templeofmax Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 (edited) We had a huge fight because I told her family we needed a break out of anger and impulse. So she broke up with me. The next day my grandfather died so I had to fly back home. Do you think she was there for support? She said her sorries and hung up the phone. My grandpa always asked about her. No matter what I did, which wasn't cheating or abusing her in any case, she has to be really ****ed up to do this. Even if she broke up, I would expect a 'hey, how are you doing' a week after my grandpa died. No, she had the balls to e-mail why my family did not say thanks for the 'support' from her and her family. WTF? Support? Seriously? So while I am grieving two losses, she is putting pictures of herself in Facebook looking all happy, then when I came back into town, ignoring all my messages. To complete the picture, one of her cousins, this immature grammar-deficient 20-year old brat insults me and my family over text message that same day that my grandfather died and she copies her family in the whole thing. When I tell her to please stop since my grandfather died her response is 'my grandfather died too'. Yes, 8 years ago, you ****ing imbecile. So she vows to not let her cousin near me again, and my 28-year old insecure ex does exactly that. So while I am grieving a huge loss in my life and a 2.5 years tumultuous relationship because of her freaking insecurities, she is putting pics up smiling. when my sister messaged her asking her to not lose her friendship and to please tell her cousin to not insult her, she ignored my sister's messages. My sister did not do any crap and she has this idea that because I am close to my sister, I have her on second plane. I wasn't the best boyfriend as I used to have a temper and some anxiety that I am working on, but I was there when she had the insecure thoughts and the ideas that an ******* ex put in her head. Always asking me if I would abandon her and I had to stand her jealous rage over her cousins, my cousin, my sister, my female friends back home. Hell, I don't even have female friends in town. I am as loyal as they come and honest to the core. Yes, Im not perfect, but I have good values, don't have vices, come from a good family, etc. So the hypocrite now abandons ME in this way, sending a 2-line e-mail and that's that? I know there will be a day that she will regret this when she gets some loser. However, I so wish I could move on, but I think about her all the time and get nostalgic at the person I thought she was. Why would I want to get back to her? Why have I been 4 months thinking of the time when I will talk to her again? Why do I make images in my mind about apologizing (again) and asking for a chance? I did post something about getting her back a few days ago. Am I demented? I even sent a mass message to her family (not that cousin) apologizing. Hell, its not as if I killed somebody. She may be fed up with my disrespect, and I actually agree that the breakup needed to happen, but this is not the way to end a relationship, especially not during this tie in my life. I think I may be codependent, cause otherwise how can I fathom a new relationship with her? Edited August 19, 2013 by templeofmax
lovesucks76 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Man, you're hurt because you lost someone who was supposed to be there especially after your grandfather passed. Sorry for saying this but reading your post made me think she appears to be immature and self centered. It sounds like it's all about her and her feelings, her cousin, her family...blah, blah! I never heard a concern about YOU here. How are YOU doing? How are YOU dealing with your grandfather's death? etc...No, none of that. Even if things got better between you two I could never forgive her for acting like that. That's what I call " a deal breaker". I need someone with compassion. Who can see the difference between a little fight and a death in the family. She has some growing up to to. 1
Author templeofmax Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 Thanks man. I actually feel bad that I have been mourning her loss more than my grandpa´s. Its so ****ed up. I think I am starting to get my head out of my ass. She is in fact emotionally immature and suffers from low self-esteem. So she did not love me, it was more like she needed me to validate her feelings of inadequacy and when I could not do it to that degree (its never enough, really), she just left. I mean, I did my BS too as I am not the most mature person, so I did act out sometimes. However, her response to conflict was literally running away or hanging up the phone. Always going off about my sister and I. Who knows what sick ****ing image she has in her head. I felt like walking on egg shells a lot of the time. But I was still there with her, only she doesnt see it. What is worse is that her family is even closer to her and ´protects´her and feeds her insecurity. She could be herself with her big family, but I needed to walk on egg shells because I am close to the only family member I have in town (parents leave overseas). I know I skipped a bullet with this one cause the sweet, caring girl I thought I knew is gone. What is worse, SHE was the one telling me that I am egotistical, that my sister manipulates me, etc. Its like she projects that image of herself onto me. And to think I chased her like an idiot for a couple of months so she could have the satisfaction of ignoring me. I should had listened to my family when she first left me for two months. Instead I begged and when we came back together she was worse than before.
Lovemaryjane Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 No women should ever be that heartless. Shoot dude, you really need to go vent to a genuine girl or your friends. Just forget about her. NC and cut her off. There are so many more caring people in the world! Anyways keep your head up man, I'm so sorry for your loss 1
Kimmie80 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 It always happens to the best of us. It sucks. There really is no advice to give other than to go NC for you. To get yourself back to the way you were before she came in the picture. You didn't need her before, you will eventually no longer need her again. And time. Time heals all wounds. She will always be in a special place in your heart, but you will get to the point where you can start focusing on you and only you. I just keep logging on to this site and read the stories similar to mine. This, right now, it whats keeping me grounded. IT helps to know that I am not alone. That I am not crazy for the anxiety and depression that I am feeling. Its crazy how much one person can turn your entire life upside down. I just keep believing that everything happens for a reason, and if they are meant to be with us, then they will. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow. But if its meant to be it will happen. You wouldnt want her back the way she is right now anyways. Maybe she lost herself? This time will help you heal and maybe she will find herself again. In the meantime, just keep on going. Every day you go NC, you are regaining control. You are getting yourself back. Keep strong! 2
Author templeofmax Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 No women should ever be that heartless. Shoot dude, you really need to go vent to a genuine girl or your friends. Just forget about her. NC and cut her off. There are so many more caring people in the world! Anyways keep your head up man, I'm so sorry for your loss Thank you man. Appreciate it a lot!
Author templeofmax Posted August 19, 2013 Author Posted August 19, 2013 It always happens to the best of us. It sucks. There really is no advice to give other than to go NC for you. To get yourself back to the way you were before she came in the picture. You didn't need her before, you will eventually no longer need her again. And time. Time heals all wounds. She will always be in a special place in your heart, but you will get to the point where you can start focusing on you and only you. I just keep logging on to this site and read the stories similar to mine. This, right now, it whats keeping me grounded. IT helps to know that I am not alone. That I am not crazy for the anxiety and depression that I am feeling. Its crazy how much one person can turn your entire life upside down. I just keep believing that everything happens for a reason, and if they are meant to be with us, then they will. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow. But if its meant to be it will happen. You wouldnt want her back the way she is right now anyways. Maybe she lost herself? This time will help you heal and maybe she will find herself again. In the meantime, just keep on going. Every day you go NC, you are regaining control. You are getting yourself back. Keep strong! Thank you. Appreciate it!! I know, what will be, will be. I know I have aspects of myself that I need to change and couldn't do it inside the relationship, so it needed to happen, but the way she handled things is just very disheartening. I also gave soo much to her, but the way she treated me makes me think she listened to her stupid cousin and rest of her family, like if I was the devil. Her self-esteem must be really low to do this.
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