blazerrr Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Hello, Another day has gone past and this time it wasn't so good. Well month ago, my gf left (4 years together) me for another guy saying that the relationship was boring, I didn't put much effort in it and we were moving nowhere. Which is true actually, however over the past few weeks after we broke up I finally realized what I did wrongly. I'm already improving myself - both physically and mentally. She is already seeing it. She even told me that if I change I'll get her back. She told me that the rebound was "nothing serious". They haven't had sex yet, so it might be true. She is interested in meeting me while she is not with his rebound. So basically, right now I'm option nr2. I gave her gifts, she enjoyed em. I put all my effort to make her happy, but she still pushy and not very interested in me. However, if we don't talk like 4-5 days she always writes me something to get my attention. Today I called her to invite for a trip (300 miles away). She AGREED, BUT she also told that she is already going on the very same trip with his rebound (WTF). Basically, she first goes with him and then goes with me. I didn't know what to say, but we will meet tomorrow and talk things over. I think she is insecure and don't know which one to choose. Should I back off or try to get her on the trip and make her happy with me? Continue seducing her, giving her gifts etc (because that is what she didn't get from me while we were in relationship) She knows I love her, that's why she is playing games with me. If she could only say "Yes, I don't love you anymore. I want to be with another guy", but NO she doesn't tell me that... Instead she tells me: "I think we will be together in future." "I'm missing you, but I don't want to be with you right now" etc crapola. ANYHOW, tomorrow is the date. A) Should I tell her that I'm moving NC since I can't be friends with you anymore or B ) Should I go to the trip with her, be on her side when she calls/texts me until she has finally figured out who she wants?
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Oh boy... Well, I'll just say what most reading this are thinking... You are delusional if you think she wants you back and hasn't slept with the new guy... Sorry to drop that bomb... This forum is literally filled with threads about people saying exactly what she said, and... guess what. It is 99.999% always BS!!! This is what dumpers do. Nothing special here. Again, sorry To answer your question... A A A A A A A A A A A A 5
Author blazerrr Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 I'm not actually that naive, but I have been together with her over 4 years. I know when she lies and when she doesn't. The thing is, her rebound is 16 The girl (my ex) is 21. I know I have the dumbest girl in the whole world (probably), but still. The 16 year old is madlytrulydeeply in love with her and he probably accepts that my ex is meeting me occasionally.
reddragon588 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 What if she decides she doesn't want you? After you put in the time effort and emotions to try to get her back? This is a lost cause. Go NC. If she does want you, going nC will make her realize it. If your still in her life, she can't make that realization.
Author blazerrr Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 I'm mostly likely going NC since tomorrow for LONG time. I just don't know how to tell her that and look "mature" and "cool" at the same time. Making her regret her decision(s) etc. At first I tried like 10 days to be in NC, but she told me all those crazy stuff that she is missing me badly, wants to be with me in the future and not to slip away from her. She even cried about it. I couldn't resist and we started to talk, but I feel like I'm back on zero again
reddragon588 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Don't tell her, just do it. You only need to tell her if she continues to contact you and won't stop. Then, you can tell her you can't be in contact with her anymore because you just can't be friends with her because you still have feelings and it wouldn't be fair to either of you to have a friendship where you want more and she is unconsciously hurting you. Let her know all your feelings then, and that way she will know how you feel and there can be no regrets. But only do this if necessary. And do NC starting today, now. The sooner the better NC is hard and I'm struggling with it a lot right now too. But I can tell you emphatically that it has improved my emotional state by leaps and bounds.
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I'm mostly likely going NC since tomorrow for LONG time. I just don't know how to tell her that and look "mature" and "cool" at the same time. Making her regret her decision(s) etc. At first I tried like 10 days to be in NC, but she told me all those crazy stuff that she is missing me badly, wants to be with me in the future and not to slip away from her. She even cried about it. I couldn't resist and we started to talk, but I feel like I'm back on zero again Again, this is extremely typical behavior and it's ALL BS!!!! You don't tell someone you are going NC. You just do it!! And, they will try to get you to break it. Call you weak, immature, petty and lot's of other crap too. In reality, it's actually a show of strength and resolve... 2
Author blazerrr Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 Again, this is extremely typical behavior and it's ALL BS!!!! You don't tell someone you are going NC. You just do it!! And, they will try to get you to break it. Call you weak, immature, petty and lot's of other crap too. In reality, it's actually a show of strength and resolve... So basically you are saying that I should not meet her tomorrow although we already planned this? I was suppose to help her with one tiny thing. I just want to talk with her for the last time. I think it's immature to go NC without saying anything. But you might be true about it.
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 It's absolutely not immature. What's immature is d*cking around your SO all the while feeding them a bunch of BS to string them along while you go out and do whatever you feel like. That's immature!!! Why talk with her. All that will do is lead you on a wild goose chase of questions answered by lies and half truths... Stick a fork in this thing. It's done!! Move on. You sound like a younger guy, so lot's more opportunity for you. 1
Author blazerrr Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 It's absolutely not immature. What's immature is d*cking around your SO all the while feeding them a bunch of BS to string them along while you go out and do whatever you feel like. That's immature!!! Why talk with her. All that will do is lead you on a wild goose chase of questions answered by lies and half truths... Stick a fork in this thing. It's done!! Move on. You sound like a younger guy, so lot's more opportunity for you. Well yeah, I'm 21. but the thing is. I'm going to see her anyway at the university next week. We will probably see eachothers 1-2 times a week. What if she comes to talk to me and says like "Let's have a dinner today" which is most likely going to happen anyway as I know her. When I go NC, she starts contacting etc. So, I just don't tell her nothing? Don't meet her tomorrow night and doesn't help her like I promised to her?
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Well yeah, I'm 21. but the thing is. I'm going to see her anyway at the university next week. We will probably see eachothers 1-2 times a week. What if she comes to talk to me and says like "Let's have a dinner today" which is most likely going to happen anyway as I know her. When I go NC, she starts contacting etc. So, I just don't tell her nothing? Don't meet her tomorrow night and doesn't help her like I promised to her? As another poster mentioned, you can tell her in a quick, matter-of-fact statement that this is not working for you and your plans to go NC. She will not like this, but now you have stated your intention and should stick to it. As a 21 year old, (no offense to you personally) this is going to be very difficult, as you are not fully mature or very experienced. Chances are you will make the mistake of letting her have her way with you, which is exactly what she is doing. I hope for your own emotional well being, you let her be... Live your life without her as a part of it. Seeing her at school doesn't matter. There's lot's more women out there who will appreciate what you have to offer. She doesn't!! 1
Ireallydontknow Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Do you really want a girl that is only going to give you attention when you give her stuff? She is going to keep playing you until the well dries up. Trust me I was with a manhunter too. When things are good they stick around, as soon as it goes sour, GONE! Slap NC on that b**** and spend that money on yourself! Or on a girl who f****** appreciates it. 1
Author blazerrr Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 (edited) As another poster mentioned, you can tell her in a quick, matter-of-fact statement that this is not working for you and your plans to go NC. She will not like this, but now you have stated your intention and should stick to it. As a 21 year old, (no offense to you personally) this is going to be very difficult, as you are not fully mature or very experienced. Chances are you will make the mistake of letting her have her way with you, which is exactly what she is doing. I hope for your own emotional well being, you let her be... Live your life without her as a part of it. Seeing her at school doesn't matter. There's lot's more women out there who will appreciate what you have to offer. She doesn't!! I know it's hard. At first two weeks I was a complete wreck. Didn't eat, didn't work out. Didn't do nothing. I tried to party, chill with girls, but ****. It's really hard to do this when you are still thinking on your ex. I just don't want to date anymore right now, I even don't want to have sex. I wish I hadn't resisted to her texts. Like I said, back on zero again. And this girl is driving my crazy as well. She says she is confused, doesn't know with who she wants to be. She is probably blocking that rebound as well to not move forward until she's head is clear. I think I have pretty good chances to get her back if I go NC right away. However, if she returns after 3-4 months it's too late for her for sure. So, I basically help her and say that it's not working out as I planned and I'm going NC or just tell her that I can't help you today and go NC? I JUST WISH THAT SHE COULD TELL ME TO BACK OFF. TELL ME THAT SHE IS NOT LOVING ME. - THIS could help me a lot! But no, she sending me mixed signals and they drive me mad. BTW, thanks for your replies. I'm planning to keep this thread alive and make it as a case-study to inform you about the updates (in case you are interested). Edited August 20, 2013 by blazerrr
reddragon588 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 I know it's hard. At first two weeks I was a complete wreck. Didn't eat, didn't work out. Didn't do nothing. I tried to party, chill with girls, but ****. It's really hard to do this when you are still thinking on your ex. I just don't want to date anymore right now, I even don't want to have sex. I wish I hadn't resisted to her texts. Like I said, back on zero again. And this girl is driving my crazy as well. She says she is confused, doesn't know with who she wants to be. She is probably blocking that rebound as well to not move forward until she's head is clear. I think I have pretty good chances to get her back if I go NC right away. However, if she returns after 3-4 months it's too late for her for sure. So, I basically help her and say that it's not working out as I planned and I'm going NC or just tell her that I can't help you today and go NC? BTW, thanks for your replies. I'm planning to keep this thread alive and make it as a case-study to inform you about the updates (in case you are interested). Just don't say anything. You might be surprised that she won't say anything to you as well. I JUST WISH THAT SHE COULD TELL ME TO BACK OFF. TELL ME THAT SHE IS NOT LOVING ME. - THIS could help me a lot! But no, she sending me mixed signals and they drive me mad. She already did tell you that she does not love you when she broke up with you. Actions speak louder than words.
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 I just don't want to date anymore right now, I even don't want to have sex. This is fine. Probably a good thing for now... And this girl is driving my crazy as well. She says she is confused, doesn't know with who she wants to be. She is probably blocking that rebound as well to not move forward until she's head is clear. You're not paying attention. This is 100% BS... And you're buying it. Stop!!! I think I have pretty good chances to get her back if I go NC right away. However, if she returns after 3-4 months it's too late for her for sure. Plan on never being romantic/intimate with her again. Why would you want to? She's playing you like a piano!! So, I basically help her and say that it's not working out as I planned and I'm going NC or just tell her that I can't help you today and go NC? Say "I'm sorry X, but this current situation is not working for me. I think it's best if we don't communicate for a while"... Done!!! I JUST WISH THAT SHE COULD TELL ME TO BACK OFF. TELL ME THAT SHE IS NOT LOVING ME. - THIS could help me a lot! But no, she sending me mixed signals and they drive me mad. I hear a piano. La la la la. No mixed signals. One f'd up signal!! What do you need, a billboard. If she cared about you there would be no other guy. Period!! BTW, thanks for your replies. I'm planning to keep this thread alive and make it as a case-study to inform you about the updates (in case you are interested). Please do!! And, please stop letting this immature little girl mess with your head and heart. It hurts me to read it!! 2
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 If you don't listen to what mtnbiker is saying 10000% you ARE going to come crashing down in flames. Money back guarantee! Step back man, take a good look at the bigger picture her- game over. And honestly, why on earth would you want it NOT to be. "She hasn't had sex with the rebound yet" you are seriously delusional if you believe that, Oh wait, I know, she was just helping her SIXTEEN year old rebound with homework, right? C'mon pal, give yourself more credit than that. 2
Author blazerrr Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 (edited) Oh boy... Just read her tumblr blog (pictures) and I got another wave of mixed signals - btw she doesn't know that I'm reading it. 1) Effort. That's all you have to show me 2) Tell me what you feel for me is real. If it's real, we will figure it out. If it's not then please let me go. By the way, this is exactly what she wants from me. Showing her that I can be independent, showing her that I actually love her despite she is having rebound etc. btw2, her relationship with the rebound is in that phase where the rebound wants to make it official. My EX is still not sure about it. I think it's wise to back off in this kind of situations. BUT, enough is enough. I'm going probably NC, but wondering maybe using LC (in case she contacts me) to show her my coldness. It keeps me in her head and she is wondering why I'm being so cold towards her. Edited August 20, 2013 by blazerrr
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 LC will show her you're a door mat. NC
Simon Phoenix Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 Oh boy... Just read her tumblr blog (pictures) and I got another wave of mixed signals - btw she doesn't know that I'm reading it. 1) Effort. That's all you have to show me 2) Tell me what you feel for me is real. If it's real, we will figure it out. If it's not then please let me go. By the way, this is exactly what she wants from me. Showing her that I can be independent, showing her that I actually love her despite she is having rebound etc. btw2, her relationship with the rebound is in that phase where the rebound wants to make it official. My EX is still not sure about it. I think it's wise to back off in this kind of situations. BUT, enough is enough. I'm going probably NC, but wondering maybe using LC (in case she contacts me) to show her my coldness. It keeps me in her head and she is wondering why I'm being so cold towards her. Bad idea on LC. And No Contact means no checking up on her on social media either.
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 This isn't a game. You don't need to 'show' her anything or 'act' any way. I am not sure I am getting this... Do you want her back? If so, why? And if so, then please stop posting asking for advice and go commit emotional suicide already...
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