Weird Story on How we Met

[Charym88]

People keep beating me up about why I even give my ex the time of day although he is LD, but we have met in person and stayed together for a while. Well, here is the weird story behind us of why I keep having hope on us:

 

In 2010, my brother met a girl from NYC on the chatline. A few weeks later, she came to visit our city with her two sons with her. I had a chance to meet her, because I went with my brother to pick her up from the Greyhound station. The girl and my brother's relationship didn't work out after a week so she left back to NYC.

 

Well, in 2012 I started to play a game called Cafe World on Facebook. I needed more neighbors so I went to the game's page to ask for friends. He sent me a friend request for the game and he had been on my friendslist for the longest until he started noticing me in 2013 when he made contact with me through Facebook Messenger. Every since then we have been inseparable until our recent breakup.

 

Well, he has 2 kids. A 10 yr old and a 2 month old. After days and days of talking and discussing eachother's lives, come to find out, the girl that I met in 2010 who was with my brother is the mother of his 10 yr old son. So, I met his son before I met him. Let me remind you that I stay in TX and he is from NYC. The odds of that is very slim.

 

That is why I believe that we are meant for eachother. Even though there is a lot of issues going on now, I believe he will return to me when he issues get resolved. He is really stressed right now having a new baby and family forcing him to be less of a man. He even said he will return to me in the future. I really believe we are soul-mates. And every since we met, we have been seeing weird triple-digit numbers everywhere.

 

Right now I am giving him his space to really think about his life. However, I do feel in my heart we will be able to be together without all of the excess drama. People tell me to find someone else, but I keep hope because I know we were destined to meet. However, I am distancing myself to heal for a while.

[CherryT]

Your post is a bit all over the place.

 

Other than those "signs" or coincidences, why do you think you're meant for each other? Do you have similar goals? Do you want similar things out of life? Why did you initially break up to begin with? Was it because he's a new dad to a 2 month old? So less than a year ago he was with someone else? Who is the other baby mama? Are you prepared to have a relationship not just with him, but with his kids? What do you mean by the excess drama? There are kids involved and if you're talking about the mothers, they will ALWAYS be in the picture.

[Charym88]

Your post is a bit all over the place.

 

Other than those "signs" or coincidences, why do you think you're meant for each other? Do you have similar goals? Do you want similar things out of life? Why did you initially break up to begin with? Was it because he's a new dad to a 2 month old? So less than a year ago he was with someone else? Who is the other baby mama? Are you prepared to have a relationship not just with him, but with his kids? What do you mean by the excess drama? There are kids involved and if you're talking about the mothers, they will ALWAYS be in the picture.

 

I think we are meant for eachother because of the way we found eachother. And I so happen to met his first love and mother of his first child before we met even though our states are 1600+ miles apart. As I've said, the chances of that is very slim to happen. I believe in Universal Laws and somehow, we were meant to meet through those laws for it to happen coincidentally like that. When I first met the woman, I would have never thought I would meet and fall in love with her child's father.

 

Yes, we do have similar goals. We planned to open up our own parlor. I am a hairstylist and he wanted to be a masseuse. We also like to write poetry and write stories. We have both written our own poetry and stories before meeting eachother.

 

We broke up out of a heated argument about his child's mother interfering with our relationship. He got tired of me bringing her up, but no one understands, this woman would not give up to the point I would go to sleep thinking of her at night instead of him. He claims I was too much focusing on her than on him. However, he didn't realize that is was very hard when she was contacting me and him all day everyday trying to figure out what "we" were doing. Now that he is back in NYC, I do not contact her about him at all.

 

Also, the other baby mama is someone he met 4 yrs ago. Sad to say, I did meet him during the course of her pregnancy. I felt bad about it after finding out, but this feeling in my heart had grown and I was not ready to let him go. We just fell in love really quickly.

 

Also, I do not mind him having 2 kids. I have fertility issues and I have always planned to have 1 child if I get lucky. I never really wanted more than 1 child, so him having children doesn't bother me at all.

 

The excess drama is mainly the 2nd baby mama. The first one I met, their relationship is over and they are over eachother. The second one is basically obsessed with him. When he did try to move on, she put a lot of stress on both of us. It had gotten so bad to the point that he was on one end of the bed texting her and I was on the other texting her too. Yeah we could have ignored her, but she would not give up. I told him I had no problem of them communicating because of the new baby. However, she was trying to get back with him, and had 0 respect for our relationship.

[FitChick]

Yes, we do have similar goals. We planned to open up our own parlor. I am a hairstylist and he wanted to be a masseuse.

Is he planning to get a sex change?

 

mas·seuse

[muh-soos, -sooz; French ma-sœz]

a woman who provides massage as a profession or occupation.

Origin:

1875–80; < French

Can be confused: masseur, masseuse.

MASSEUR = male massage therapist.

 

- - - - - - - -

 

Does he pay for those two other kids? Does he have a job?

 

Yes, it was Fate that you met the mother of one of his kids. It was a red flag waving in your face!

 

You sound very young. Or maybe just immature?

[CherryT]

Now that he is back in NYC, I do not contact her about him at all.

 

Also, the other baby mama is someone he met 4 yrs ago. Sad to say, I did meet him during the course of her pregnancy. I felt bad about it after finding out, but this feeling in my heart had grown and I was not ready to let him go. We just fell in love really quickly.

 

Also, I do not mind him having 2 kids. I have fertility issues and I have always planned to have 1 child if I get lucky. I never really wanted more than 1 child, so him having children doesn't bother me at all.

 

The excess drama is mainly the 2nd baby mama. The first one I met, their relationship is over and they are over eachother. The second one is basically obsessed with him. When he did try to move on, she put a lot of stress on both of us. It had gotten so bad to the point that he was on one end of the bed texting her and I was on the other texting her too. Yeah we could have ignored her, but she would not give up. I told him I had no problem of them communicating because of the new baby. However, she was trying to get back with him, and had 0 respect for our relationship.

 

Why were you contacting her about him? That will create drama.

 

Why did they break up to begin with? She has the right to be constantly talking to him. They have a new born and if she's a first time mother she wants support from him. You need to have respect for her if you're interfering with him putting his priorities first. He should ALWAYS be 100% putting his kids first. With a new born, he should expect to be with his ex a lot. They should be doing this together. And you should be the one respecting that.

 

I do believe in significants from how some people may meet. But I don't think it's always "meant to be". If it was, your timing would be better.

[Charym88]

Is he planning to get a sex change?

 

mas·seuse

[muh-soos, -sooz; French ma-sœz]

a woman who provides massage as a profession or occupation.

Origin:

1875–80; < French

Can be confused: masseur, masseuse.

MASSEUR = male massage therapist.

 

- - - - - - - -

 

Does he pay for those two other kids? Does he have a job?

 

Yes, it was Fate that you met the mother of one of his kids. It was a red flag waving in your face!

 

You sound very young. Or maybe just immature?

 

Yes he has a job and pays for his kids. He is paying child support for his son and providing for his daughter.

 

You know what I meant, like a man who gives massages. So I guess a masseur. Yeah, I met the mother of his child, but still it creeps me out from time to time the way it happened and I never thought nothing of it when I met her. Plus, I can't help who I love. SO you are telling me, just because a man has a child or children, that is a red flag? People are so judgmental. S**t happens and relationships fail. A person is not a bad person because they have kids.

 

I am a 25 year old woman who is not shallow and is able to overlook people's minor mistakes and flaws, but at the same time, I'm no fool which is why him and I are not together now. He has some unfinished business to get taken care of before he's able to come back like he asked last week.

 

Yes, kids may be a little extra baggage, but whose to say a man without kids may come with more? You don't know. Get over yourself.

[CherryT]

Yes he has a job and pays for his kids. He is paying child support for his son and providing for his daughter.

 

You know what I meant, like a man who gives massages. So I guess a masseur. Yeah, I met the mother of his child, but still it creeps me out from time to time the way it happened and I never thought nothing of it when I met her. Plus, I can't help who I love. SO you are telling me, just because a man has a child or children, that is a red flag? People are so judgmental. S**t happens and relationships fail. A person is not a bad person because they have kids.

 

I am a 25 year old woman who is not shallow and is able to overlook people's minor mistakes and flaws, but at the same time, I'm no fool which is why him and I are not together now. He has some unfinished business to get taken care of before he's able to come back like he asked last week.

 

Yes, kids may be a little extra baggage, but whose to say a man without kids may come with more? You don't know. Get over yourself.

 

Nobody said having kids is a bad thing. But you are focusing on the ex's and like he said, it's driven him to the point where he needed to break. He chose his children finally which is good for him. He shouldn't have gotten involved with someone when he had his gf or ex gf expecting his child.

 

What we're saying is that you have some sort of fantasy in your head and you believe it's meant to be. But we're trying to dig deep as to where's the substance in your relationship is? It's great that you both like poetry and wrote it before you met. My bf and I both like the same music and have played the same sports. Great. But it goes beyond that. You think his ex is obsessed and that she doesn't respect your relationship... on the contrary.

 

I have friends who have married single dad's and mom's. But it wasn't when their ex or current partner was expecting. It is a red flag.

[Charym88]

I dont think the problem is him having kids. Im a single mom by the way so not judgement on that factor..he has a 2 month old kid im sorry but this is a huge red flag. She is obviously in love with this man and he did love her so its a bad situation. She has a child with this man, shes permanent you are (possibly) temporary...

 

If she is in love with him, that's her problem. If he left her, she needs to accept it and he is back in NYC. I recently found out that he has not reconciled any relationship with her. I literally wanted him to go back to his hometown anyways to help out with the baby. And for some strange reason, women in general (I am a woman but an exception), believe that having a baby makes people fall in love. LOOK AROUND! No one is obligated to stay together because of children or a young child for that matter. When i thought I was pregnant for my other ex, I was not trying to get back with him for a baby. The love just wasn't there.

 

That's why millions of women get pregnant each year hoping to keep a man and it very seldom works. Her having a baby does create a connection with them for life but it doesn't make it a love connection. People need to understand that. And I don't know how I'm temporary. He has been back in NYC for 2 weeks and he could have cut off all contact with me. Apparently, it's something still there, he is 1600+ miles away and he still wants me in his life. LOVE conquers all.

[Faith13/2]

I just realized today after 6 days of NC that I really probably didn't love my ex. After all the love I thought I had for him, there is very minimum, if any feelings left. However, I do want him back for about one more night of sex, then I want to turn around and dump him. I know it sounds psycho, but I won't rest until I get an apology and I get to dump him.

 

Also, I used to think his sex was the best in the world until I just recently went out to get me some from an older flame. It's about the same, so I'm no longer obsessed with his sex. Plus, last night, I went to read his Facebook profile and things do not seem to be going pretty well with him going back to NYC. He was talking about something about feeling endangered. I don't know if it sounds evil, but I felt glad that he felt bad and nothing overly too good because I think he doesn't deserve even a little bit of happiness after what he had done to me.

 

Has anyone ever wanted to get an ex back just to get revenge? Also, have you ever been ever-so-happy that your ex's life wasn't going so great compared to your own?

 

I'm just trying to figure out if I'm being overly evil.

 

Was this not your post? I'm quite confused here.. either you love him or you don't. Really makes me see the situation in a new light compared to just reading this post. Seems you also need to focus on fixing yourself.

 

I read through this and actually kind of felt for you, at first until I looked through the rest of your posts. You're all over the place. You seem delusional and can't even understand yourself; how do you expect random people to give you advice? Do not take that man away from his child and possibility of fixing things with his child's mother for your own selfish needs. Don't make yourself out to be the good guy here, when you, yourself said your "trying to figure out if I'm being overly evil." Nope not evil, just selfish and delusional. He's in control of his own life not you, and it seems he chose to go back to her, get over it.

Edited August 20, 2013 by Faith13/2

[Faith13/2]

The story gets better and better and reading thru your past threads you need a severe reality check. Hes your ex yet he still loves you right? Maybe next time youll think twice before being a homewrecker while he is expecting a child.

 

 

Wish some people would realize they cause their own problems. For once I think a person should sit back and list their bad qualities and not just focus on the good they think they've done. Once you realize you do have your bad qualities and it's not just the other person's fault all the time, you may realize why you're alone. Good to know you can over look people's "minor mistakes and flaws," also good to know you chose to overlook yours.

 

Sorry for not sugarcoating for you, but you're 25 years old and obviously need someone in your life to reality check you.

Edited August 20, 2013 by Faith13/2

[Faith13/2]

Seriously its sad were younger than her and we can see it. Shes stuck in high school mode and thinks she has a "claim" on him. She believes they havent reconciled but where is she getting her info from? Shes not even there. I truly hope hes giving his family another shot, their child deserves it. If i were this mans babys mother though, i would really be cautious and consider whether i want a cheater in my life. The babys mother and the child are really the victims here :/

 

If I was this baby's mother I would love to see the threads this girl's posting, because personally I don't think she'd be fit to be around my child. Mentally or even maturity wise.

[MidwestUSA]

What does it mean if you see weird triple-digit numbers evrrywhere? I need to know.

[Faith13/2]

What does it mean if you see weird triple-digit numbers evrrywhere? I need to know.

 

To some people seeing 3-digit numbers can seem to be more than just that. Some say it means your more "spiritually" connected, and the numbers mean more of a sign rather than just a coincidence that you "keep seeing them." There's even some meanings to certain numbers, google it to get a better idea..

 

Or it could just be in your imagination and you want to see those numbers.

 

With this situation specifically.. I go with the last answer^^.. lol

[Faith13/2]

Yeah definitely she is very unstable. I think this man should read these threads too so he can put a stop to it for good. Then again he did cause these problems...maybe hell think twice before ****ing around. I doubt it tho...

 

Absolutely! This guy is far from innocent, he's a dog, enough said.

[CherryT]

Was this not your post? I'm quite confused here.. either you love him or you don't. Really makes me see the situation in a new light compared to just reading this post. Seems you also need to focus on fixing yourself.

 

I read through this and actually kind of felt for you, at first until I looked through the rest of your posts. You're all over the place. You seem delusional and can't even understand yourself; how do you expect random people to give you advice? Do not take that man away from his child and possibility of fixing things with his child's mother for your own selfish needs. Don't make yourself out to be the good guy here, when you, yourself said your "trying to figure out if I'm being overly evil." Nope not evil, just selfish and delusional. He's in control of his own life not you, and it seems he chose to go back to her, get over it.

 

My goodness, I didn't even check her past post. This screams psycho and she said it herself. You want one night of sex just to go back around and dump him. What place do you have to try and ruin someones life? I bet you want him back to punish his ex and not because you love him. You just want to "win". No matter what you do, with that kind of view towards things... you will NEVER win because your life is revolved around revenge and spite. It's pretty disgusting actually and I think you need to seek some help. Perhaps you can focus on creating your own happiness rather than trying to sabotage someone else.

 

I wonder if your ex realizes how crazy you are and that's why he fled. I wouldn't hold your breath for him to come back... especially if he has a sane bone in his body.

[Faith13/2]

My goodness, I didn't even check her past post. This screams psycho and she said it herself. You want one night of sex just to go back around and dump him. What place do you have to try and ruin someones life? I bet you want him back to punish his ex and not because you love him. You just want to "win". No matter what you do, with that kind of view towards things... you will NEVER win because your life is revolved around revenge and spite. It's pretty disgusting actually and I think you need to seek some help. Perhaps you can focus on creating your own happiness rather than trying to sabotage someone else.

 

I wonder if your ex realizes how crazy you are and that's why he fled. I wouldn't hold your breath for him to come back... especially if he has a sane bone in his body.

 

 

My thoughts exactly when I read that posting. Especially when it's titled "is it wrong for me to want him back so I can have control?" Like what the hell is wrong with your head?!

[CherryT]

To some people seeing 3-digit numbers can seem to be more than just that. Some say it means your more "spiritually" connected, and the numbers mean more of a sign rather than just a coincidence that you "keep seeing them." There's even some meanings to certain numbers, google it to get a better idea..

 

Or it could just be in your imagination and you want to see those numbers.

 

With this situation specifically.. I go with the last answer^^.. lol

 

Oh this is definitely possible. Like I always catch myself looking at the time at around 3:33... but that's because I'm usually tapped out and ready to leave the office haha!

 

My thoughts exactly when I read that posting. Especially when it's titled "is it wrong for me to want him back so I can have control?" Like what the hell is wrong with your head?!

 

There is something not right, definitely. Yes, you can be upset with how things unfolded. It's natural to feel disappointed when you are infatuated with an idea or person. But have a bit of rationality and realize the problem is you and not the ex.

[Faith13/2]

Oh this is definitely possible. Like I always catch myself looking at the time at around 3:33... but that's because I'm usually tapped out and ready to leave the office haha!

 

There is something not right, definitely. Yes, you can be upset with how things unfolded. It's natural to feel disappointed when you are infatuated with an idea or person. But have a bit of rationality and realize the problem is you and not the ex.

 

 

I also tend to be a bit superstitious when it comes to these things, but it's also usually a specific time(like time to go to bed kids!) lol Just in this situation think it's all part of that loony mind !

[CherryT]

Yeah definitely i usually am pretty sympathetic towards people but this is just wrong and insane

 

Me too. I've been cheated on in the past. If I were asked prior to it happening, I would've probably given the standard "I'd chop his winky off". But when it happened to me, I don't know what took over... but I packed up my things and never looked back. It was almost like I didn't care. Yes, it hurt like hell when someone you trust betrays you like that. But somehow I found strength in knowing that my core values would never let me fight for someone like this. What's the point? I don't associate myself with cheaters. So it was a pretty easy decision for me to walk away and go NC immediately. My ex has made a few attempts to talk to me since our break up (years ago). But I never ever give him that satisfaction. We only have a few mutual friends left but many of them tell me that I'm his biggest regret and that what he did really ruined what he thinks he'll never get again. Actually last summer one of our mutuals friends and I met up for a coffee after not seeing each other for over 2 years. He said he recently saw my ex and heard through the grapevine that I was extremely happy and planning my wedding. The sadness he had in realizing what he did is his karma. You don't need to plan revenge when you focus on yourself and your happiness and not giving a sh*t about those who did you wrong. Don't purposely do others wrong or your karma will come back 10 fold.

 

OP, this is the kind of "revenge" you want. Take care of YOU and be a good person. Ditch those who have other interests and people in their love lives. I guarantee that when you work on yourself and get yourself (mind, body and soul) healthier in how you perceive and react to things, you will find someone who treats you better. But if you continue seeing the world how you currently see it, you are destined for a tough and unhappy life.

Edited August 20, 2013 by CherryT

[MidwestUSA]

To some people seeing 3-digit numbers can seem to be more than just that. Some say it means your more "spiritually" connected, and the numbers mean more of a sign rather than just a coincidence that you "keep seeing them." There's even some meanings to certain numbers, google it to get a better idea..

 

Or it could just be in your imagination and you want to see those numbers.

 

With this situation specifically.. I go with the last answer^^.. lol

 

Thanks for the explanation, Faith. My weird thing is that I often 'just happen' to see a digital clock (almost always the alarm clock in my bedroom) at 11:11. It does sorta freak me out, and I wonder if I should rush out and buy a lottery ticket or something when it happens!

 

 

(And yes, agree with your interpretation of this case. )

[Faith13/2]

Thanks for the explanation, Faith. My weird thing is that I often 'just happen' to see a digital clock (almost always the alarm clock in my bedroom) at 11:11. It does sorta freak me out, and I wonder if I should rush out and buy a lottery ticket or something when it happens!

 

 

(And yes, agree with your interpretation of this case. )

 

 

I believe 11:11 is supposed to be the 'make a wish' time

Edited August 21, 2013 by Faith13/2

[justwhoiam]

We broke up out of a heated argument about his child's mother interfering with our relationship.

Or is it you interfering with their relationship?

 

He got tired of me

That happens.

 

I did meet him during the course of her pregnancy. I felt bad about it after finding out

He didn't even tell you... Nice person he is.

 

she was trying to get back with him, and had 0 respect for our relationship.

Did you respect HER relationship? Don't demand what you're not able to give in the first place.

 

we have met in person and stayed together for a while.

He was keeping his foot in both camps for a while.

 

now, I believe he will return to me when he issues get resolved.

If you think his kids are issues, they are not getting resolved. They are going to grow.

 

He is paying child support for his son and providing for his daughter.

Support will rise proportionally with age, possibly until after college (when they can settle with some job). This means limited resources for himself, not to mention another woman.

 

I am a 25 year old woman who is not shallow and is able to overlook people's minor mistakes and flaws

Funny how you expressed judgment on the other woman in his life, then get pi$$ed off saying people posting in here are being judgemental...

 

I won't quote anything about your last post... but I will say this: had we shown Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas in Fatal Attraction) what would have happened to him and his daughter's rabbit if he was going to have sex with Alexandra, and then provided Chary as an option, I guess he would have gone with Alexandra.

[FitChick]

The 11:11 thing is quite common. Happens to me a lot. In numerology, 11, 22 and 33 are power numbers I believe. I often wonder if the 9/11 bombers were into numerology or if there is any significance to that number in their religion.