egalew Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 SIngle mom here. THough I make good money, I also have a child to support. I recently started dating someone. He's broke and has several jokes about me buying him little stuff. For instance, yesterday I was at Target and he texts: "What are you buying me?" He is always joking, but it's annoying. I often joke back or ignore. Suggestions on how to handle? Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Ignore. Try to keep things balanced with giving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 my hunch is he sees a nice home, your place, do not indulge him, he is pushing you, he is a persistent moocher! Link to post Share on other sites
Author egalew Posted August 19, 2013 Author Share Posted August 19, 2013 Dark. That is my hunch too. But I'm this close to saying: "I got to pay for this, and this, and this......." It is really starting to annoy me. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 That can get old pretty fast. A guy that is always broke and asking you to buy him stuff? I mean, who does that? When I was a broke teenager (college student) and dating men with jobs, I would never dream of asking them to buy me stuff. That's just tacky. I know some people do that, but it's tacky. Time to dump this guy. He may be joking about it, but his humor masks his true feelings in this case. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Dark. That is my hunch too. But I'm this close to saying: "I got to pay for this, and this, and this......." It is really starting to annoy me. then go to the shops on your own, absolutely I would date him, but nothing more, it's already a drag - of his making KathyM is right too Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 SIngle mom here. THough I make good money, I also have a child to support. I recently started dating someone. He's broke and has several jokes about me buying him little stuff. For instance, yesterday I was at Target and he texts: "What are you buying me?" He is always joking, but it's annoying. I often joke back or ignore. Suggestions on how to handle? Sorry to say this, but you really should let him know your expectations on this. You certainly have your reasons for dating someone who is broke, but I truly hope he is making great efforts to getting himself "liquid" again. I have had a couple of women I've dated in the past that were taken advantage of financially. They will admit that much of it was their fault, over-looking the signs of manipulation, etc. b/c they liked or loved the guy, but it eventually became worse. His joking is disguised as such, but he is serious about this queries. Talk about this to him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Don't look at your texts while at Target/shopping. He only interrupts and upsets you if you allow it. I do hope you ignored him and didn't give him the validation of any type of reply. You owe him nothing, not even "sorry, nothing for you". Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 He could be just being playful, but make sure to set your boundaries: "The more you ask, the less likely I'll ever even buy you a beer." Or better yet: "You can't afford your own shampoo?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 buy NO beer being broke should come as no surprise to this guy, it is how be lives which is not OP's problem, but his problem, a persistent problem he would have had to get round if he had not met OP I do not even see trustworthy, ain't love grand Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 You can clarify your financial situation and say that these jokes make you uncomfortable. Why is he broke? He doesn't have a job? I date someone who has a stable job, but makes less than me and I am very careful to keep things balanced, e.g. take turns paying for dates. He doesn't need to pay 100%, but I also don't pay for both. I just try to do cheaper or free activities. I make sure I don't give more/to such an extent that it becomes one sided. I also explained at some point what my expenses are, after he volunteered his income, just for him to be informed and because it was a good time to bring it up and clarify where we both stand financially. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 (edited) There have been several threads on LS along these lines. What is it with some of you women and deadbeats? It's sad enough that you are actually going for him OP, but given that you have kids to support, it's selfish of you too. You can't afford to have someone else mooching off you just because "The Chemistry" is so good. Lose him and find a more upstanding man. Edited August 19, 2013 by Imajerk17 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 He's either trying to be a smartass and thinks it is funny or he is a legitimate moocher. If you want to know which one the simplest way is to look at how he's living and dealing with being broke. Is he always broke with no plan whatsoever? Video games, drugs, drinking? Or is he broke and therefore cutting back on spending and trying to figure things out? There is a big difference between those two. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 "Sorry, I can't afford it." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I would recommend that you delete that number ASAP. I can't even find anything remotely funny about that. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 What kind of loser asks a single mom to spend money on him? Drop him because you need someone who is looking out for you and your child's best interest. He isn't joking, he's feeling you out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 Not even looking at him, said flatly: "Dude, I'm not your mom. If you treat me like I'm your mom again, this **** is over. I'm already someone else's mom." Link to post Share on other sites
SugarLips72 Posted August 19, 2013 Share Posted August 19, 2013 I'm a single mom to 2 young kids, I do not date broke guys. You shouldn't either. His jokes are childish and honestly it sounds like he is a mooch. Raise your standards. You have a child to support you do not want 2. What do you guys do on dates? Does he pay for anything? Link to post Share on other sites
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