robertson2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I have recently been seeing some for just over a month but we got on great, everything was going well and we were planning to go away for a holiday. She is polish and drinks quite a lot of vodka, one night i got very very drunk and ended up in a drunken fight with her friends boyfriend and damaged a door. I have to make clear here that I have never acted like this before (I'm 35) I have had the odd argument but nothing like that and I could not remember anything. After this happened I tried to explain myself and apologuise for my behaviour, my ex then told me about how she had a previous relationship with someone who did this and was worried it might happen again. I tried to tell her that it was because of too much vodka and maybe it would be better if i did not drink this as I never drank as much before I met her. I don't have a drink problem but like the odd beer, my ex did drink very heavily on the weekends and I tried to keep up with her and this ended in a bad way. We have seen each other twice since then the last being a week ago where she stayed the night and we talked. When she left you told me to message her but when i tried a couple of days later my text was not delivered. I then sent an email just asking if she was OK. I have not heard anything since then and think she may have blocked my number after telling me to message her. I have not contacted her for a week now but feel so bad for what happened and don't want her to think I am some idiot. I am a good person with a kind heart I just sometimes need to say no. I was thinking of just sending a final email to her as I only sent one text which failed then a very short email to ask if she was OK. This was what i was going to send or should I just delete this and accept I made a mistake she wont forgive and use it make positive changes and move on. "I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for how things ended between us, the past 3 week have been a nightmare for me going through so many emotions and wondering what went wrong. I keep thinking i can change things but then I remember the only reason we are not together anymore is because of what i did that night and nothing else. you re right for ending things and not wanting to speak to me anymore after what happened in your past. You thought I was different and then I act like some crazy person. Now you think who I really am and are worried it might happen again. This is the right thing to do and if i was your friend I would tell you to do the same. That is why it is hard for me to write this as I know I am good person with a kind heart but I also know it was because i acted in a crazy way that you don't want to see me again. We should have been planning a holiday and future together but I have to accept that this is over because of my actions and take responsibility for this. I wish I could take it back and start again but what is done is done and all I can do now is say sorry and try to move on. I really enjoyed the times we had together but I will also look back with sadness and regret at what happened. I have to accept this was my fault and only because of how I acted so i do not blame you for not wanting to see me again."
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