irc333 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I was talking to a male friend of mine , he's single...and I get talking to him about dating. He said he just did a date during the weekend and I asked him if he asked her out again. He said he hadn't yet. And I said that I usually ask them out on a date or at least a general "Would you like to do this again sometime?" He said he never does that, because shows to a woman that you're desperate. I found it odd because I have had female friends tell me that it's okay to do that. HE said, "I don't know about advice from women, because they always seem give biased advice when it comes to dating". And I was thinking that me asking them out on a 2nd date at the END of the first was probably the main reason I don't get a 2nd date? Anyone can shed some light on this? Usually I just say, "Would you like to do this again sometime?" or something to that affect.
Mrlonelyone Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I only do that if the woman brings it up. Remember women give dating advice like that with the idea in their head that they are really into the guy. They don't have in mind a woman who may be so so about you. Which is the case early on much of the time. They give advice based on what they want men who they really like to do for them. When a woman is into you there is no wrong way to ask, when they aren't into you there is no right way to ask. (To make it more confusing women change their minds often about how into a man they are.) IRC333, instead of trying to figure out if I do A she will do B. There is no instruction book. There is no program you can execute which will get a woman to like you back.
BluEyeL Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I don't know, but the guy I've been dating for 2.5 months always asked me out at the end of the current date. Always, from the first one. I don't think it shows that you're desperate. If she likes you, she'll be thrilled. If she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you anyway, it doesn't matter when you ask her out, she'll still say no. When I didn't like a guy at all, I said no. None of those asked me out at the end of current date, usually emailed or texted next day or two days later. So I agree there is no rule in fact. I'd secure the next date on the spot, so no other distractions come your way, it's not desperate, maybe more aggressive. 1
bubbaganoosh Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 If you go on a date with a girl and both of you have a good time and enjoy the evening and you leave it there on the doorstep and not ask again, IMO your shooting yourself in the foot. It would be different if during the evening that you noticed that you have nothing in common with her or the vibe coming from her isn't positive, well that's a whole new ball game. Sometimes playing these silly games about being aloof can come back and haunt you. 1
MidwestUSA Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 If a guy didn't ask me out for a second date at the end of the first, I'd consider him not interested. Now, after dating a while, where it's implied you'll go out again, fine. But the end of that first date is crucial. You KNOW at that point whether you want to see me again! So let me know! 3
Star Gazer Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 If a guy didn't ask me out for a second date at the end of the first, I'd consider him not interested. Now, after dating a while, where it's implied you'll go out again, fine. But the end of that first date is crucial. You KNOW at that point whether you want to see me again! So let me know! Agreed. With 95% of guys who I've had a second date with, they asked/brought it up during/at the end of the first date. "I'd like to see you again," or something more concrete like, "We should do this again. Are you free Saturday?" If there's no mention of it, I don't expect to hear from him again. But when he does say it?
FitChick Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Men have to decide whether they want to risk being shot down sooner or later. If you opt for later, you will have wasted days worrying. Days when you could have asked someone else out.
Author irc333 Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 It would be different if during the evening that you noticed that you have nothing in common with her or the vibe coming from her isn't positive Yeah I know what you mean, but some women put on a pretty good act about being interested in you, including to actually AGREEING to a future date. (basically lying). And when you get home and call her, she doesn't respond or doesn't return your calls.
Babolat Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I was talking to a male friend of mine , he's single...and I get talking to him about dating. He said he just did a date during the weekend and I asked him if he asked her out again. He said he hadn't yet. And I said that I usually ask them out on a date or at least a general "Would you like to do this again sometime?" He said he never does that, because shows to a woman that you're desperate. I found it odd because I have had female friends tell me that it's okay to do that. HE said, "I don't know about advice from women, because they always seem give biased advice when it comes to dating". And I was thinking that me asking them out on a 2nd date at the END of the first was probably the main reason I don't get a 2nd date? Anyone can shed some light on this? Usually I just say, "Would you like to do this again sometime?" or something to that affect. It's been a mixed bag for me. I usually want to give it a day, let the "heat of the moment" emotions settle down, see how I feel then, and then ask her out again if the interest level is still high. This has been more since I have gotten older though.
Gottabestrong Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I like it when a guy asks me for another date at the end of the first date. It shows me that he is interested and had a good time. HOWEVER - if I don't want to see the guy again it can be very uncomfortable when he asks me for a second date and I have to turn him down to his face. It is very uncomfortable for the both of us. My preferred method: at the end of the date say something like: "I had a really great time. Would you like to do it again?" My answer would range from: "Yea, maybe." to "Definitely. When are you free? :)" depending on how excited I am about the guy. And then ideally he would contact me the next day with concrete suggestions for our next date. Or not, if I didn't seem excited about his suggestion for another get together. (I do hope that I make it quite clear through my behavior whether I am interested in a guy or not. So in 90% of the cases if I am not interested a guy seems to be able to tell, because I never hear from him again. ) To sum up: ask for another date at the end of the previous, but don't try to lock down the details in case she is not interested. Give her a chance to reject you later in a way that is not face-to-face. Good luck!
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