andy_w Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Hey everyone, So my girlfriend of two months dumped me about 30 minutes ago. She has been a little distant the last two days. Our relationship so far has been amazing, we have great chemistry together and have tons of fun. I know we both love each other... I'm confused. I started a new job recently which involves a very long commute quite early in the morning, so last week I will admit I was cranky and overly sarcastic. She barely texted me today which is unusual so I initiated and eventually she said that we needed to talk, when I picked her up from work she told me she thinks it's too early for this to be happening and that it's a sign of how I solve my problems... I apologized and agreed that I should not have been acting so childishly and being a bit snappy just because I'm tired. I would really appreciate your advice. I don't know what to do. I don't want this to be over.
Ireallydontknow Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I'd go NC, it's only two months so it shouldn't be that hard. It looks like this person might just use dumping you as leverage so this might be something you'd have to deal with on a constant basis if you get back into it.
JDPT Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 She has boundaries and standards and as much as you may not want to hear this she is doing the right thing. She doesn't want to deal with this (rightfully so) and is sparing both you and her future grief. Only being together for two months should work in your favor if you use all tools required to embark on recovery.
xanitus Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 dude, trust me much better this happen now than 3 years down when you're really in love. Let her go, if she comes back then see what happens. 1
Kimmie80 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I can definitely relate to your pain! I feel so stupid when I come on here expressing my hurt, depression and anxiety over the split of me and my ex. It was only 2 months. It hurts like hell. Everything was so perfect. Just perfect. Until one day I let my emotions and self-esteem issues get the better of me. I hurt him with 2 emails I sent him. He walked away. He says he forgives me, but he's gone. Gone as fast as he came. I am currently on 32 days of NC, and for me, its just as painful as the first day was. However, everyone griefs and handles this stuff differently. Some people by now would be out there living life. Especially when it was such a short relationship. Im really having a hard time
Author andy_w Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 Thanks for the input everyone. If I could get just a little more that would be great. We haven't been in contact since it happened ~28 hours ago. It's early morning now and she is just getting to work. I want to text her around lunch and ask her to get coffee this evening, not so I can try to change her mind, but to get closure and really understand what happened, because I just don't understand. Everything seemed fine, and then she just left. Is this reasonable?
Author andy_w Posted August 20, 2013 Author Posted August 20, 2013 Anybody? I'm going to message her in an hour.
Ireallydontknow Posted August 20, 2013 Posted August 20, 2013 I hope you didn't message her. There is no such thing as closure in a break up. At least not this early on in the BU stage. It's just best to let her live her life, and you live yours. Do not try and contact her! You will just make yourself look like a fool! You will probably try and shift it unconsciously into reconciliation. She broke up with you, let her come to you. Image her being plowed by someone else, or loving up on another. Does it piss you off? Yes? Then you aren't ready to be friends. Sad but true.
Nicoleiia Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 You need to cut your losses and keep going. If you two get back together, I will bet money that it won't last and you will split again. Just go NC and move on with your life.
headinthecloud Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 Give it a month before you reach out to her. NC is for you and will help - just be patient. Post on this site whenever you're feeling "the itch". Pining after her won't be good for you. Sounds like she's made her decision. If you respect her then leave her alone. If she contacts you then you can decide what you want but I would just move on if I were you. Be strong...don't reach out.
Sparkle304 Posted August 21, 2013 Posted August 21, 2013 You're lying to yourself. You want to contact her, not to find closure, but to try and get back together. I used to tell myself the same thing....I'll contact him because I need closure. HA! I wanted him back. You will get over this! Yes, it seemed perfect for those two months. I've been there too (exactly one week ago to be specific). Clearly, if she wants you back, she will find you. NO CONTACT!
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