parachuteless Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 So me and my ex girlfriend dated for about 2 months. It wasn't very long but we had some great times together. She is 20 and i'm 23. We started going out after we met at our work, which is the cafeteria at our university. We spent alot of time together and when summer came and classes ended, we went back home to San Diego. Everything was good for the first bit of summer, and she was constantly calling and texting me.. then one day I got a really bad feeling from her when I left her house. It was like complete dissinterest from her. So I knew something was wrong. So I said goodnight to her and left. I called the next day and she didn't pickup. So i left it at that. I looked at her twitter.. she didn't think I knew she had one, and she had written to one of her girlfriends saying. "You can treat me like a princess but if there's no spark I can't." When I saw this I got pretty sad cause I knew it was over. But I didn't call or text her since that night. She also said, "I've already broken up with you in my mind but I just need to put it into action.. #I hate this part." How ****ed up is that? Then 2 days later she texted me at like 3 in the morning saying alot of stuff like "I'm sorry I haven't spoken to you in 2 days.. It's 3 in the morning and my mind is racing.. I'd like you to call me tomorrow..etc." So I called her the next day and we talked a bit. She told me she was freaking out because she thought it was getting to serious.. Funny because I never pressured her and she was the one who eventually wanted to be an official couple. She told me she didn't want anything to change.. she still wanted to hangout and stuff she just didn't want the title and seriousness of it. This is coming from a girl who seemed absolutely crazy about me while we were dating. So I just said ok but told her that it's not really serious at all and we're just having a good summer together. This was definitely her way of breaking up. I'm not a detective but I think the real reason was that she was getting texted by other guys, including her ex boyfriend and she lost interest in me and completely took me for granted. She was clingy as **** though so I don't get that. But anyway, after that we texted.. I asked her to hangout once.. she didn't seem too enthusiastic so I just said to myself, "alright, she doesn't care about you," and stopped talking to her. I definitely kept my pride because I never ask her why or begged or pleaded with her. Inside I was hurting obviously.. but I just competely went off the map. So it's been about 1 month and a half since I last talked to her and today I had to see her for the first time at our work because school has started back up and we're both back. She came over and said hi and stuff and I told her about my summer and blah blah. She seemed confused cause we hadn't talked in awhile. I think she asked me why i hadn't called her. Anyway, she looks so cute and I freaking miss her but I don't think I should ever take her back. I think I want to be friends cause I like her personality alot but I feel like she is the one who needs to make the effort to talk to me more and stuff. It would have to come from her. I got super nervous seeing her for the first time again. She acted weird around me too. I'm really not sure how to act. It's painful seeing her because alot of memories come back to me. How can I make this less awkward and how can I get over her when she's right there everday at work? Also, I don't think I should "get" her back but that doesn't stop me from wanting to. I still care about her but I feel like she took me for granted towards the end.
Philosoraptor Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 If you don't think you should take her back, that's your minds way of telling you she isn't someone you can trust with your heart... so to speak. But if you have feelings for her greater than friendship then you can't just be friends either. Right now I'd consider just settling for being coworkers and being patient with that. You'll eventually get to the point where you either want to start something with her, be friends with her, or lose any interest in anything more than being coworkers.
Author parachuteless Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 If you don't think you should take her back, that's your minds way of telling you she isn't someone you can trust with your heart... so to speak. But if you have feelings for her greater than friendship then you can't just be friends either. Right now I'd consider just settling for being coworkers and being patient with that. You'll eventually get to the point where you either want to start something with her, be friends with her, or lose any interest in anything more than being coworkers. That's absolutely right, I don't feel like I can trust her. I opened up to her and she made me feel like I could tell her things and be myself but in the end she dumped me so I guess that's the bottom line. How do you guard yourself from that happening? It seems like girls want a commitment, then as soon as they get it they run. I'm ok with just settling down and being patient but it's hard to relax and be myself around her because it feels weird.. I do miss and want her back. I think I'm hoping if I can just chill out and act cool at work that eventually she'll remember why she fell for me in the first place. Thanks for the advise.
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