jacg89 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 To have sex with him? So we were just making out & ...dry humping. haha. in position, just with clothes on. I kind of hinted to him and brought it up descreetly, and a few minutes later he asked me if I want to come to his place on Friday (when his roomie is at work).. I said "we'll see.." I was just stuck in the moment. we've been friends for a year and we've been making out for like a week already. I also know his family & most of the time, people ask us if we are together. The only reason why we are not together is because he is leaving to go back to his country in like 6 months, for about a year. He says that he doesn't want to be 'that *******' that leaves me when he leaves... and that he doesn't want either of us to get hurt. I completely respect him and understand where he is coming from... I feel that when he comes back we MAY be together... we are definetly not going to lose touch. So.. the only thing that is holding me back from hooking up with him is the fact that we are not together (yet..) Which I respect, but at the same time I just want him to be mine. How can I tell him in a nice way that I am not ready for all of that... unless we are together? because I don't want turn into an emotional mess... (I am a cancer. haha)
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 That's not the only he isn't with you...it's just a great excuse to keep being sexual assertive with you without you getting it in your brain he is just trying to have sex with you....seriously think about it, he doesn't want to be "together" but wants to keep dry humping you and inviting you over to his place....gee, I wonder what that means...the guy wants to have sex with you obviously and you wouldn't be his whether he left or not, he's just looking to hook-up. Tell the guy you're not hooking up with him, that he's going to be leaving soon and you're not going to let him emotionally dig you into a hole with him then he'll just leave and say "well that's the plan, good luck now!"...otherwise hook up and then get all emotionally and "try to make it work" then realize you can't and he's still leaving he'll tell you how it's so haaard but has to leave and you'll be like maybe I can visit and he'll be like just shut up I'm trying to leave without any problems and you'll be like omg I'm going to miss you so much you're my everything why can't we be together...etc etc and he'll just remind you that you knew the entire time he had to leave and he'll feed you some emotional lies so you can sit there confused and conflicted while you're gone. You're going to be an emotional mess (big surprise there) and he's going to nonchalantly back off in the end because you're really just a temporary position for vagina...you decide if you want to be that or think it's more, you'll see what happens. I'm sure he'll convince you it's not that way and act like there's a chance in the future when there really isn't...and you'll want to believe it.
Author jacg89 Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 That's not the only he isn't with you...it's just a great excuse to keep being sexual assertive with you without you getting it in your brain he is just trying to have sex with you....seriously think about it, he doesn't want to be "together" but wants to keep dry humping you and inviting you over to his place....gee, I wonder what that means...the guy wants to have sex with you obviously and you wouldn't be his whether he left or not, he's just looking to hook-up. Tell the guy you're not hooking up with him, that he's going to be leaving soon and you're not going to let him emotionally dig you into a hole with him then he'll just leave and say "well that's the plan, good luck now!"...otherwise hook up and then get all emotionally and "try to make it work" then realize you can't and he's still leaving he'll tell you how it's so haaard but has to leave and you'll be like maybe I can visit and he'll be like just shut up I'm trying to leave without any problems and you'll be like omg I'm going to miss you so much you're my everything why can't we be together...etc etc and he'll just remind you that you knew the entire time he had to leave and he'll feed you some emotional lies so you can sit there confused and conflicted while you're gone. You're going to be an emotional mess (big surprise there) and he's going to nonchalantly back off in the end because you're really just a temporary position for vagina...you decide if you want to be that or think it's more, you'll see what happens. I'm sure he'll convince you it's not that way and act like there's a chance in the future when there really isn't...and you'll want to believe it. Thanks.. I am going to tell him that I can't do it.. I just don't know how.
Author jacg89 Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 Ugh. Sounds like FWB. I think you'll be setting a precedent for being NOTHING MORE than f*ck-buddies if you go over there and have sex with this kid when his room mate is away. This is the WRONG way to go about building a relationship. I can't even believe that all of this just happened. It just happened out of nowhere. I am not going to have sex with him until we are together.. and I don't know how to tell him. But if we never get together, we never have sex. I am just not that type of person.
Amethystic Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 So we were just making out & ...dry humping. I know it's hard, but if you aren't ready to have sex, then don't dry hump him! You're sending mixed signals. Dry humping non-verbally signals to him that you're ready to romp, and if that isn't the case, it makes you look like a tease. How can I tell him in a nice way that I am not ready for all of that... unless we are together? because I don't want turn into an emotional mess... (I am a cancer. haha) Tell him you want to take things slowly. Definitely let him know that you find him desirable and you want to have sex eventually, but not right away. But make sure your words and actions match up. Don't give him a hj through his pants one second, but turn around and play the goodie goodie act the next. I also wouldn't advise being alone with him in a situation where sex could happen if you aren't ready for it. Have sex when you're ready for it, not just because he wants it.
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