Would you date a guy 20 years your senior?

[GirlovesArt]

I met a guy from an online dating website.

We keeps exchange email daily.

We have so much in common.

We plan to meetup when he's back from his trip in late August.

He seems serious and nice. He is rich but ugly

He is 20 years my senior.

I'm 28 years old , a good looking girl.

Would you date a guy 20 years your senior?

[Joaquin]

Not at all. Some girls like rich ugly old guys.

[Lobouspo]

You obviously would not be interested in him if he wasn't rich. If you don't mind family and friends talking behind your back how shallow you are dating an old fugly dude old enough to be your father go for it....

[Leigh 87]

No way.

 

A guy about 20 years older than me wanted to date me. He is actually a pretty cool guy!

 

except it grossed me out.

 

He is too old.

 

Not to mention he would die way sooner than I would, in all likeliness. If we lasted.

[BluEyeL]

I wouldn't date anyone 20 yrs older than me. 10 years at most.

[Emilia]

No chance. Sexual compatibility would be questionable to say the list, long term I don't want to be someone's nurse, thanks.

[Janesays]

No. Never. I'd rather just get a job and make my own money.

[Art_Critic]

I met a guy from an online dating website.

We keeps exchange email daily.

We have so much in common.

We plan to meetup when he's back from his trip in late August.

He seems serious and nice. He is rich but ugly

He is 20 years my senior.

I'm 28 years old , a good looking girl.

Would you date a guy 20 years your senior?

 

What will his wife think ?

 

You being 28 and him 48... it's a stretch but go into it with the idea it will only be a relationship that won't last long...

 

By the way.. define rich.. someone you don't know, met on an online service, you haven't met yet and you think he is rich...I'm guessing this is what he told you....

[ASG]

I would consider it.

I've had a thing with a guy 17 years older than me. He is hot as hell! I would consider dating him, as I would consider dating anyone I was attracted to.

[MidwestUSA]

How will you feel when he wants you to have his ugly babies? Will money be enough for you to go thru with it?

[darkmoon]

at his age, he will be lucky to get you and old enough to know that he should help you in life, older men can think they are rugged (gorgeous) but some are just worn out

 

he is probably set in his ways due to having figured out his likes and dislikes having time to exist in trial and error situations, he can be the descion maker, downright control, thinking he is more experienced and thus wiser, but know naff all, and he might well be a tightwad because he does not want to feel you only want his money

 

that is what I lived thru, anyway

 

if your family are horrified at you n him, I would not be surprised

 

are you the first younger woman he has known, youth is at a premium, or does he like to go with as much pretty skirt as he can get?

Edited August 19, 2013 by darkmoon

[sweetkiwi]

I met a guy from an online dating website.

We keeps exchange email daily.

We have so much in common.

We plan to meetup when he's back from his trip in late August.

He seems serious and nice. He is rich but ugly

He is 20 years my senior.

I'm 28 years old , a good looking girl.

Would you date a guy 20 years your senior?

 

The bolded is all you need to know. You lead with "rich", materialism, and ended with "ugly", zero actual attraction.

 

I've dated men twenty years my senior. But I was attracted to them and didn't give a thought to their bank accounts.

[Babolat]

I met a guy from an online dating website.

We keeps exchange email daily.

We have so much in common.

We plan to meetup when he's back from his trip in late August.

He seems serious and nice. He is rich but ugly

He is 20 years my senior.

I'm 28 years old , a good looking girl.

Would you date a guy 20 years your senior?

 

This happened to me recently, though we really did not date after she announced she had a bf. I just turned 47, she will be 29 in a few weeks.

 

I always assumed she was older by the way she carried herself. My guess was early to mid 30s. She told me she liked older men, always has since she was a teen.

 

To answer your question, I think it's ok, not strange, as had she not had a bf I would have considered it; at least I would have continued to spend time with her and see where it went.

[Avulare]

Gross. I could never be attracted to a man old enough to be my father.

[FitChick]

A guy 20 years older than me would be dead.

 

I prefer men 20 years younger.

[KathyM]

My niece (in her 20s) dated a guy old enough to be her father. My niece had/has daddy issues because she grew up without a father actively in her life. Even so, she eventually came to her senses and realized there was no future in that relationship for her. She realized what she really wanted was someone she can feel compatible with as a contemporary, someone she can feel proud to be with in front of friends and family, and someone who is in the same stage of life she is. She's much happier now, with a guy her own age.

 

If I were single, no way would I be interested in dating a guy 20 years older. It would feel like I was dating my father, and I would feel objectified rather than respected.

[KathyM]

Regardless of the legitimacy of OP, and regardless of real logistical problems in age gaps, making assumptions about -attitudes- merely due to age is a gigantic dating and relationship mistake IMO. Its a mistake that is repeated over and over here where people assume "the age is this, so the attitude or personality must be this."

 

I have known many 50 y.o. people with the emotional development of an 18 y.o. and vice versa, same with activity level and thirst for life, same with any kind of thing having to do with attitude, tastes, awareness, mentality. Physically, age is more than a number, that's a sad fact of human existence, otherwise though, age is very much just a number.

Yeah, that's what these old dudes kept telling my sister when she was dating: "Age is just a number, I feel much younger than I am, I'm not attracted to women my own age, I'm active so I relate better to younger women, yada, yada." Uh, no. You may think that you're younger, you may act like you're younger, but you are 20 years older. She was/is middle aged. Not interested in dating a retired dude in a different stage of life who she's going to have to play nursemaid to when she's wanting to travel and enjoy life.

[PlumPrincess]

I met a guy from an online dating website.

We keeps exchange email daily.

We have so much in common.

We plan to meetup when he's back from his trip in late August.

He seems serious and nice. He is rich but ugly

He is 20 years my senior.

I'm 28 years old , a good looking girl.

Would you date a guy 20 years your senior?

Hell, NO! But wait, are you interested in him as a person or in his money? Well, you are 20 years younger and he is rich. If you both are fine with it, who am I to condemn this alliance.

[lionoftheforum]

Clearly a troll. "Rich but ugly."

 

This. Or a clueless prole.

[kaylan]

You folks posting in this thread are easily fooled.

The above is just a particular form of bigotry equivalent of "I dated some Asian guys, they were all abusive to me, so Asian men are abusive." Age, gender, race, national origin, religion are all protected against discrimination in this country for a reason, a very good reason. Now of course it's not illegal to discriminate in dating, or to hold discriminatory attitudes such as the above, but does that make it a good idea? or lead to any form of legitimate awareness about people as individuals?

 

Evaluate people on that person's individual behavior and attitudes, not immutable characteristics. People who see a male female age gap couple and think "predator" or "gold-digger" immediately are as bad as people who see a black-white couple and think "jungle fever" are as bad as people who see a female male age gap and think "cougar" and "mama's boy." It's offensive and wrong.

 

It's plain bigotry to attribute traits in attitude or character based on immutable characteristics like age, race, or gender alone. IME A 22 y.o. man is just as likely to have a dismissive, paternalistic or objectifying attitude about the women he dates as a 70 y.o. man, same for women, same for everyone.

Pointing out the life fact of aging is bigotry?

 

Sorry but I wouldnt want to be anyones nurse either. Especially not in my youth. Why do you always get so butt-hurt when people mention the real troubles that come from age-gap relationships?

 

Seems you feel a bit insecure about it. I only ever see older bros try and defend it so much. And why the hell are you whining about gold-digger assumptions when the OP clearly set that mood by mentioning the guys wealth versus his ugliness.?

 

Its bigotry to follow the narrative of the OP? Ok bub.

 

PS - Cry moar broski, please do.

Edited August 19, 2013 by kaylan

[KathyM]

The above is just a particular form of bigotry equivalent of "I dated some Asian guys, they were all abusive to me, so Asian men are abusive." Age, gender, race, national origin, religion are all protected against discrimination in this country for a reason, a very good reason. Now of course it's not illegal to discriminate in dating, or to hold discriminatory attitudes such as the above, but does that make it a good idea? or lead to any form of legitimate awareness about people as individuals?

 

Evaluate people on that person's individual behavior and attitudes, not immutable characteristics. People who see a male female age gap couple and think "predator" or "gold-digger" immediately are as bad as people who see a black-white couple and think "jungle fever" are as bad as people who see a female male age gap and think "cougar" and "mama's boy." It's offensive and wrong.

 

It's plain bigotry to attribute traits in attitude or character based on immutable characteristics like age, race, or gender alone. IME A 22 y.o. man is just as likely to have a dismissive, paternalistic or objectifying attitude about the women he dates as a 70 y.o. man, same for women, same for everyone.

So if people don't want to date someone their dad's age, they're bigots. If people don't want to date someone who is morbidly obese, they are bigots. If people don't want to date someone that is unemployed, they are bigots. Hate to break it to you, but people discriminate against others when it comes to who they date. Even you do. And they have a right to decide who they are going to date based on whatever criteria they choose. If they think a much older man is not going to be compatible with them or have enough in common with them, they are well within their rights to decide not to date him. If that's bigotry, then I guess that would include everyone who has any kind of preference about who they choose to date.

[mesmerized]

If he is hot as hell would I have sex with him? maybe. Would I commit for long term? Not a chance.

[Knoxpwns]

I met a guy from an online dating website.

We keeps exchange email daily.

We have so much in common.

We plan to meetup when he's back from his trip in late August.

He seems serious and nice. He is rich but ugly

He is 20 years my senior.

I'm 28 years old , a good looking girl.

Would you date a guy 20 years your senior?

 

 

You blatantly compensate his looks with nothing but his income. Do you even like him beyond that?

[kaylan]

^TL;DR.

 

Get over it dasein. Most chicks want men their own age, and OP set the tone of the thread. Stop whining in every age gap thread that turns up. Youre too typical most of the time.

[KathyM]

I see, so pointing out examples of bigotry, prejudice, discrimination, whatever we want to call it, and why it's wrong, is necessarily "whining?" You are welcome to your opinion, I guess, and thanks for the clarity.

So tell me, if you are so enlightened and open-minded, and make no discriminations based on age, would you be interested in dating women 20 years older than yourself? I know some friends of my mother who are looking for a nice guy to have a relationship with. Maybe I could hook you up. They are senior citizens, but really nice ladies. Would you consider dating them, or would you think they were too old for you? I suspect you would not consider it. Does that make you a bigot? No. Perhaps a hypocrite, if you are holding other people to standards of more enlightenment than you are willing to engage in yourself. These are really nice ladies.