kevmac Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Hi, So I was with my girlfriend for four months, she had planned to go to camp America to work as an administrator before she even met me and I was happy for her to do this in the summer break from Uni. She asked me to fly out there to meet her after and spend some time in two dates with her which cost me some money! We were so happy together before she went and the week before she went we spent almost everyday with eachother, it was mutual, none of us forced eachother to see eachother! The day she went she told me how proud she was to call me her boyfriend especially after her previous ex's who cheated on her and took drugs behind her back, she said she couldn't wait for me to fly out there to meet her and have the time of her life! She also said how she loved me soo much and loved that I treated her like a princess! However two weeks into her camp trip she text me saying she's been thinking and it's all too much and she felt things had moved to quickly and she didnt want to get too comfortable with me and not do the things she wanted to do! I pleaded my case in order to stay with her but she broke up with me by text a couple of days later! I begged and acted desperate for two/three days after this and she told me the holiday would no longer happen which was a massive blow for me as I would loose over £1000, she asked me to move the hotel a week forward so she could stay there, I did this for her and she was very thankful! We didnt really speak after This and a couple of weeks later i text her to ask if we Could have Our holiday and do it as individuals and that I didn't want to get back with her and she said no, so I asked for my share of the hotel otherwise I would cancel it and she flipped calling me a pyscho and to never contact her again and that I've scared her off relationships for the text of her life! I didnt text back! I then had an email confirmation from hotel so I forwarded it to her and she apologized for acting so rude! I'd didn't text her back to any of this mind! I've text her mum a few times since we've broke up asking for advice and asking how my ex was and she was really nice about it! My ex found out though and went crazy with me and told me to stop harassing her family(blew things totally out of proportion) she's since told me again to Not contact her and that she's give my stuff back when she comes home in 3 weeks! I haven't contacted her since!! I really don't get what's happened as one week she was saying she was so happy and in love with me and then the next few weeks and months she can't even be civil! Don't get me wrong she has been nasty but I can't think of doing anything better than getting her back and I really want to aswell! Does anybody still think there's a chance? What's the bet thing I can do to get her back?
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I'm sorry you are going through this, this is no chance that this can pull back together. The thing you have missed is that there is a another guy she is interested in, as hard as this might be to believe you need to get it... Take your lumps.. chalk this up to never spending this kind of money on a girl you don't know very well, you will find another.. trust me. Please don't text her family any more either, since she has asked you not to contact her anymore then the best thing you should do is listen to her. Sorry.... By the way.. been there done that, got the tee shirt...you are not alone...
Author kevmac Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 I'm sorry you are going through this, this is no chance that this can pull back together. The thing you have missed is that there is a another guy she is interested in, as hard as this might be to believe you need to get it... Take your lumps.. chalk this up to never spending this kind of money on a girl you don't know very well, you will find another.. trust me. Please don't text her family any more either, since she has asked you not to contact her anymore then the best thing you should do is listen to her. Sorry.... By the way.. been there done that, got the tee shirt...you are not alone... Sorry, what assumptions have you made to assume there is another guy involved??
Art_Critic Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Sorry, what assumptions have you made to assume there is another guy involved?? Your post in this thread, it is there However two weeks into her camp trip she text me saying she's been thinking and it's all too much and she felt things had moved to quickly and she didnt want to get too comfortable with me and not do the things she wanted to do!
Author kevmac Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 and your saying theres nothing i can do to get her back? im almost certain she wouldnt of gone off with another guy
marqueemoon4 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 The best way is to let her go and focus on yourself, unfortunately. And even then there are no guarantees. 2
Author kevmac Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 The best way is to let her go and focus on yourself, unfortunately. And even then there are no guarantees. Yeh I have been building on myself and trying to look at the positive aspects of things!! Before I acted a little desperate she said maybe things might work out when she's back but obviously there's been a few petty arguments since then!! She's closer herself off from me quite alot but I think maybe I can gain the feelings back she once had for me? Is there anything else I can do to increase my chances other than giving her space and acting mature about it
Simon Phoenix Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Yeh I have been building on myself and trying to look at the positive aspects of things!! Before I acted a little desperate she said maybe things might work out when she's back but obviously there's been a few petty arguments since then!! She's closer herself off from me quite alot but I think maybe I can gain the feelings back she once had for me? Is there anything else I can do to increase my chances other than giving her space and acting mature about it Not really. It's pretty much on her. There's nothing you can do to bring her back, but there are millions of things you can do to drive her away. Stay away in No Contact and just work on yourself. Time and space are your only allies right now.
aspiringuitarheroine Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 No Contact for at least 3 months. Some say 30 days, some say 60, I don't think anyone should even think about approaching their ex before 90 days. Just leave her alone. If you've acted desperate, if you've had some petty arguments, if you've stuffed things up a bit, there's nothing else you can say or do to/for her, unless you want to hammer the final nail in the coffin. Disappear for 3 months, and see what happens. Either she'll look you up before 90 days is up, or she'll be gone for good.
Author kevmac Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 No Contact for at least 3 months. Some say 30 days, some say 60, I don't think anyone should even think about approaching their ex before 90 days. Just leave her alone. If you've acted desperate, if you've had some petty arguments, if you've stuffed things up a bit, there's nothing else you can say or do to/for her, unless you want to hammer the final nail in the coffin. Disappear for 3 months, and see what happens. Either she'll look you up before 90 days is up, or she'll be gone for good. so there is still a glimmer of a hope you think? the thing is she wants to give me my stuff back when she comes home, so that would obviously be within the 90 day window?
lylat333 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 Ignore jasongolff, just reported that spam. OP, I'm sorry you're going through this. I too contacted some of my ex's friends and family right after we stopped being in contact. They were all respectful, even friendly and supportive but my ex was pissed when she found out, which really confused me. My ex also sounded like she still loved me and wanted to work things out just 2-3 weeks before she went stone cole on me. The only thing I wanted in the world was to reconcile, I didn't care about anything else so I totally understand what you're going through. But take this to heart: I and others can tell you your ex is now past the point where you have any control. Along the lines of what Simon said it's not so much about what you can do to get her back... you can do the 1 thing that will keep things from getting worse (No Contact), everything else will be counter-productive. She's not being civil because she doesn't care anymore. I went through thinking there must be something I can do or say that can help her have a change of heart. Nope... there is literally nothing you can do or say to change her mind. So you enter NC to stop the bleeding and begin the healing process. She sounds very volatile and has a very short fuse. She knows where you stand, the ball is completely in her court and until she makes it clear she's had any change of heart you don't really want anything to do with her.
r321148 Posted October 10, 2013 Posted October 10, 2013 so I asked for my share of the hotel otherwise I would cancel it and she flipped calling me a pyscho and to never contact her again and that I've scared her off relationships for the text of her life! She sounds crazy. If you're both students and short on money then there was nothing too wrong with your request. I'd say forget her and find someone better. Also learn lessons!! 1) never spend that much money on someone so soon unless you really have money to burn! 2) never, ever contact your ex girlfriends family!!! It's such a desperate move. What were you hoping? That her parents would side with you and make her come round??! Seriously if an ex did this to me I would need no further proof that I should have nothing to do with them! Her flipping out at you is not blowing it out of proportion. Fight your own battles and don't involve her parents! Beside the fact you shouldn't want to get back with her there is nothing you can do to win her back. If she really wants you she will come back and whatever advice you follow will not bring her back. If you go NC, stay friends, low contact or whatever the only thing that will change her mind is her. You do what's best for you in this time and you may just start to see things more clearly and not even want her if she ever does come back. Things not to do: beg her, plead with her, repeatedly call and text her, turn up outside her house, send her flowers and gifts, contact any other members of her family....etc. Good luck 1
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