviolet Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 But aren't all the people we date meant to be average until they're special to us? absolutely. it's not fair to generalize a person's inherent human value on what type of job they have at a given point in time...this month barista, next year designing and selling his own clothes. who knows what passions people are developing on the side? my partner in crime is currently an intern and college student. all interns and students are most definitely not created equal. 2
Stefanie Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 all interns and students are most definitely not created equal. I'LL PAY THAT. I can't even begin to explain how large the spectrum of my fellow architecture students is.
Author Ciel0 Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 It seems like his work schedule changed...I can't help thinking it because of me :/ I would normally go by twice a week (for the past month or two, it was even less before that). Am I just reading into this too much?
Stefanie Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Definitely overthinking this. It's a nasty habit, but even I admit to doing it. Unless you're harassing him, he wouldn't change his schedule because of you. He may be studying and his timetable required him to change shifts, or he was just sick the day you went to get coffee. Just relax! A guy who had been texting me since I met him on Saturday just disappeared off the face of the earth and I haven't heard from him since. He seemed super into me and really wanted to get to know me. But before he even knew my full name he disappeared. Now, most people would say he lost interest, but I have a good feeling something's happened and he's just really busy right now. Of course, I considered every reason there is (e.g. he's a player, found someone else, has a girlfriend, etc) but these are all 'what ifs' and there's only one truth. So don't put all these thoughts in your head and make yourself anxious when you don't know the truth. 1
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